Todd Van Buskirk, Artist

Long Shadow of One Human Fetus: a novel

2012-02-01T07:10:00.001-07:00

Appropriated from various fan-fiction sources, Van Buskirk has remixed a new story into being, about the experience of the womb, the experience of birth, the terror of entering life, and the terror of no control as you enter the new light.

Long Shadow of One Human Fetus Excerpt:

Baby Fox Fetus

Fetus walked through the rooms by pushing open the red curtains. It was almost impossible to tell where the entrance to the room was and where it wasn't. All that he knew was to follow the direction that the black arrows on the floor were pointing. He found himself moving in slow motion into the room with two red chairs and one lamp. There was a compulsion to sit down and he couldn't argue. He went into double speed as he sat down and went to reach for the bottle of beer next to him but it went further and further away.

"No… Fachox. No." His father was in front of him, "No Fachox. No alcoachol for yachyou."

Fetus looked at his father with a confused look on his face. His father pointed in front of him.

"No… Fachox. No alcoachol for fachox."
No… Fox. No alcohol for fox

the attacking Fetus. he was almost if Fetus was noachow." She pointed his hands around is his own was Momma Krychek huachrt everacheboachdy."

Fetus didn't the next look at, it huachrt everacheboachdy."

Fetus didn't for that, "When?"

"Meachlisachsa." Was he the slow motion. Everyone allowed him to it wasn't his greeted by a channel. Momma was say." Samantha said, words… But as brother." Fetus said, say something, but to tell where the room with Fachox. No alcoachol soul.

There was so achnot whaachat they yelled back, trying letting go was sitting there and found the words… the entrance to to the red eyes widened to the next room. breathe. It seemed Can someone really a couple of "No Fachox. No "I'm not going doiaching Foachox?" A voice came from him, "Thiachis whachat icht waachnts."

Fetus didn't beachtter wachth me."

"No." couldn't argue. He achlive."
Look at things clasped around the fight." Fetus said.

"No. own lifeless eyes. thiachings cachloseachosely." Krychek "Wait. YOU'RE the two hands lifted Samantha said.

There were he knew was screamed again, he looked down.

"Haachtreached eachquachls it back, it pushing open the the right way mother, "Mom?"

"Yoachou Foachox. he was travelling.

First Say something."

The eyes his father pointed. sat down and looked at his out. He looked huachrt me. Yoachou sitting opposite, "Samantha." down in an vowing never to sat down and return but to somewhere along the The whole thing body hit the sitting on the chair with Samantha sitting opposite, "Samantha." Fetus said.

"Whaachteva yoachou Going deeper and and laughing. It gone and Bill faachault." His mother Listen Fox.

Fetus lifted doppelganger." Fetus knew alcoachol for yachyou."

Fetus protected you."

Fetus reached I did I'm That if you But nothing came withaoachout yoachou." The his mother.

It all puppet. He put tied down to closely… This place often wondering how into the previous once he was "Dachana Scachlly be front of him.

"No… Yeah Twin peaks need the subtitles there was nothing unsaid, stay unsaid. fault he began Murder.

The suicide of father was in could trace right black arrows and Fetus followed. The whole thing played in fast forward eyes burned hatred down without a hell of which Fetus walked back turned the bottle as if a walk to the himself off in my favourite shows Fox Faces Danger.

In as if a his words weren't woman turned around feet slid back the red chair.

"Samantha…" fachault Foachox. Icht was a constant before him, "Sachorry said, "Yachour siachster, channel. Momma was looked up, there to face him whole thing played looked like he But as soon He was sure of beer next down.

"Haachtreached eachquachls deacheath Fetus walked back was nothing to confused look on Foachox fachaces daachangerr."
Hatred curtain marked with flashing lights and unachsaid. Liistachn Foachox."
Same could trace right look at, it it went further Scuachully."

Fetus stood still, nechver wachs."

"But I forming any words.

"Saachame Yeah Twin peaks fight to the screamed in his said.

Everything went black. matched the red clasped around the said, "Yachour siachster, is his own take a drink. "I'm not going and laughing. It once he was before him, "Sachorry his hands around he was greeted Fetus

Fetus walked through said, "Yachour siachster, She didn't look tied down to eyes widened to finally found the wiachill eaacht you hell of which faachault." His mother wasn't my fault." of him.

"Misachtah Muachmulder." strangling Krychek he YOU'RE the doppelganger." withaoachout yoachou." The head as the Samantha pointing at But as soon shot went back himself moving in Womb reach?

A/N: This "Okachay to feecheel say." Samantha said, came. He could the salty water He felt himself Can someone really bad."

"But." Fetus said.

"Lecht Brave Fox Faces him, "Thiachings are is his own and one lamp. love me that tears streaming down was eerie, "Momma… he was falling, look at, it by a red suddenly it did scene turned snowy Fetus found himself there was nothing said.

She screamed again in nothingness and Fetus protested, "Whatever tied down to father with a Womb reach?

A/N: This an exact replica exited the Womb being backed into said as she turned the bottle to him but he knew was a split second an exact replica Fetus's short trip and further away.

"No… trying to focus, channel. Momma was tell which direction the legend, he soul.

There was so Foachox fachaces daachangerr."
Hatred matched the red two red chairs looked like he the next sound of people deep to the fault he began to break free huachrt me." Momma achlive."
Look at things the Doppelganger or me."

"Mom." Fetus said. from his own nothing come out, was the Fetus make it until lively blue eyes, He felt himself front of him, the room with they seem.

"Looachook acht achnythachng." Samantha said, remained, Momma. Why'd go Fochx." Samantha his father pointed. achnythachng." Samantha said, Danger.

In the next clapping as he else's.

Fetus felt his her. Since the said, "What now?"

"Giachive Fetus said.

"Whaachteva yoachou his eyeballs in but he looked so loud that back to him. feet.

"Wait a minute." Fetus in the for the bottle father pointed in up.

"Yoachou coachouldn't do say something, but but everyone was the rat. It blue eyes with his head and was almost impossible around the delicate at the entrance, and went to floor with a chest and Fetus's he had entered.

"Mom?" Krychek he had thing.

"What?" Fetus said, he was almost letting go was him, "Thiachings are feet slid back him up and Foachox." Samantha said. the liquid. Suddenly doppelganger." Fetus knew and he quickly eyes were now me."

"Mom." Fetus said. as if a Fetus knew the was Momma Krychek the floor were much he wanted zombie? Was he him.

"EEE-PPPIIIIPH-AAAA-NNNYYY" She said chair.

"Samantha…" His voice fox

Fetus shook his he looked down soon as he speed as he and he quickly direction. Since there X-Files

THE WOMB!

Baby Fox couldn't argue. He to an unfound to follow the but the liquid sitting in front the Dana Momma his ear drums Foachox fachaces daachangerr."
Hatred she had her it wasn't his stepped to his death Fox. Evil front of him.

"No… whole thing played as he sat face.

"Whachts huachurry?" The was going to was an exact of all time. of him.

"Misachtah Muachmulder." the Fetus facing for him in a split second as he ducked up, there room, to stop it. be destined to drums pulsating. She to an unfound of him.

"Misachtah Muachmulder." Fetus knew the at the entrance, and one lamp. sitting opposite, "Samantha." own lifeless eyes. "Momma." Was all strangling Krychek he but he didn't was a constant and X-Files are now flowing. He deeper into the Danger.

In the next red head. Her neck of Samantah.

"Iachs she stood up breathe. It seemed Fetus's short trip wachth me."

"No." Fetus There was a often wondering how around to see was right. The Momma JR stood No alcohol for faachault." His mother wiachill eaacht you father pointed in the entrance to That if you the next room. That if you thiachings cachloseachosely." Krychek screamed again, he had no choice but to run. Momma was waiting open, instead of the entrance to Everything was damned slow motion into was almost impossible concentration to stand look a day as he ducked down and he the salty water of the evil her. Since the death and IT Fetus followed. The up, there room, achseeacheem."
Mister Fetus. Things return but to she disappeared, "Eachville voice came from "What now?"

"Giachive uchup." for the beer tell which direction turned around to into slow motion the rat. It she had her held hands as turned around to Can someone really subtitles appeared where by rage.

"Whaachat are black arrows on soul does the sat down and the rat. It an exact replica Sachon of ach

Fanfic: The Womb!, Samantha said.

There were fox

Fetus shook his death and IT Fetus saw his faachault." His mother through the Womb

sshtackay off withaoachout yoachou." machn."

"No." Fetus said.

"Yoachour "No Fachox. No they were white A voice came on. It wasn't "I'm not going Fetus said.

"Whaachteva yoachou the Fetus facing equals death Fox. throats.

Fetus was able he was almost Fachox. No alcoachol head as the said, "Yachour siachster, went into double zombie? Was he was almost impossible here. Words unsaid, can ever control no choice but to watch the Fetus found himself sickening thud. He achyou doiaching Foachox?" achlive."
Look at things fight to the Fetus walked back was solid. He and where it only thing he Krychek's throat and Yeah Twin peaks her. Since the he had entered.

"Mom?" the red chair.

"Samantha…" The real Fetus there was nothing she always stayed? Fetus protested, "Whatever Fetus said, "Come he wasn't strangling his face. His and continued sprinting room, he was her eyes, "Yoachou manage to say.

"Yoachou greeted by a yelled back, trying for that, "When?"

"Meachlisachsa." black arrows on out. He looked room he was at the entrance, he was floating himself moving in Fetus found himself father with a himself off in eerie, "Momma… Say had no choice body hit the to an unfound as he sat front of him.

"No… return but to something."

The eyes flickered was your older huachrt me. Yoachou curtains which matched noachow." She pointed throats.

Fetus was able never forget. But Samantha said.

There were clasped around the He felt himself falling. He tried he was almost curtains which matched the room was looked down.

"Haachtreached eachquachls he had entered.

"Mom?" read it somewhere he was travelling.

First me."

"Mom." Fetus said. Fetus said, "Come He wanted to heachere." His father as if a protected you."

Fetus reached it back, it Fetus felt like deacheath Foachox." Samantha Murder.

The suicide of up. His movements Momma JR stood flickered open, instead allowed him to go Fochx." Samantha Fetus

Fetus walked through composure, "No." His warned, "Thiachis plachace come now. Brave in the new Momma was waiting a constant reminder, and she had was something running sat down and Was this what my fault."

The whole him.

"EEE-PPPIIIIPH-AAAA-NNNYYY" She said had his hands feel his ear she disappeared, "Eachville But nothing came for fachox."
No… Fox. Sachon of ach

Fanfic: The Womb!, X-Files

THE WOMB!

Old Wig: a new novel

2012-01-31T05:32:00.001-07:00

Van Buskirk’s newest novel, “Old Wig,” is appropriated from online discussions regarding Richard Egarr’s new recording of J.S. Bach’s Goldberg Variations. These entertaining discussions all come from stuffed shirts online who treat Egarr’s recording as controversial because of his choice of tuning and ideas regarding Bach’s “Cantabile” styling’s. Van Buskirk mixed the text through a methodology used on most of his novels, creating confusion, mayhem, and happenstance.

Excerpt:

Goldbergs being released for US tour
Bradley Lehman writes:
A
< live lecture-demonstration might help, though. >
I would be curious to know your top recordings (on harpsichord).
I have seen the positive side, it is very encouraging to hear the same two instruments a month apart they may sound very much the same. Like so much in the simplest keys.
Jan Hanford wrote (March , ):
Brad Lehman stated:
>>Looking back on those archived messages, the topic was apparently a discussion whether the folk song "Mein junges Leben hat ein End" is really part of it "in action." I see Egarr's Goldberg's will feature the discovered Bach's temperament. The second was how he wouplay it if it were accompanied by a keyboard instrument tuned in equal temperament. No chance to hear the E major, a favourite of ours, and this is, in my previous posting does not seem to point to the G-B interval, and the Conrad Henfling (now we know his first name) who carried on rather significant correspondence on the "Listen to the question on whether non-technical listeners to music hear the sea. But, no, I am ordering a copy today.
Thomas Braatz wrote (March , ):
Classicstoday.com review of Egarr's Goldbergs
John Pike wrote (August , ):
Yesterday's live broadcast of BBC 's "Early Music Show" featured harpsichordist Richard Egarr did not come "before" Gould, happy for JS Bach's Goldberg popularity as well.
PS: I really loved the end (aria da capo) and the ease of maintenance. Always behaves smoothly, never has a crisis. Or substitute "car" or "good stereo system" for "pet"....whatever.
Other temperaments fail (sound harsh, or directly ugly) especially in the performance arts its a matter of 'feel' which is difficult to describe precisely what the differences in isolation. It's a good player--which Egarr is--to let the instrument sound tremendous. He, too, has said that some of this musical decision has been building and which are due to other factors. Ultimately, I suspect that you have to disagree about the quodlibet. For me, that was one of the instruments varies, I don't think many people could detect a difference in tuning. But it might be released on March or , or various dates in April, at different places....
Egarr is supposed to be included on the violin, unaccompanied.
There was no doubt some would disapprove of this.
I found a review of Egarr's concert: http://www.nytimes.com////arts/music/egar.html
A point of the WTC, recorded using the Brad/Bach temperament. Initial impressions are extremely favourable. i am concentrating on trying to show off, Frenchifying the Goldbergs, and it did seem that the re-tuning was the most substantial change they made.
So, it's quite possible that listeners do respond to different tuning systems without quite realising it's the tuning compared to equal. I don't think we mere mortals can actually hear the temperament at its most bright and spicy, and I think it's a mess. Oh well. Thankfully I have attempted to demonstrate is only "purporting to be looking at the height of his recordings - I can listen to it I really loved the end of a folksong (the listener can identify most folk-song references immediately upon hearing the sequence of first notes) seems to misunderstand completely what Bach was trying to note the difference in the German language, that "Hänfling" can also be traceable to other factors. Ultimately, I suspect that you still believe that Bach would have allowed his compositional skills to be working. I paste the review below:
At last, thank heaven, the Goldberg Variations, and played several of his powers. Someone asked a question about tuning and which are ascribed to it again; even if coming back to any other non-equal temperament. It turns out, as often happens in the upbeats of Var. .
A word of praise, incidentally, for the cd booklet, is available as a singing style of playing (this implies a more favourable impression overall. I have pasted the main part of the Goldberg Variations recording is available to download at iTunes and emusic.com. >
Thank you for the GV. I think that placing the variations much too quickly. His playing sounds plodding to me. His use of legato jarred me at first. But I can't, for the minor-key variations, and no sentimentalizing of the Ruckers copy instrument. This is an interesting comparison. I am not a musician, just loves listening and will not dare judging as I love Schiff's second recording and Tureck's recording from Egarr that he is beginning to take on a regular basis. But I can't, for the GV. I think I am beginning to detect it. It is sort of thing should be done more often to help people understand what lies behind the music.
bwv_ wrote (March , ):
Richard Egarr's new recording of the different variations. It is very encouraging to hear the difference that makes in the second time - when I was also disappointed after a first listen to the sound of the bar. This can be a Procrustean bed for the GV. I think that placing the variations live in the variations. >>
Anne Russell wrote:
< . The tempi variations and (relatively discreet) use of legato jarred me at first. But I can't, for the correction. I meant "rubato" not "legato."
Bradley Lehman writes:
A
< live lecture-demonstration might help, though. >
I do agree with Egarr that he is beginning to detect it. It makes both the music while playing it.... Other temperaments fail (sound harsh, or directly ugly) especially in the Bach Ciaccona with the stateliness of that presentation. Now, some excerpts from that informal dialogue have become enshrined in Harmonia Mundi booklet notes. Hmm. Well, at least for me as a BCW page purporting to be obvious, or to call any attention to itself: but merely to reveal the music and instrument with beautiful sounds. It catalyzes excellent performers to give outstandingly sensitive performances, listening closely to the sound of the bar. This can be ordered through ArkivMusic as an artistical means" etc. The most such
listeners are able to do, is to identify a singer singing out of tune :)
I must say that if there wouldn't be one secured copy of Christophe Rousset's Goldbergs (for a reasonable price) for a first listen to on a regular basis. But I can't, for the insert-notes, which in their own experiments than in what the differences in isolation. It's a good thing this was quite a disappointment.
Donald Satz wrote (March , ):
bwv_ wrote:
< As for Peter Watchorn's recording are really excellent. I know a disc is in stock, because "advance order" can quickly change to "backorder".
Egarr's Goldbergs available online
Jan Hanford wrote (March , ):
< (........) On the positive side, it is my "lay" ears? Or maybe the recording itself? >
Here is yesterday's New York Times review of it "in action." I see Egarr's Goldberg's will feature the discovered Bach's temperament. The story of discovery is really part of the Goldbergs. I prefer both Schiff's second recording and Tureck's recording from Egarr that some of Biber's Rosary Sonatas. Since they use very strange tunings, the performers gave a lecture recital by the process of simple comparison a connection can be effective, but he over does it. In that game I would likely also give the performances three stars out of tune :)
I must admit, though, the sound of the discovery.
Anne (Nessie) Russell wrote (March , ):
[To Donald Satz] Since Egarr's Goldbegrs are available in North America. I found myself increasingly annoyed by the respondent) sounds especially harsh and loaded word as "disintegrative".
See also my own recent posting elsewhere, about cantabile playing (from Bach's title page (and he didn't pay me for saying so, in case anyone wondered).
Goldbergs being released for US tour
Bradley Lehman wrote (March , ):
For those who can't wait for the life of me, detect the difference that the Lehman tuning system makes to this music. Am I missing something obvious? Maybe it is my favourite recording of WTC, which I've already listened to more than his essay.
Bradley Lehman wrote:
< Peter Watchorn phoned me yesterday with news that his own recording of the tuning is not to be serious musical analysis, and then I responded to the Egarr is touring the US playing this piece and other Bach repertoire. Schedule: http://www.moens-artists.nl/moens_artists/homeEgar.html
=====
Peter Watchorn phoned me yesterday with news that his own recording of book of the instrument. (I've played on quilled harpsichords too myself, and concur about those musical advantages: but mine have the more i read the experiences of experienced harpsichordists, the more i read the BBC review. Although I don't know where you live, but the one used here certainly creates a very pleasing effect throughout the variations. (I am now listening to the beginning of the instrument. (I've played on quilled harpsichords too myself, and concur about those musical advantages: but mine have the more i read the BBC review. Although I don't know if it's just simple scales in there.... Another member had made some claims that I thought Brad was a discernable difference which is difficult to describe precisely what the differences in isolation. It's a good thing this was quite enlightening. This sort of thing should be done more often to help people understand what lies behind the music.
bwv_ wrote (March , ):
bwv_ wrote:
< What are listeners' initial impressions of this recording? >
My copy of Christophe Rousset's Goldbergs (for a reasonable price) for a number of recordings of the Goldberg Variations Review: Egarr [P. Bright]
John Pike wrote (August , ):
Jan Hanford wrote (March , ):
I got the Egarr Goldbergs. With additional hearings, my opinion of the CD hasn't arrived yet, but I am no expert and could always find some beauty in any of the Goldbergs on harpsichord (e.g., Pinnock, Gilbert, Hantai I and II, Cole), which I listen to on a different quality.
This convinced me that tuning does make a real difference to the G-B interval, and the fughetta of Var. , to match the first variation has an engaging light-hearted energy - and speeds are fast throughout (which incidentally allows all repeats to be serious musical analysis' and that my presentation of this variation. You might find Michael Praetorius' explanation in his essay?) vocal style used by Harnoncourt in his booklet essay: http://www.harmoniamundi.com/Publish/document//HMU.pdf
has drawn some snippet quotes from me (some that I didn't remember really putting a huge amount of credit on this cantabile style to his former teacher, Isolde Ahlgrimm, about whom he has written a forthcoming book. >
While we're on this cantabile style to his former teacher, Isolde Ahlgrimm, about whom he has written a forthcoming book. >
While we're on this list, some real experts found the Frisch's quite boring. What would we say about the quodlibet. For me, that was one of the Variations is now showing up on Harmonia Mundi's web site: http://www.harmoniamundi.com/usa/album_fiche.php?album_id=
According to a wide range of folksongs, some, as this one ("Mein junges Leben hat ein End" is "rather far-fetched and contrived, posting it as the sarabande it is, with the music. But even so I would ask you and anyone else who feels this way to consider the meaning of word "Quodlibet" which Bach wrote as the designation of this recording? >
My copy of Vivaldi "Motezuma" under Alan Curtis I might end up with Egarr's set.Had no time to speak, and it gets annoying after only a few weeks ago.
He spoke for at least a dozen other performances I can certainly vouch that it does. Some years ago I was initially put off buying it. However, fortunately curiosity overcame me and I bought it.
I could approach that recording twice to date. First time - when I was fortunate enough to attend a lecture recital by the great violinist Isaac Stern, then at the height of his own, Leibniz had Henfling's work published as 'Epistola de novo suo systemate musico' in Miscellanea berolinensia, .<< There is a nicely gestural performance, but the TIMBRE of the Variations is nimbly and cleanly played: a slight overhang of resonance noticeable in the terms of tuning -- but the one used here certainly creates a very positive review over a decade ago: http://www.gramophone.co.uk/gramofilereview.asp?reviewID=&mediaID=&issue=Reviewed%A+Gramophone+%F
I concur with this recommendation. The rhythmic control and vitality of this recording a very positive review over a decade ago: http://www.gramophone.co.uk/gramofilereview.asp?reviewID=&mediaID=&issue=Reviewed%A+Gramophone+%F
I concur with this recommendation. The rhythmic control and vitality of this additional melody reference is based upon 'arbitrariness'." I would find it difficult, if not impossible to recognise the differences in isolation. It's a good player--which Egarr is--to let the instrument sing. Some of those harpsichord techniques are to listen especially carefully for lines instead of chords; and not hit the notes by altering their timing; and hold some of this recording? >
My copy of Christophe Rousset's Goldbergs (for a reasonable price) for a method of temperament. After making some revisions of his recordings - I can easily imagine his style of playing (this implies a more legato style), a style which does not swing. I do have a confession, though: I own a number of recordings of the Goldbergs on harpsichord (e.g., Pinnock, Gilbert, Hantai I and II, Cole), which I listen to and enjoy so Egarr's becomes irrelevant for me.
bwv_ wrote (March , ):
bwv_ wrote:
< Peter Watchorn phoned me yesterday with news that his own recording of the th century turn their backs on equal temperament to Händel via Leibniz
and through Bümler in Ansbach there is a robust sound from the cd release this coming week, the new Richard Egarr Goldberg Variations recording is now only '". He has re-edited that recording in , judiciously omitting a few weeks ago.
He spoke for at least a dozen other performances I can think to use is that you have to disagree about the quills, and the Frisch are leading. Funny that reading through the Amazon offerings in several countries, it might be released on March or , or various dates in April, at different places....
Egarr is trying to note the difference that the second half of Var. is a "machine that can sing." Perhaps it is used and the whole instrument already sounds more resonant and warm.
And no, this is not for me. >
Thank you for this sort of thing should be done more often to help people understand what lies behind the music.
bwv_ wrote (March , ):
bwv_ wrote:
< I do not like music which sounds metronomic, but rubato which distorts the rhythm is not the health itself (drawing any attention to itself: but merely to reveal the music and the ease of maintenance. Always behaves smoothly, never has a crisis. Or substitute "car" or "good stereo system" for "pet"....whatever.
Other temperaments fail (sound harsh, or directly ugly) especially in the German language, that "Hänfling" can also be traceable to difference in the vigorous life, and the musical disadvantages and flaws which are due to the Memento mori recording of book is positively chirpy: the alla breve Var. , crisply articulated, has an invigorating spring. There is great likelihood here that the re-tuning was the most pleasant, of all four. However, the recordings have been solved. A casual listener like me, is thinking in the afternoon explaining the whole instrument already sounds more resonant and warm.
And no, this is the quill voicing (seagull feathers - I simply found no reasons for such justifications. Therefore was so much in the FAQ of LaripS.com to the arbitrariness of that presentation. Now, some excerpts from that informal dialogue have become enshrined in Harmonia Mundi booklet notes. Hmm. Well, at least a dozen other performances I can almost hear the same bass pattern.
=====
The Taylor & Boody organ Opus is a probable distribution of at least for two weeks, I could approach that recording twice to date. First time - almost in purpose, after the Twelfth Fugue, and tail the Nineteenth Fugue with a second performance, as if it were a written repeat. All "second" performances are called "variants", which they are different but it's difficult to describe or explain rationally.
Kirk McElhearn wrote (March , ):
bwv_ wrote:
< His rubato is so annoying that I thought Brad was a discernable difference which is difficult to describe, especially after all these years--the only words I can almost hear the temperament at its most bright and spicy, and I think that placing the variations on discs is useful here, particularly since he wants to bring out the "cantabile" in the variations. >>
Anne Russell wrote:
< . The tempi variations and (relatively discreet) use of legato jarred me at first. But I take Egarr's point about how the -minute CD can be a Procrustean bed for the cd release this coming week, the new Richard Egarr playing music by Frescobaldi, Louis Couperin, Handel and Bach. He used my temperament as a BCW page purporting to be performed with awed solemnity by some high priestess of the th century turn their backs on equal temperament for Bümler in Ansbach there is a real difference to the Memento mori recording of the Goldberg Variations are ceasing to be interviewed on the page. But all of which, somehow as part of what seems like different timbre, different resonance etc. might actually be traceable to other factors. A live lecture-demonstration might help, though. >
I can't hear any difference in the performance arts its a matter of 'feel' which is difficult to describe, especially after all these years--the only words I can certainly vouch that it does. Some years ago I was picking i.a. the last decade, or so, it has now been established to be), and the fughetta of Var. , to match the first beat of the instrument. (I've played on quilled harpsichords too myself, and concur about those musical advantages: but mine have the more usual plastic.)

A Piece of Thing: a novel

2012-01-27T06:35:00.001-07:00

This is the tragic story of Albert.

He heard the scratch unknown. He stuck a bit more. off it. It alone might be could try to little. Maybe his you out? And face. The good Albert, he whispered, had likely pressed foot-prints, so unless could manage it. slab: a Jane hadn't slept a a sneer than David Thoreau said as his dream the upstairs, with closed up. It here, Albert?

Smooth, smooth, the back door. would still be need to ask. fingernail for that whom this story and clack of oOo oOo

Two hours a disquieting sort Hell if I pair of trees matched her smile there was any. and went for needed to get he still had get any more kid decided to could pull the the slam of busi-ness. As it his bloodstream.

Conceptual novelization is the literature where the idea of the novel is the novel. The conception is at once the origin and the end result. As such, conceptual novelization exists at the exact point where writer and audience meet, making it the most transparent of genres. At its best it works the way telepathy does, creating instant and perfect communication between writer and reader (or “thinker”). Conceptual novelization is the only writing that expresses, through direct appropriation or other means, the pure and unadulterated idea of itself. Todd Van Buskirk is interested appropriation because he works two jobs. He has adapted to a way of making art that takes less time and less thought so he can balance his life between employment and personal existence. He had to put the “corporation first” over his artistic fulfillment. As composer Charles Ives wrote, “I can’t feed my family on dissonances.” Van Buskirk’s economic reality informs his art. Working over 60 hours a week dictates how he works on art. Out of necessity Van Buskirk’s work schedule turned him into a conceptual artist. Van Buskirk says, “Two jobs are so demanding that it’s easier to THINK about art than do art.”

A Piece of Thing

Pulse of Serenity: A Star Trek Adventure by Todd Van Buskirk

2012-01-24T16:33:00.001-07:00

Free book!

Todd Van Buskirk’s latest sci-fi epic, “Pulse of Serenity,” is a Star Trek adventure, completely appropriated from a fan-fiction novel found on fanfiction.net. Van Buskirk took all 50,000 words and performed a simple remix, creating a post-conceptual mind-meld.

A skeleton crew is assembled aboard the Enterprise, on a dangerous mission to the outer limits of time and space, to eradicate a virus infecting the foundation of all energy and matter. Their mission is to save the universe by accomplishing the undoing of Einstein’s infamous E=MC2. Spock’s mind-meld power is the key to the mission’s success, but can Spock process the subjectivity of the virus? The answer lies in the “Pulse of Serenity.”

Pulse of Serenity: A Star Trek Adventure
Excerpt:

"And my part in all of this?" asked Spock.
"There is so much to explain but a meld would give you the certainty you crave. Some of the memories are those that Sonak himself shared with me because he experienced those memories in Amanda's mind before T'Pau changed things. I give you my word, as your father's friend, that I will honour any memory that I touch upon in a meld and will not reveal it," Rouq'al said solemnly and looked into the younger Vulcan's dark eyes.
"I do not doubt you, Rouq'al, then let us meld because it is a two way communication."
"Indeed, Spock, and you are an honour to your father's respect for the truth. Please you may enter my mind and then I will guide you to the specific memory of the pledge T'Pau made," the older man replied and leaned forward to prepare for Spock to initiate the meld.
Spock felt the warmth and respect for him, as an individual, as he entered Rouq'al's mind and then Rouq'al led Spock down into his own memory of the events that led to an agreement over sixty years before. For Spock it was like being an an animated group," the engine apart but uBekaul reached for the meld points as the other three guards held her down because she was struggling so much…Then they all suddenly fell down, all at the same time," he finished, still in shock at what he had seen.
"How?" T'Pau repeated not taking her eyes off T'Curani.
"I screamed in have a purpose find their assumptions have faced opposition that it has the reputah the Federation…"
"Bulittle mannerisms are hip was closed down and prefer a tried and tesion won't bother to try and persuade them differention in the library tapare correct about the wagreement with the big every thing was kept behind closed doors for family eyes only, and it all seemed very low key compared with volatile Human tempers. Fortunately, there had not been many displays of temper amongst the Enterprise group so far, perhaps because they were a mature group of people and most already nd Lieutenant Commandernhabitable planet of thRouq'al suddenly said.
"I don't think that you were really involved in that decision. It was Sonak who thought that it would get T'Pau in a good mood and he could use it as a bargaining chip but, from your memories, he'd not thought out a plan."
"Not at all, neither of us had a plan of action and the events took their own path. We had not anticipated Amanda's emotional response and the way she challenged T'Pau…She was quite fearless," replied Rouq'al with some admiration in his voice.
"She retained some of that feistiness but I think the mind meld changed her. I believe that it calmed her and she only ever appeared devoted to Sarek in what I saw of their relationship. No one ever spoke about Sonak in the family and there are no photographs of him anywhere in the Federation records despite his fame," explained Spock.
"That doesn't surprise me, T'Pau never really liked Sonak because he would stand up to her…But she had said that he was exiled and would be effectively dead to her."
"Yes, I remember when I was ten that there was an official announcement when T'Pau stated that she could no longer feel his life force."
"The carried out specified I couldn't find the code to open this door and it defeated the expertise of Vonlen and T'Fillenza."
"Well I'll try," said Kirk but the keypad did not respond to his genetic scan. "I've no idea what Scotty and Spock have been doing in that area…I'll speak with Spock later," he the planet gives the days to Kirk stated.
"It willonds but what really shher insistence that we are here to speak with you. Had circumstances, beyond our control, not have occurred then we probably would not have troubled you and your officers. However, Sydel and Kever experienced a natural bonding and my own orders have had to take this into account."
The Enterprise officers smooth running of their organisation. We may be wrassigned to Cargo of the ship specialists, but you d."
Sydel nodded and felt rather honoured that Keis is our Chief Experimental Engineer and has modi partners."
"That is good news but of course you e come and sit and let us prepare ourselves for whly pressed his case oncheavy fines. It n explosion but she wile display screen.
"Whe, who are not their bonture of the soil was correct for the sweet potatoeames of chess and tedigfather is Sonak elf worthy of the command of the Enterprise. Now af the Vulcan Space ServHe was explaining thesere the wished for heir that T'Pau desired. But I sfuel and time ressing for his friend.ship.
Meanwhile, back on up of green china tea by end of the Federation and benefits from that poshim transform in eject you, Spock, as I danger to this ou will be in much demais here so he surviving engineerinthat Claydis pilots Amanda's bargaining powly stripped it down so twinkle in his dark eyem here. However, gentlemen, the pleasure is mine b really set in for a feSpock.
"My apologies, Spock, for seeming to ignore you, that was not my intention, but there were more pressing matters," the Admiral said and Spock gave a grave nod in acceptance.
"I would like to say that it is my sincere wish that you will find contentment amongst us on Sheshanu. I ve. We are both fortunaon who you amaze him that and his friends ch member of the Enterpyou wished to make that journey."
"Where's Kever? towards her. When he bwere very affected Babel Conference where son was amongst detection. He had can have our far the Enterprise the scene. Sydel had tolerated a lot of psychic and physical abuse. Their baby died and he never forgave her."
Ullan nodded, "She has shared those memories with me but Kever would never treat her in such an appalling manner. We Sheshanuans would not sanction such an abuse of a bonding would not be a disappointment to his father.
Spoare rumours of or every crew member based on their present systemst batch of crew," McCoy softly said.
"In what wak softly and Rouq'al gave him a searching look andd trying to control.
The older man came and placeor several bombs, is a fascinating ip's crew have been tal the Vulcan Healers hav the situation.
"Hang carefully invested mighlled Britari. Suddenly called to Rouq'al's anise the housing and o work but Mr. Scott is disband. I can Space Service…so why arlude them in decisions.choice for the a starship but a pattern that meet his staff and shawere only Debbie on the very ought of the annual 'DaVulcan men away from hochefs will feel risk being revealed. "Just what have you hidnak. Kirk found himselfat close hand. couples who were fleeing the archaic bonding syste tapped the red, pink ah ease but there was andetection. He had clear atoll area …so sudden. Good had received new Sonak said surprised as he viewed man. When younger at T'Fillenza's features us experienced pilotssharing their table.
Spock like a normal give me and my part in shared with him. It was disconcerting to look upoHuman enclave. Ullan told them of how he had strugbecause they contained your yacht, just ct of the obvious complSonak began to down as indicated ship between Kaliska, be sensible," replied can appreciate that, ty and will be used for both passengers and crew ton and they really wereto soften the all," Sonak answered in retaliation at T'Pau's disy black desks around the outside of the room and ohas done this to them amonitoring the life dly.
"Yes, isn't it, bwhy Rouq'al had two nurses, Daisy with an acrid quality; les, that you are both friends of my son," the oldbeen an incident… some would not respond igsaw of changing times. The Star Fleet I had joinwatched the figure to this escape Scott but Kirk ious of Star Fleet. Sydthat will not stop us sspeak with people she raised Sarek."
"Look, I'm this baby's mother ment that we want Star Fleet to have these revolutthe logical thing Sydel and the already in steady ould see that we could and the Terrans ficers observed the flaexperience at Star Fleeven encouraged them to your ship, they and they had red.
"Perhaps, or thatof Sheshanu and raised on this battle field.
"What do you really tain the estate where tto the large you're plotting forget nlen.
"Good, and you Kever?" Millanus turned his ily groups, or women wisen to take over this rendezvous I do not understathe Spock, Scotty eady occurred. I suppose it can be viewed from afaho gets the positions, oor first bonding but were released by the early dnce of Life' where theyled the office again.
he time to do it. On a normal mission, with a fullt be careful in this matter, the Terrans are very Rouq'al had assured hiwithout running a servilead his two nurses, Daoftware.
""I was not aate sabotage but we don't know when or what the se tentatively of the couple.
They looked up with dvited.
"A most pleasanI am assured we will be the Federation was concTholians and they almos off his computer and dfears that had Ullan replied and his dark eyes twinkled and thenthe rules. We didn't lilisten to your help to those no interference. I waspost when four of its rall how close g of identity discs witwill care for d alone on the main obshad done so do you really s seems a very happy shgave Kirk a searching ld ever entered into Sponsporter range and will then be able to transport Experimental Engineer was rak. T'Pau you cannot shand to oversee the shu a self-confident offic you. In this case, Rouq'al was grateful for the fwill not be crew were reacting the young Spock taking his craft re was a strong possibility that Sonak would travetime and withdrew the bondmate of pened to be on. This th be helpful in their restrained way," commented Mcign of tampering.
"We want… a family alked into a room despite being such a tiny femalewe came into contact with a very hostile race who called themselves the Tholians and they almost killed us…I just can't imagine that they would want to interact with the Federation…"
"But we sent a very detailed report to Star Fleet Command, including the entire sensor recordings of the incident, Captain," Spock said quietly.
"Aye…and what if the computer people at Command decided to experiment with all that data we gave them…" Scotty warmed to the subject.
"The deciphering of that Tholian computer language could mean it could be used to hide detailed commands within any ship's systems. Just think, a star ship mainly relies upon its main frame computer and all its backup systems for everything right down to recycling the air and cleansing the water supply. That's why Engineering deliberately has an independent computer for its section, to prevent a whole ship being totally dependent on the main frame one…but my section's computer looks as if it's been contaminated by this covert programming."
"Can we decipher the code of this virus?" Kirk asked.
"Unknown and we cannot risk jeopardising innocent passengers and crew trying to second guess what has been programmed into the computer systems using this Tholian language," cautioned Spock.
"We should tell Vulcan officer where evdirty dealings behind closed doors between them anfirst name.
"It was to the extent that she will believe Sarek is the facknowledged her as That is the best scenarand Chekov discussing was probably Rouq'al's tion News 24 station. Ieard many dark mutterinistening throng.
Millanus looked up as he sensed s home planet, because ct, the very word held the contact with to close and us had a plan of action and the events took their own path. We had not anticipated Amanda's emotional response and the way she challenged T'Pau…She was quite fearless," replied Rouq'al with some admiration in his voice.
"She retained some of that feistiness but I think the mind meld changed her. Master Pilot," Tom than the safe upbringing of our child," she replied but kept the tone light and still smiled knowing that it would annoy the Vulcans with her vulgar display of unnecessary emotions.
Sonak gave her a penetrating stare, "I don't believe you…Don't interfere between T'Pau and myself over the position of this you to Cargo Bay 5. Wheand the Council bay doors were events that none obvious and another to sign up r who I'm sure will give you all the space to expeship was considered outill take you to your qut we sent a very detaileasily told a But, as I that but we women turned to from the probe monitoring the Enterprise. The pich Sarek and weave a new engine and refining inughts wandered down a dlittle bastards that passengers and crew or as Captain Fleet that I " Sydel admitted to Spos…Good, of course, we wa warmth.
"Sir…" began already open and u're right but I just malso the continuing cely other computer system until we are sure that it ful title. It could carand you still beat us?"e opportunity to seek uadets were used to takert by personally bringie early exploits of theney. Claydis does have the tendency to bury hersel we hope that we will be accepted," confided T'Vevr telling the whole of ut of favour with Star Vulcan and mixed so much for they made over the natural bonders. I have yet to of the sheer death of an events that led had received because steady things so en the studious cadet io-ordinates that they cq'al suddenly interject grow in the uncertain future that lay before him.as well as the Vulcan cver a meal discussing hispered Kirk as he saw his First Officer listeningst are we travelling?"
"Warp 11" Spock calmly repd he wondered just what could compensate for thosesilence filled the stand in her saw of their nce decks using the ventilation shafts and checkedll well and good. He aling room.
"Spock, are o. I have friends who lnd Nogura's nepotism.
n was genuine. There woand medical technician, in shared meals ormed a protective shiet do not even know whatMcCoy smile sadly loss of life ey have had the craft in pieces since you started with the long just can't remember at the moment. I want to run Healers were wise, privacy, ran true involved from the of the word. ticipate any health pro of the last time he saw T'Pau, and the agreement I was there staring at her, o be 'relaxed' Vulcans. They still followed the bathey were outsiders of space, of a once famous and treasured starship.ly, one that T'Pau would want… a family of girls!"and bewildering emotions to the planet t, medicines and medica that the area has been tampered with, especially safe," the Admiral officers also wanted Kirk watched the being about Spock wrist to speak don't know if child. Such things weretriangular leaf design and not just Brienne, who was shown to be eager to go on a boabetter life on e way along the secondary back up systems," Scott Association was absorbed to the Federation ewton survivors is thatEnterprise was to Come, let us go to theut eventually Rouq'al stepped back.
"Come, Motherwould not murder to me. I am honoured tho do."
"Ah, you are boeasy for Star Fleet Command to say that the ships community. It seemed have been far teased.
"Yes…Like I said, Kirk found his voice fimposing silver veined Kever, and we can speaking in such an open manner was not normalauthority.
"All moving steadily the Federation had Pulse of Serenity. emotions of those alked into a room despite being such a tiny femalek hair and beard were tinged with grey but he lookatisfy thirst. Hopefully those in the life pods wocrossed the vastness I have found d the payment for logging your route within Federatain's cabin was over and that suited the First Ofe vegetables in this layour yacht, just said McCoy brightly to e and stopped Sheshanu'me the place where dissressed since Surak's time and the history that youand the passengers ogether in the dining rand physical abuse. she had 'crossed the ltures are very clear but he asked me when it wouldheck the maintenance re…a distant milk run bec did not until Rouq'al shared his memories with meno more, although e beginning of the missfered. We are obviouslybe the loss ere trying very hard to support and reassure the H I must explain that natural bonding has been suppexcept Sydel who, more.
T'Pau stood before introduce my present with my duties…You hearts labouring as the oxygen levels fell.
They e we enjoy watching theanet for many a millennbrought together as answers and not half-truths. He then watched Sydes that were like a tinydo not feel it is my place to speak of matters that others were personally party to and you can receive the truth at first hand."
"You say that Admiral Rouq'al has already brought the 'Pulse of Serenity' early and lies waiting to help if need be?" Kirk pressed on to return to the more important concern, "We need to do a regular and systematic check of the whole of this ship."
"Exactly, Captain, we have been checking… But, as I said, so far we have not found any indication that your essential life systems are not working properly or signs that they have been tampered with." Millanus assured.
"Well I'm going to do my own check on the engineering systems," Scotty spoke up, "I know my bairns and I want to make sure no one has interfered with them."
Millanus and Kever looked a little puzzled, but then Kever's features eased, "Ah, by bairns… you mean your engines…Good, of course, we will help with our own expertise if need be…" Kever suddenly said and Spock nodded and turned to Sydel,
"You explained to your bondmate through your bonding," Spock stated to explain to the humans at the table.
Sydel nodded, "I can assure my fellow on a skeleton crew, orld. Spock sat calmly inOutposters acts as a 'pilot' to help them navigate the anomalies in our space. They call their ship The Phoenix and carried 10 couples on their last journey along with some fancy goods the women wanted. Those left behind are engaged in their own endeavours and three women have set in asylums where your for the once shops that have opened within the enclave attractduties for the e is a large universityto be a fly on the wallental design for a smalthe view didn't disappoint the Vulcan. She was cape was something familiar about the voice but she cT'Curani stared at a personal pronoun etection. He had thoughthat could be himself shared with requent... It would benhad just finished saw the Humans away from Vulcan, liska? It seems a strane that she is being accused of tampering with histthe main lounge as a friend y the whore of my son, who already has a legal andn you'd be turning up,"were fascinated as detects a pattern in an interrupted electronic pulse down there."
Kirk stared at her realising that she was relaying a conversation that she was having in her mind.
"It is normal for bondmates, Captain. I can be in communication with mine at any time unless he is sick, then his body would Spock challenged knowing that the meld would reveaaid, the only real probwould act in such a manner.}
{Spock if you think initially been his w, immediate 'Protocol "
"Our races are not shere in the Federation. Perhaps he will consider mhat is so very important that I am to be stopped iNewton survivors is You might even rush of pain 's wife and his half sika was a planet to stop
The crew of starships engineer then a Captainto doubt Kever, as he chewed and turnedhad witnessed.
A heavy s a great beauty in her youth but that did not sitones that just set up a go and see the contact with turned to the spered.
"I'm not plottt to rescue all the life pods, Captain Kirk, and tbut family and friends finer goods the Enterprise crew to tate and spoke to put them at ease.
"Please be sescenario but we rare mental illness, she is now a childless widow,age carts that will be tion is to give both T'Curani and Rouq'al safe pasdark eyes and instinctively felt that this evacuatexplaining these to at of serious brooding if they knew inside of me and I, have left Vulcan thought that it was a humans. The Admiral show their solidarity for T'Curani? The logical acreplied the commanding towering figure that was sua fixed charge for the passengers that was set by the Sheshanuan Council but the Phoenix is allowed to keep the fare and we receive another fixed sum by the Council for every passenger we carry. We feel we have a purpose and are contributing to the planet that has now become our home. It's not idyllic and the winters are harsh but no one has wanted to return to the Federation. We enjoy the pioneering spirit that we have to use but we don't feel like second class citizens either; we survivors have a representative in the Council and the Healers are eager to learn and help. Healer Ullan is delighted that you have survived Doctor McCoy and I know our little enclave will feel happier too, despite the wonderful efforts of the Healers it's not like having a human doctor."

- Todd Van Buskirk

Self Portrait Continued: a novel

2012-01-24T05:27:00.001-07:00

Conceptual novelization is the literature where the idea of the novel is the novel. The conception is at once the origin and the end result. As such, conceptual novelization exists at the exact point where writer and audience meet, making it the most transparent of genres. At its best it works the way telepathy does, creating instant and perfect communication between writer and reader (or “thinker”). Conceptual novelization is the only writing that expresses, through direct appropriation or other means, the pure and unadulterated idea of itself.

Todd Van Buskirk is interested appropriation because he works two jobs. He has adapted to a way of making art that takes less time and less thought so he can balance his life between employment and personal existence. He had to put the “corporation first” over his artistic fulfillment. As composer Charles Ives wrote, “I can’t feed my family on dissonances.” Van Buskirk’s economic reality informs his art. Working over 60 hours a week dictates how he works on art. Out of necessity Van Buskirk’s work schedule turned him into a conceptual artist. Van Buskirk says, “Two jobs are so demanding that it’s easier to THINK about art than do art.”

This novel is a rearrangement of a favorite screenplay of the author, with names and places changed as needed, to describe the inner workings of the subjective mind, while watching a movie.

Self Portrait Continued
Excerpt:

August 8, 1991
48. 71. INT. HALLWAY BELOW THE TRAILER - PICTURE We watch from a conspiratorial giggle over one hand and beyond her badly. Leo holds her. She walks into hell. 195. INT. VAN BUSKIRK HOUSE - LATER Both nod to ROCHELLE I haven't touched a woman named Hennepin, Nicollet, Marquette. CLIFF Maybe I love it. I didn't see you? My god, I showed him. CABLE Now, J. Edgar doin'? ED (moving around, trying to it? DOC VAN BUSKIRK (after a tear in the dance floor. Teetering she was fresh ground coffee cup. ROCHELLE Do you one found those splinters without a big bag around the night you get the counter. The red neon letters: "PARTYLAND" CONTINUED: JOSIE Fish eyes? VAN BUSKIRKs eyes widen, terrified with distorted smiles. God stares into the arm) We have to you. GOD'S VOICE I got the ground. He looked down the body anywhere. MORTEN (confused and the SPACE The fan then Winkels walks off. Cable is pinching) Did you can start to its glory. On screen it out of your homework? GOD (subtitled) Thus time though. Ask Irene comes by grabbing him the tree in my picture?... Okay, come and Rochelle goes out the girls' SPACE. Stay on the picture. 95. EXT. HIGHWAY 21 Slowly a lot staring at him, I just can't, James. It sure you're not let your hair that Rochelle stumbles and he tosses the Rochester where did you a pinecone. They are you have our way, don't we, Agent Winkels? (motioning to the picture on Rochelle. DISSOLVE TO: 111. INT. HALLWAY BELOW THE DOORWAY OF TROPHY CASE - DAY SHERIFF CABLE Well, honey, you can I guess it was here. STANLEY I'll sit quietly. (coming back of her around. Under a chair facing him. CABLE How interesting. I better dust this what I better hurry up and with pleasure) Oh, Rochelle's left arm, but notice a terrible slap. GOD It's for a nerve. I slipped and Stanley zips up from her private diary, Harold. Her clock on earth. ROCHELLE James... ROCHELLE (studies Rochelle) I'm sorry. ROCHELLE Sit down... sit down, but no one thing: Judy is wearing had a case has noticed a look. The friend who is doing out her mouth. She pretends to yell, but everything. WINKELS (continued) scrub the body of coffee from Winkels) There on a magician's handkerchief. With Rochelle turns the party starts towards the darkness the window and puts it was your help, Carl. Sorry we did. It takes a dream. JOHNNY Happy Birthday, Johnny. JAMES See what? There's no one seems to the floor a glimpse of the trailer court one here. HAROLD What do something to bed. ON THE VAN BUSKIRK. JACK (continued) How are going to her? JEFFRIES They are you desperate, baby? INTERCUT WITH: 188. INT. VAN BUSKIRK the Norwegians. (more) (CONTINUED) **
August 8, 1991
60. 91. 145. CONTINUED: (small smile) Because God starts to her. She gives him hard and shows his smile walks off. Shelly comes out a clown. Winkels guides his rear view mirror. The Great Went". Buck dances around to her SPACE - NIGHT Sheriff Cable is she left by Cliff tries to see _ROCHELLE/ROCHELLE'S_RING_ on Wheels". ED You always hurt the Diner with the bike's horn. After a regulation body is what happened to hustle to come in. 177. EXT. PHILADELPHIA PUBLIC LIBRARY - LATER A turkey dog bounds about. 138. EXT. VAN BUSKIRK, MEET YOU SAID, ROCHELLE? GOD Babe, I'm in that body back into his gun. BANG!! God stares at the kitchen. He bangs on the night. SARAH They walk to give Rochelle stops Stanley rides along way in and he stands in the last week. You made the brings over the Norwegians. SARAH (continued) And I heard a GOD DAMN NEAR TWO very dreamy) He stands and becomes preoccupied with his pajamas, lies on the screen Jeffries walks over to be like breathing. The static begins to Jim's office, furniture included, is dark blur. ROCHELLE (she sighs to Rochelle. They both begin to get the day with his hand is reading aloud to the prospects of pain. LUCY'S VOICE That's not very small reception area. At the noise. The glass protecting it. AT WINKELS'S CAR - leaving Mrs. Tremond's grandson is seeing Rochelle reaches up to stop sign hangs up from here at this deer like to see the stairs towards the woods. We throw away from J. Edgar, I'm your stay here any coffee, Eddie. Nadine dives toward Rochelle changes directions. Mike could ever need a steel bar away. Rochelle Van Buskirk is like this. He divides. One who looks at Johnny's party starts the intercom. The girls shudder in from her knees, out a look and runs to raise someone else did it easy. Rochelle Van Buskirk. She is suddenly looks at him. (after a long swig and do it. But it with the red neon letters: "PARTYLAND" CONTINUED: (2) Laughingly, Rochelle now sticking to the party with an awful lot around the van back to be there. He answers the Deputy's eyes off again. He knows how to face. IN HER SPACE to see a stop. Several big clown laugh. Rochelle is doing calling from school. Rochelle Van Buskirk was murdered? IRENE No. GOD'S VOICE CAN'T HAVE ME. (to camera) Don't tie Rochelle runs back of the party with her? ROCHELLE AND ROCHELLE (smiling her ring in unison. IRENE No. ROCHELLE Where's my ass! Santa Maria, where did you get the Norwegians. SARAH Rochelle at the cold on the white horse in her arms back. ROCHELLE I'm gonna get the Blue Rose cases. The name is in front window. No answer - NIGHT Rochelle stumbles outside. He swings in the fan. She asked too dumb to their names were? ROCHELLE (continued) PHILLIP, LET'S CALM DOWN AND SARAH'S BEDSPACE - NIGHT Rochelle/God lowers the Bible) Robert, put it pulls out of morning sound is burning. 218. EXT. VAN BUSKIRK ENTERS THE CAR - INTERCUT WITH: 188. INT. THE SCENE. Gerard arrives at Rochelle crush Rochelle pulls her. She closes the van back to Stanley zips up some more. Sarah and saw him the Man From Another Place puts it is, then more. Sarah and even asked too adorable... ROCHELLE Dad, are you can hear you get out of a good eye and they all this, I love me right over his nose, appears just behind her left foot. VAN BUSKIRK and have our homework. ROCHELLE You lied to see her a woman and loosened his pockets for the picture) She answers the other hand and hangs announcing in my badge, here. Do you doing? VAN BUSKIRK starts the fan ominously whirls in on the house? How do a Heimlich maneuver. I shot from the picture of shorthand. GOD Oh, Rochelle's portrait in the best friend? Rochelle begins to rev his eyes. JEFFRIES (embarrassed) Dad. WINKELS ROCHELLE But I never sit in silence for the dark on a moment, with VAN BUSKIRK stares into a look, then you're not saying Blue Diamond City Motel... Yes, that's what in the wall that she moves her hand. As Winkels and Stanley says this deer like a great explorers were found the head straining to do. 197. EXT. MORGUE - SAME Rochelle points to check that. I mean... I'm gone... long hike Bernie has gone ice cold. (turning back) That's not the Federal Bureau of the counter and on the hell to get the window of us to be like this country. For a country road. We see each other's eyes. JEFFRIES May? 1989? CLOSEUP: ROCHELLE School? WINKELS Ever see the trailer? (flat) God... ssshhhh... you ever kill me? ED STANLEY Solved the window and notices. ED You know, I changed your fucking caring. He was that? ROCHELLE Oh god, that obviously must be exact. Leo puts it easy. Rochelle starts for Bernie. MORTEN HE'S GONE FOR YOU, CHET. WINKELS (still smiling) Oh. Stanley studies her seat. STANLEY (continued) Yes... INTERCUT WITH: ROCHELLE Rochelle Van Buskirk. Rochelle gets it. AT THE SCENE. Gerard reaches out to the SPACE The trees... the trailer. VAN BUSKIRK body into a fifty with another yodel. The corridor is amazed to be exact. Leo looks again over and gets out. He was murdered? IRENE comes up from the God Lady touches it, VAN BUSKIRK body back and leans in white water and a while. Winkels and washes her milk Rochelle comes here, Sheriff Cable. Cliff get here to page one of a stop. JOHNNY Happy Birthday, Johnny. ROCHELLE You know you haven't got a woman and Sarah sees a while the bourbon) Let me about? God and paranoia) What the side of the Deputy's eyes to hustle to the van with some bushes and the SPACE Rochelle goes to oblivion. Rochelle and that was looking for that body back to a line. The operative word association. The trees... the roast beef have visitors? GOD (whispers) Are you mean? GOD BRIGGS HOUSE Rochelle Van Buskirk is beckoning us to catch up there. VAN BUSKIRK HOUSE, LIVING SPACE - DAY Winkels and lifts Rochelle drifts off. Shelly gathers up and Rochelle. ROCHELLE James... Yes, it's okay with him. Oh, quit crying. The SPACE - DAY Rochelle looks like this... (CONTINUED) **

- Todd Van Buskirk

I am My Left Ear: a new novel!

2012-01-22T09:37:00.001-07:00

Free PDF will be posted soon...

Excerpt:

Art, modern art, says; "You know, Epstein, Childe Hassam, yet. Some of Irving Berlin." So and I wanted was wonderful. It with Abraham Walkowitz, this was to It has been get me out. teacher was proud and that's where appear somewhere," and relationship with the we have to Siberia. And he or something. Maybe to become a was a kid, in the public Bliss, William Merritt in their sleep, domain and may Smithsonian Institution
For more remember my father. Independent Artists; thoughts Interview

A transcript of and I was he had to Walkowitz papers, 1904-1969
Image was the only Baline. Not Berlin. And so they came there to and that's where him know that thinking of all had a maid, are very much old, not quite then, what happened what can I long time. Once there, you see, Descending a Staircase; the Canteen and do here, Walky, there singing, and that name, you to sing, I would be much there, you see, was a very said, "Sure, come cleaned off. So Independent Artists; thoughts during the Second Davies, Walt Kuhn, don't remember too was I born?

AL:No, 1958 Dec. 8 York, N.Y.

This interview those things. It .

AL:How old were Not the girls, the other one especially the roles is, to those become an artist? on." So I Until I walked And so they ask you the see his office, So I says, not why you you?

AW:No, not too was fantastic. I died not long he said, "Here's Cezanne's death; meeting earliest memories even here to contact old, I said, him my card, my two sisters, much.

AL:Did you go Rabbi. He was soon, in five born?

AW:I was born "I'd just like the same place I was born. and said, "I I was 81 Alliance is, at I had a dancer Isadora Duncan; is good, but he brought over in a conference. I said to one died, and The Eight, Jacob it's a good the young Jewish at the Julius I said, "Hello, reactions to Nude schooling in art Irving Berlin's father. ago, and I I was, in were rich people died not long China, he sort in a conference. an old friend you know what I didn't even his music was. and I looked very busy, I he was busy, myself known?" So that's all, that's explain what Judaism cleaned off. So to Use this remember.

AL:Where were you he didn't want same place where possible because you that's all, that's gone. It was is no record names. And then was a kid, him up to mother made me but the boys.

BC:Mr. that you don't here." They said, they were born can't correct yourself Lerner
AW:Abraham Walkowitz
BC:Bartlett Cowdrey

AL:Well, second night. So to them what a scholar. And in 1958 to stood in the through interviews with know what it excerpts must be when I was is, to those we have to in Jewish)" And got mostly a with Abraham Walkowitz, that name, you one of the white I am when you came and I wanted mother and two who was a know." She said going out," he cited as follows: mother made me had a maid, artist from Siberia, the Journal (American) if he didn't got time, my I have known this interview appears most pertinent question.

AW:Why So they knew Oral history interview during the Second become an artist?

AW:A basement. So I school?

AW:Not very much. especially the roles was born in he was a followed him and he sang a go down." So his work; his know, that's the and I was school?

AW:I hardly even the Archives’ resources, I have to a singer.

AW:Yes, so of the family. born?

AW:I was born know in those not made.

AL:Well, what good draftsman, the 100 Portraits; Paul "I'd just like those things. It explained to him. attempt," and I Gallery; Steiglitz and spirit. When I with you." He busy, I gotta not interested.

AW:I am corridor where the to Use this never spoke Jewish; recalls are Lizzie you when you And so Irving his 291 Gallery; be used without of me.

BC:What school Oral history interview beyond.

AW:I don't remember to Walkowitz, Abraham
Interview in the government along." In the and so on. song writer, not "You're Irving Berlin, all about you, interested in your from Siberia, born Walkowitz, we would I don't know on the stage the Club, and about yourself.

AW:Since I the sort. But permission. Quotes and and Walter Pach; and second, you a publishing house. 1958
Interviewers: Abram Lerner is part of learn Jewish here.

AL:Well private school. We where the Educational I don't want you get any arts in the I says, "You Chase, Kenyon Cox, sick once, measles walked in, I you said.

AW:No, I in order to saw of him. in order to school?

AW:I hardly even & 22, Archives I stopped you, I kept thinking, Moishe Balin's son," in school I become an artist.

AL:You cited as follows: or anything of used to draw.

AL:You Haas Gallery, New do here, Walky, the floors and And he was sisters. My sisters better. So then was much disappointed.

AL:Well, long time. Once connection? People talk A;:He was evidently at the Julius There was a going on 82; in Siberia. The 1958
Interviewers: Abram Lerner this tape to relationship with the was 12 years the things he document the history park is now. going out," he So a month will you please Smithsonian Institution.

ORAL HISTORY about yourself.

AW:Since I connection? People talk I suppose I "I'll make another And he was other collections related and forgot about he is busy. art versus bad at all." And saw of him. Mr. Irving Berlin; am Walkowitz, the Artists of Walkowitz: started to work, good and you doing here?" "I'm Irving Berlin was other words. Did I said, "(spoken religion is, and saw him; "I'm there, you see.

AL:Did the Canteen and a little boy, Note: Painter; New went to China know, he had place, I haven't I talk if he had to it is simple in Siberia. The childhood and tell large family?

AW:There were waited for Irving the people appeared, by and I at the photographs Chrystie Street. They old, I said, if he didn't come there and appear somewhere," and a singer.

AW:Yes, so him in a have to go the same place well, there's a a publishing house. "All right, I'll is there for all about you, Russian, and I see how it He says, "I'm and my mother and I said, other words. Did come there and this tape to Baline. Not Berlin. by and I and he was from there. So us a little "You're Irving Berlin, and he says, I had a Rabbi. He was had to do attempt," and I a dead cat. where the Educational excerpts must be about five years well, there's a as you." Quickly, of three or the feeling that there singing, and was born in street, we were what are you blocks have been critics and others.

How walked in, I of American Art, know in those took us two can do anything got time, my sell newspapers.a sort of become an artist? Jewish. So he I said, "Hello, in the Archives

Abraham knew him as you get any are interested in Russian, and I everything, you see. second night. So sing it it destroyed.

AL:Oh yes, near So he said, finished the conference, destroyed, so there on criticism of corridor where the primarily what we a man from his music was. was much disappointed.

AL:Well, mother and two went to school, the importance in know, that's the Alliance is, at just had to on criticism of artists in Europe; of the visual and patrons; good everything, you see. most pertinent question.

AW:Why you have a can I make to Walkowitz, Abraham
Interview the floors and me. So I a few blocks announce Irving Berlin. Walkowitz discusses his probably didn't know. you want to It has been INTERVIEW WITH
ABRAHAM WALKOWITZ
December Walkowitz, we would away as children. he said, "I'm His name is private school. We At home I announce Irving Berlin. Jewish. So he I suppose it's the beginning I were born, but third time. First what made you of American Art, near the door, other collections related the Journal (American) and patrons; good sick once, measles when I heard remember myself as in the public it was in music critic so to the United this interview appears his 1908 exhibition to draw with about twenty minutes, and second, you had to go the people appeared, so discouraged, I were born, but do to make to fool them, youth, you know. Among others he and two other the sort. But he was a then, what happened him up to what it is, I talk if was a very started to work, song writer, not or Ask Us.
Also (born) . . had to do in the Archives

Abraham so discouraged, I thinking of all know what it schooling in art tell him I critic Peyton Boswell; & 22, Archives His name is were very young, interested in your I said to cited as follows: possible because you and he came father. He died there, and looked was I born?

AL:No, to see you see me, write didn't know anything, said, "Sure, come copies from pictures.

AL:Did it was the him since a art schools, students they were born his work of of became a & Bartlett Cowdrey

AL:Abram States with my country?

AW:Eight or nine. back to your the things he World War. You recalls are Lizzie World War. You spirit. When I later I pass And I waited and I said, went to school, a couple of have to go What he sings you have a am Walkowitz, the it's a good explained to them took us two get a pack wait." She gave see his office, Artists of Walkowitz: when I was I don't see? and said, "I see me, write as that. You at them, and publishing house." You Israel, the Jewish and I come school?

AW:Not very much. Siberia. And he went to China at the Haas sisters. My sisters can't see, I I was young, permission. Quotes and here." They said, artist from Siberia, destroyed, so there followed him and "No, he's not can do anything earliest memories even is to be door, in the came there to or Ask Us.
Also States with my in the musical he didn't want a dead cat. used to draw finished the conference, you draw in What he sings dancer Isadora Duncan; in black and street, we were know, he had the moment.

AW:That block be used without ordered him to he sang like Not the girls, and a half so she had to the United And he appeared why; I was while you were I don't want to the United Bliss, William Merritt waited for Irving always drew, in go down." So 8 & 22, had to do says; "You know, I had to something. And I (born) . . ordered him to teacher was proud are born and the Society of the Archives' Oral in the government them all. He good and you what are you much of my him, "You know, you know.

BC:Well, we know." She said childhood and schooling; you know what artists, historians, dealers, going on 82; many years. Then Now I tell I says, "You the young Jewish How did you I kept thinking, are very much know, not meeting there, you see.

AL:Did chalk, all over or not used him in a to draw with the last I Smithsonian Institution.

ORAL HISTORY to become a him, Irving Berlin, the feeling that Berlin's father I remember myself as he comes out, in. And I explained to him. I said, "(spoken same place where to them what .

AL:How old were was there for saw the secretary, myself known?" So States?

AW:Well, I came legal person, and park is now. and he came Chrystie Street. They he wasn't there him since he The Eight, Jacob Irving Berlin." So and Walter Pach; gypsies and all the Society of with Abraham Walkowitz, I recognized him, or not used reason. How can is already long A;:He was evidently never spoke Jewish; reactions to Nude to fool them, from Siberia, born child. So I role of critics. led you to didn't know anything, tell him, "How my education. And he went to months to get want to see my name was to sing, I as informal as 100 Portraits; Paul chance to see know?

AW:You know artists There was a here. I remember chalk, all over of Arthur B. of cigarettes. So opinions on American the Armory Show, me. So I I said this. public school?

AW:Yes, a a little boy, much.

AL:Did you go artists in Europe; they took them as informal as stood in the himself. And I in. And I probably didn't know. will you please he said, "Come so on, they but the boys.

BC:Mr. primarily what we with tape it not why you his 291 Gallery; permission. Quotes and to, I'm going in the public domain and may are born and childhood and schooling; minutes." I stood in Russia? You and Georgia O'Keeffe.

Biographical/Historical York; getting Max How did you a sort of to, I'm going his work of "No, he's not not interested.

AW:I am Note: Painter; New my two sisters, had to do I was young, I recognized him, him since he get a pack was, I stood the last I much of Russia. do to make and made drawings. two years younger know?

AW:You know artists I told her It was just months to get to a Russian he is busy. got mostly a of American Art, of Claude Monet was wonderful. It so she had "All right, I'll And so Irving art versus bad go back much so he should are interested in always drew, in But the traveling thing I don't ALYou find the he said, "I'm know, not meeting document the history when I heard on." So I photographs were hung, yet. Some of Chase, Kenyon Cox, busy, I gotta At home I and she was I don't see? wealthy person. We China, he sort make me younger. at the photographs who didn't know

- Todd Van Buskirk

"X Files" Fan-Fiction, post-conceptual literature: "A Medieval Alice"

2012-01-20T18:48:00.001-07:00

Free book!

PDF below!

Appropriation novelist Todd Van Buskirk presents an X Files “Fan Fiction”—conceptual novel.

The original text is taken from an original “X Files” fan-fiction novel, 38,000 words, found on the internet. Todd Van Buskirk remixed the novel into his own fan-fiction novel. He also found a piece of “X Files” fan art for the cover illustration (for your full appropriation viewing pleasure).

A Medieval Alice

Nutley Copse: A Novel of Watership Down (in the manner of William S.Burroughs)

2012-01-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

Free book! PDF included below.

I first saw Watership Down in Mr. Farley's 5th grade class (c.1982). Our class had to finish all the assignments in order to watch it. Before the screening, Mr. Farley presented a paperback edition of Watership Down to the class. I saw the rabbit and the compass illustration on the cover. I couldn’t guess what I was about to see, except perhaps a rabbit. I had no idea what to expect, but was deep in the film when Mr. Farley suddenly turned it off—right at the moment Hazel gets shot—and said, “Tomorrow, the class has to finish more assignments to see the rest of the movie.” I remember striving to finish those assignments. After seeing Hazel get shot there was no way I was going to miss the second half. After the second screening, I was so overwhelmed by the movie, I asked Mr. Farley what he had done with the book. He had returned it to the school library, so that’s where I went after class, anxious to take it home. I started to read it every night, and found it’s deeper world. Opening the novel and reading the first sentence was a true opening into an organic world of sights, smells, and emotion. The images that went from Adams’ words to my head stayed with me all these years, as vivid as a dream.

As I read the novel, I started to sketch the Watership Down rabbits. It was difficult without a reference. The first memory I have of sketching the rabbits was on a trip to a bowling tournament. I had a mead notebook with a yellow cover, and sketched within the school bus surrounded by the noise of my bowling league. I brought the novel with me—that same library book—to read. In my notebook I drew scenes from the book, landscapes with rabbits. The rabbits were crudely drawn, but I wanted to lock down what I remembered about the film, which—in my mind and heart—had combined seamlessly with the novel. I remember reading the chapter called “Like Trees In November”, and the day was overcast and cold outside.

After reading the novel, I happened upon Mr. Farley’s desk one afternoon. I was alone in the classroom at the end of school, and walked to Mr. Farley’s desk, curious about the content of the drawers. I opened a drawer on the right side and saw a black rectangular object —a video cassette—marked “Watership Down” in ballpoint pen on a plain white label. I held the cassette in my hands, excited for the find. This was the same tape Mr. Farley had played for the class. I was holding on to an object that changed my life. I wanted it. I played with the idea of taking it home with me. I didn’t have a VCR, but I loved the thought of owning this movie, even if I couldn’t view it. I placed the cassette back in the drawer, sorry to put it away. My conscience wouldn’t let me steal it.

A little later (I wish I remembered the year) the Watership Down movie was on television for the first time, on the Showtime cable channel. My best friend, Tom, had access to the Showtime channel at his house (his dad worked for a cable company). To my great delight, I found small movie stills inside the Showtime viewing guide at his house. I tore out the pictures to use them as a reference for drawing the Watership Down characters. I was ecstatic to be reunited with Watership Down on Tom’s black and white television, in his basement. I wasn’t sure when I would be able to see it again so I did all I could to document the movie. I armed myself with a drawing pad and sketched the characters as I watched. I also laid a portable tape recorder next to the T.V. and recorded everything, making sure not to miss anything.

I listened to the movie as often as I could, especially in the night while in bed. The recording gave me an opportunity to visit that world anytime I wanted. Most of all, I liked hearing the music soundtrack in detail, and the music became a favorite element of the film. In junior high, I searched in the school library, and found a copy of Ronald Lockley’s The Private Life of the Rabbit (1964), the book mentioned by Adams on the dedication page of Watership Down. I studied Lockley’s book, and began to write a story using the world of Adams’ novel, inventing names for new characters. I introduced a March Hare named ‘Weed” (to use one embarrassing example). Basically, I used names from plants or nature for my characters (just like Richard Adams). I used Adams’ fictional rabbit-language but invented new rabbit-lingo of my own. I called my story Nutley Copse, the name of a place I found on a map inside the novel. Recreating my “own” Watership Down was an intimate way of communing with the real Watership Down and it’s world. I wrote the most of the story during a summer trip to the grandparent’s farm in Isle, Minn. At night, I listened to my cassettes of the movie in my sleeping bag. In the day, I drew Watership Down characters on a large drawing pad, using the thumbnail movie stills from the Showtime Guide. I especially liked drawing the confrontation between Bigwig and General Woundwort. Then, I would enter the world of Watership Down by working on my own rabbit story, lost in reverie.

The story was many pages long. The adventures I created with my rabbit characters became obsessive. I couldn’t stop thinking about this world of rabbits. The images in my mind where as clear as reality. Story scenarios played in my head, over and over again. I used my grandmother’s large garden as the setting for the big opening chapter, called “The Garden Raid.” My rabbit hero, Speed, leads the raid, but is distracted by a doe (female rabbit) and her offspring under attack from a big hunting dog. In the process of distracting the dog, Speed is shot by a hunter. Wounded, Speed manages to hide under a tree in Nutley Copse, where he runs into a stranger, a large March Hare named Weed. Weed attempts to save Speed from the oncoming dog by running towards the dog and distracting the dog away. Meanwhile, the hunter walks toward Speed laying in Nutley Copse. Speed plays dead as the hunter checks his body. The hunter leaves Speed for dead—his body is too torn up to eat—and calls the dog and heads home. Weed returns to his new friend. Over the next month, he feeds Speed back to health.

My plagiarism didn’t bother my conscience until I published the story in the school magazine, called The Rebel Reader. I gave copies to classmates and close friends. I expected praise for my efforts, and awe over my ideas, but instead was teased and chided over my lack of originality. The constant allegations of plagiarism stung me, and my foray into writing about rabbits came to a sudden end. Nowadays, I wish I still had a copy of my story, but unless I find a rare copy of the Rebel Reader from John Adams Middle School, I will never see the efforts of my blissful adventure again.

Instead, I appropriated the complete text of Watership Down, word for word, and simply rearranged the whole text, and titled it “Nutley Copse” in honor of my earliest efforts. Enjoy.Nutley Copse: a novel of Watership Down (William Burroughs style)

Patron X

2012-01-16T07:41:00.001-07:00

Todd Van Buskirk’s new novel “Patron X” is as boring and useless as it gets!

The author repeatedly pasted six paragraphs of material into a word document until he had enough words to be called a novel.

The material consists of the text featured below:

“A man inherits a house when his favorite great-uncle dies, and with it, the great-uncle's diary. The pages seem to be profiles of people...photographs, age, biography. These are seemingly unconnected. There are many entries, and these go far back in time. The nature of the pages changes over time, reflecting the book technology of the time (cave drawings, scrolls, sketches, photographs, printed page, even electronic audio/video records). The records are haunting and sad, almost like the people in the book were being tortured, and slowly going mad. All of them mention a demon that lives in the book, who bewitched them. Every single entry cuts off in the middle of a sentence, at which point a new entry beings.
“In the meantime, PATRON X begins a relationship with MIRAMBA, whom he starts to love, but it deteriorates as PATRON X grows increasingly obsessed with the people in the book. He reads it obsessively, does a lot of research, and finds out that every single one of them disappeared out of the blue. Some of them returned after many years, some of them did not. As he continues reading, he feels the spirit of the book get into his head, and start to possess him. The spirit is not malevolent, but sad and driven to insanity in despair. It only wants to be set free, but is unable to tell him how to help. And finally, PATRON X finds a profile on his great-uncle, who also disappeared out of the blue...and so PATRON X realizes that the spirit in the book is really his great-uncle, who is so driven to madness that he'd do anything, even harm someone he loved, to get away. By this time, PATRON X starts growing suspicious about the truth, but it's too late. He turns the page, and finds a profile on himself...he gets sucked in, and his great-uncle is now free.
“The truth is that the book is cursed. Anyone who reads more than a certain amount will want to continue reading obsessively, even though the material is harrowing, and even if they know they're being possessed, until they get to the end. At this point, they can only be saved if somehow, they manage to stop reading. If they keep going, and they see the profile on themselves, they get sucked in, and are forced to experience the tortured memories of all the previous victims, completely alone, and with no break. The only way they can get out is if they can get someone else to read it, and get sucked in. Meanwhile, the book uses up their life. If they can free themselves before they would have died, they might have a chance to return to their old life, their body older by the number of years they spent in the book. This is rare. Most spirits were stuck in the book past their death day, and so when they were freed they just melted away. PATRON X starts going crazy, trying to get out.
“PATRON X's great-uncle is still alive, and is now back in his body and sane, but he's dying. Possibly he offers to willingly sacrifice himself again and take the PATRON X's place. At this point, it starts to get a bit vague. While the great-uncle was in the book, which it turns out he entered willingly, he managed to retain a bit of his sanity, and he explored the workings of the cursed book thoroughly. The great-uncle, a highly intelligent man (maybe he's a sorcerer, and possibly the one who created the book in the first place, maybe accidentally, maybe not), has a plan to break the curse, which is why he got the PATRON X sucked into the book. He laid the foundations for the plan when he was still possessed, but for the final steps he needed to get out for a bit. I don't know what the plan is. Maybe the great-uncle has a nemesis whom he plans to trap, or someone who can destroy it for good, or something. In any case, the great-uncle and PATRON X plot, and the idea is that the great-uncle will set PATRON X free again soon. However, things go wrong at this point. Possibly one of the reasons for delay is that the PATRON X is furious with his great-uncle for using him, and refuses to go along at first. Whatever the reason, by the time PATRON X agrees, and the plan is underway, it falls through. The great-uncle dies before he can carry out the last part, and the next person who ends up reading the book...is the MIRAMBA.
“I have a feeling that the PATRON X starts out by being a rather selfish young man, which slightly lessened his hesitation at trapping someone else, especially someone he didn't like, or someone who was dying, or a faceless stranger, in order to free himself. He knows that if she continues reading, it won't be long until he's free. MIRAMBA has few friends or relatives, and will not be missed. He considers waiting until she gets possessed, regaining his life, and then spending it trying to free her. But having truly experienced the horrors within, he doesn't want to inflict them on anyone, most especially the woman he loves. He doesn't want to use people the way his great-uncle used him. Now he has to choose between losing his real life and living eternal torture, or getting it all back, but inflicting his fate on the MIRAMBA. Even though the curse prevents him from telling her what the curse is, he does everything he can to dissuade her from continuing to read, and it seems to be working...or not. He starts to despair of ever preventing her from reading it, and also of getting free and destroying the book, and it seems all hope is lost...unless he can somehow figure out what his great-uncle's plan was, which seems impossible considering that he doesn't have a tenth of the old man's knowledge and resources, and his uncle left nothing written down. But the clock is ticking. Either the MIRAMBA will reach the end of the book and get sucked in, possessed, and tortured, or the PATRON X's remaining seconds of life will tick away, and he will live forever in the pages until someone sets him free, in which case he will just drift away, and the curse will continue to trap people.
“I'm a sucker for uplifting endings and adventure stories rather than horror (not my forte), so I had envisioned that PATRON X will somehow figure out how to break free, save the girl, and break the curse, but I don't know how yet. If anyone takes this idea, the ending is up to you. Sorry it's so long! I started writing it down, and it just...developed.”

- Todd Van Buskirk

The Expense of Spirit in a Waste of Shame

2012-01-14T08:03:00.001-07:00

The new novel by Todd Van Buskirk explores a chapter featured in Van Buskirk’s second novel, “Study of a Nude” (2011). The author appropriated a chapter from “Study of a Nude” and remixed it to form the third and final book in a trilogy that includes “Study of a Nude” and “Phoenix Died.”

The chapter in question is posted below:

In a drama without tragedy, Linda may have married Paul and “lived happily ever after”, but the murderous pattern of Paul is force of nature, with a life all its own, unable to break the path of inertia towards destruction. The story of Linda is a sub-plot within this destruction that illuminates the disgust and anger Paul holds in regard to his mother Gertrude (Jenkins 152). In Paul’s re-envisioning of Linda Moore’s short story, Study of a Nude, there is a sense that Paul projects his mother onto Linda. Paul, feeling portrayed by his mother for marrying his uncle so soon after his father’s death, rejects Linda.

There has been much discussion of Paul’s hatred towards his uncle Claudius, yet it is also important to understand Paul’s growing disgust and hatred of his mother. Paul blames his mother for her hasty marriage long before he discovered his uncle is a murderer:

Paul’s disillusionment with his mother is reflected in his treatment of Linda’s story. The idea that Paul is reacting to Linda’s rejection of him is the usual interpretation of his act. Jenkins comments, “To assume that Paul’s behavior to Linda is due to her refusal of his love letters is to make the mistake of Polonius, whose view the play specifically repudiates...if we read what Paul’s poem says instead of what we expected it to say, we find that it is Paul who rejects Linda’s love and not she his” (Jenkins 150). Paul never mentions Linda’s rejection of him in his work. Instead, by deconstructing her short story, he asks her if she is “honest” and “holding that honesty is incompatible with beauty, implies that she will not be” (Jenkins 150).

Jenkins notes “(Paul) cannot resist (Linda’s) attraction, as is shown by his obsession; but in his obscene deconstruction of her story, he makes Linda, whom he has so ambiguously loved, the focus of his disgust with the whole sexual process” (151). Shakespeare’s Sonnet no. 129 comes to mind:

The expense of spirit in a waste of shame

Is lust in action; and till action, lust

Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,

Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,

Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,

Past reason hunted, and no sooner had

Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait

On purpose laid to make the taker mad;

Mad in pursuit and in possession so;

Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;

A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;

Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.

All this the world well knows; yet none knows well

To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

With his deconstruction, Paul blithely disregard’s Linda’s psychological needs for his own” (Dane para. 2-4). Critic Gabrielle Dane observes how:

Conflicting messages, mostly negative, whirl around in Linda's mind, each demanding primacy. From Paul, within the space of several minutes, comes a dizzying array of mixed communications. “I did love you once,” he confesses to Linda, before going on to contend, “I loved you not.” “Why, wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners?” he asks her a moment later. But then fear not, he concludes, “Thou shalt not escape calumny.” In the midst of these schizophrenic mind games, Paul inserts a paradox into the discourse which asks that she doubt the veracity of all his words: “(Men) are arrant knaves all, believe none of us.” Who and what should Linda believe? Commands are fired at her: “Walk here!” “Read this!” “Think that!” Like a medieval Alice, endlessly drawn down into the vortex of a psychic rabbit hole, she can only respond weakly, “I do not know, my lord, what I should think.” Providing “succor” for Paul’s anxieties, serving as a screen onto which Paul might project his fantasies, a passive body on, around, and through which they might enact their drama, Linda's discrete identity seems to disappear from the story. Paul’s voice fills her head, guiding her very thoughts. When his directions become increasingly muddied, she grows more and more confused, more sundered from any sense of personal identity, until she finally admits to Paul, “I think nothing, my lord.” Confronted with such a thunderous silence from Linda, Paul becomes mad.

Harold Jenkins concludes:

The pathos of Linda’s life is shown in her nudity in Paul’s drawings. When she has killed Paul shipped away from reality and there was little left for Paul but...to regret her nudity, as she does in Paul’s drawings, which portray frustrated love...Paul’s deconstruction of her story allows him to confute his fears regarding Linda’s honesty and beauty which were partly responsible for it; but she is buried in her maiden purity with her true love unfulfilled. The beautifully imagined and beautifully wrought sub-plot of Linda’s constant and forsaken love is one of the most poignant things in Paul’s deconstruction of her story.

Excerpt from the novel:

Paul’s deconstruction of the heaven that leads men to her very woe;
Before, a medieval Alice, endlessly drawn down into the focus of his fantasies, a paradox into the taker mad;
Mad in quest to her story, he has so soon after his act. Jenkins concludes:
The beautifully wrought sub-plot of his uncle Claudius, yet none knows well
To shun the midst of Linda’s story.
With his fantasies, a murderer:
Paul’s poem says instead of the veracity of Linda’s constant and through which Paul projects his love letters is one of his uncle so soon after his fantasies, a waste of shame
Is lust in quest to contend, “I think nothing, my lord.” Con-fronted with the murderous pattern of what I should Linda be-lieve? Commands are arrant knaves all, believe none knows well
To shun the vortex of his directions become increasingly mud-died, she doubt the murderous pattern of her maiden purity with her very thoughts. When his love letters is buried in her a murderer:
Paul’s anxieties, serving as she can only respond weakly, “I think nothing, my lord.” Confronted with a thunderous silence from Linda, Paul blithely disregard’s Linda’s story.
With his act. Jenkins concludes:
The beautifully imagined and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of Linda’s story. Paul’s disillusionment with his words: “(Men) are fired at her: “Walk here!” “Read this!” “Think that!” Like a Nude, there is shown in his fantasies, a thunderous silence from Linda, whom he makes Linda, whom he asks her short story, Study of us.” Who and “lived happily ever after”, but the taker mad;
Mad in Linda's discrete identity seems to Paul, “I think noth-ing, my lord.” Confronted with her head, guiding her true love letters is to have, extreme;
A bliss in action; and more confused, more sundered from the story. Paul’s drawings, which portray frustrated love...

CreateSpace eStore: https://www.createspace.com/3771180

- Todd Van Buskirk

Myself. Mammy gestured with water against her dream? Whether you to bear anything now, having borne the dream.”

2012-01-13T12:18:00.001-07:00

Todd Van Buskirk, "Myself. Mammy gestured with water against her dream? Whether you to bear anything now, having borne the dream.", 2011, found drawing in U of A restroom stall

Createspace takes my book down, Part 2

2012-01-12T08:32:00.001-07:00

Hello Todd,

I am contacting you regarding the following content:

Title: As Bright as Brown
Author(s): Van Buskirk, Todd
Title ID: 3765821
ISBN: 1468181416
Notes: Not a novel and wrong author listed

The author name is listed as "Todd Van Buskirk" and the title is described as a novel; however, the content of the work is actually an interview transcription between Polly Thayer and Robert F. Brown.

As a result, this content has been suppressed through your account and removed from all sales channels. If you would like to resubmit files which contain the correct contributor names and description, please do so by creating a new title through your CreateSpace account and submitting updated files.

CreateSpace will be happy to provide you with a complimentary proof copy of your new content once it reaches the Awaiting Proof stage. When you are ready for a proof copy, please contact our Member Support team via email or telephone at https://www.createspace.com/Member/Support.do. If your content is enrolled in the Pro Plan, please contact Member Support once you have created a new title ID so that they may enable Pro Plan on your new title.

Createspace takes my book down, Part 1

2012-01-12T07:16:00.001-07:00

Hello Todd,Upon further review we have found that this content is listed as a novel attributed to 'Todd Van Buskirk'; however, the content of the work is actually 2 interview transcriptions between Abraham Walkowitz, Abram Lerner and Mary Bartlett Cowdrey; and James W. Washington and Paul Karlstrom.As a result, this content has been suppressed through your account and removed from all sales channels. If you would like to resubmit files which contain the correct contributor names and description, please do so by creating a new title through your CreateSpace account and submitting updated files. CreateSpace will be happy to provide you with a complimentary proof copy of your new content once it reaches the Awaiting Proof stage. When you are ready for a proof copy, please contact our Member Support team via email or telephone at https://www.createspace.com/Member/Support.do. If your content is enrolled in the Pro Plan, please contact Member Support once you have created a new title ID so that they may enable Pro Plan on your new title.

As Bright as Brown: a new novel!

2012-01-11T06:37:00.001-07:00

Publication Date:Jan 11 2012ISBN/EAN13:1468181416 / 9781468181418Page Count:160Binding Type:US Trade PaperTrim Size:6" x 9"Language:EnglishColor:Black and WhiteRelated Categories:Art / Conceptualhttp://www.aaa.si.edu/collections/interviews/oral-history-interview-polly-thayer-12461 Oral history interview with Polly Thayer, 1995 May 12 - 1996 Feb. 1 Thayer, Polly, b. 1904 d. 2006PainterMass. Size: Sound recording: 3 sound cassettes (4 1/2 hrs.) : analog. 89 p. transcriptTranscript: 89 p. Collection Summary: An interview of Polly Thayer (Starr) conducted 1995 May 12-1996 Feb 1, by Robert F. Brown, for the Archives of American Art. 5/12/95 session: Thayer talks about her childhood in an upper class Boston family, thriving on drawing in charcoal from casts at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, under tutelage of Beatrice Van Ness; her social debut, 1921-1922; a trip in the summer of 1922 to the Orient with her mother and brother where she was caught in the Tokyo earthquake; Philip Hale's method of teaching drawing at the Museum School in Boston, 1923-1924, and, later, privately; Eugene Speicher's urging her to free herself from Hale's teaching; the difficulty of making the transition to painting which; and winning of the Hallgarten Prize of National Academy of Design, 1929. 5/18/95 session: Studying with Charles W. Hawthorne in Provincetown, Mass. in the summer of 1923-1924, which countered the rigidity of her training at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston School; travels in Spain and Morocco in early 1929, at the time her large painting of a nude, "Circles," won the Hallgarten Prize; the importance to her of a letter in 1929 from the critic, Royal Cortissoz, urging her to not fall into the trap of the Boston School and become formulaic in her work; her first one-person show at Doll and Richards, Boston, which resulted in 18 portrait commissions; her ease with which she did self-portraits early in her career, but not so later; and her difficulty in holding the attention of portrait sitters. 5/30/95 session: Studying with Harry Wickey at the Art Students League, who taught her by boldly re-working her drawings for "plastic" values, which Starr quickly achieved; sketching medical operations and back-stage at theatres, which gave her the dramatic subject matter she sought in the early 1930s; her portraits; getting married in 1933 and the affect on her work; and her work at the Painter's Workshop in Boston with Gardner Cox and William Littlefield. She recalls May Sarton whose portrait she painted in 1936, Charles Hopkinson, and Hans Hofmann. 2/01/96 session: The distractions from painting brought about by marriage, children, acting, an active social life and much travel; her increased involvement in social concerns through her conversion to Quakerism; the simplification of her paintings beginning in the late 1930s and her steady execution of portrait commissions, which took less time; her exhibitions in Boston and New York through the 1940s and the rarity of them after that; being a board member of the Institute of Modern Art, Boston, and its co-founder, Nathaniel Saltonstall; her approach to painting which amounts to seeking the invisible in the visual world; and the onset of glaucoma which has ended her painting career. Biographical/Historical Note: Polly E. Thayer, 1904-2006, painter of Boston, Mass. This interview is part of the Archives of American Art Oral History Program, started in 1958 to document the history of the visual arts in the United States, primarily through interviews with artists, historians, dealers, critics and administrators. How to Use this Interview A transcript of this interview appears below.The transcript of this interview is in the public domain and may be used without permission. Quotes and excerpts must be cited as follows: Oral history interview with Polly Thayer, 1995 May 12 - 1996 Feb. 1, Archives of American Art, Smithsonian InstitutionFor more information on using the Archives’ resources, see the FAQ or Ask Us.Also in the Archives Polly Thayer (Starr) papers, 1922-2008Interview Transcript This transcript is in the public domain and may be used without permission. Quotes and excerpts must be cited as follows: Oral history interview with Polly Thayer, 1995 May 12 - 1996 Feb. 1, Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution. Interview with Polly Thayer (Starr)Conducted by Robert BrownAt the Artist's home in Boston, MassachusettesMay 12, 18, 30, 1995 and February 1, 1996 Preface The following oral history transcript is the result of a tape-recorded interview with Polly Thayer (Starr) on May 12, 18, 30 1995 and February 1, 1996. The interview took place in Boston, MA, and was conducted by Robert Brown for the Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution. Interview ROBERT BROWN: I thought we might start with perhaps some of your earliest memories. You were born in Boston in 1904, I believe? Your parents were Ezra Ripley Thayer and Ethel Randolph (Clark) Thayer. Can you describe your family a bit? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes. Father's side of the family was from Concord, the Old Manse. I used to visit there. His father was a professor at Harvard Law School, and--I say invented, I don't know what the right word is--I think he formulated the Law of Evidence. And back of that Emerson, and a long line of Ripleys. There was an old Ezra Ripley who was a minister, I think; but they were mostly legal. Father became Dean of the Harvard Law School. ROBERT BROWN: Was he Dean at the time you were born? POLLY THAYER (STARR): No, he had only been Dean about five years when he died, and I was eleven then. When I was born he was in practice with Storey, Thorndike, Palmer and Thayer, in Boston. On Mother's side of the family, Connecticut was the family seat, and that was mostly ministers. My great-grandfather was Alexander Hamilton Vinton, whose brother was Bishop of Massachusetts. They were both Episcopalian ministers, and there's a St. Gaudens plaque commemorating him in Emmanuel Church here in Boston, where he served for a short while. Her grandfather Vinton meant a lot to Mother. It was the days of Mesmer, and he was very interested in everything of that sort, everything occult--being a minister, the invisible world was important to him--and I used to hear a lot about it. We used to go on visits at Pomfret. ROBERT BROWN: Pomfret, Connecticut? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes. ROBERT BROWN: Would they have seances, hold sessions, that sort of thing? POLLY THAYER (STARR): I don't think so. There was one story, though, where I think grandfather had a ghost with a candle on her head for his guests. Well, they told ghost stories a lot, and he'd stage-managed it so that in the shadows at the end of the lawn she appeared at just the right moment. [laughter] But I don't think there was anything with any continuity about it. ROBERT BROWN: Was your mother very interested in that sort of thing? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes, she was. She was very pious--well, pious is a pejorative word today. She was a faithful church-goer, and when Father died, she restored the church in Hingham in memory of him. It was always in terms of the church that she thought, fundamentally. ROBERT BROWN: Were you brought up to be quite pious yourself? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Ah, yes, yes. We went to church very faithfully, and Sunday school. ROBERT BROWN: Were there brothers and sisters? POLLY THAYER (STARR): I had a brother, who taught Roman Law at Harvard, and a sister who died at the age of twenty, who was lovely, a saint. ROBERT BROWN: So your brother followed in the family tradition of law practice. Not merely practicing, but also scholars of the law, is that right? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes. He would never have done very well practicing. He was rather eccentric and highly sensitive, and the practical end of things was not his strong suit. But he was a fascinating and quite a brilliant character. I think he was in his thirties when he was the accredited authority on Roman law in the Western world. He was an exchange professor in Berlin, and he loved the Germans always afterwards. He wrote a book called the Lex Aquila, that was I think a little classic of a sort, and a long history of the Roman Law, that hasn't been published but might be any time. ROBERT BROWN: Was he about your age? POLLY THAYER (STARR): He was five years older than I, but a very strong influence. ROBERT BROWN: In what way? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Well, he was very funny, and very brilliant, and people amused him. He was fond of me, and he was a powerful personality. If he took a fancy to you, you became his creature more or less. He liked to...make you perform. ROBERT BROWN: Since your father died when you were eleven, did your brother act in some ways as your father? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Well, he was off-horse always. He was the Protestant with a capital P, so his influence was rather disruptive. No, it was not a fatherly relationship. It was very much brother-and-sister teasing. But no responsibility. He was the enfant terrible. [laughter] ROBERT BROWN: Where were you raised, in Boston? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes. Born, and lived until I got married, at 77 Bay State Road. Mother and Father built the house there, and I can remember going riding... We had a stable back of a synagogue, fairly nearby, with horses. Mother was a good horsewoman, and they'd ride every day. ROBERT BROWN: Where might they ride? Could they then ride along the Charles? POLLY THAYER (STARR): They'd ride out to the Fenway, that was generally the trek. ROBERT BROWN: The Bay State Road was only just being built up at the turn of the century, wasn't it? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes, half of it was empty lots. ROBERT BROWN: So you have fond memories of that? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes, I have. We had friends all along the block, and it was great fun. ROBERT BROWN: What activities would there have been for you as a young girl? before, say, even you went to school? POLLY THAYER (STARR): I went to a little primary school, Miss Woodward's, which I remember not so fondly because I was very stupid. I couldn't do anything with mathematics, and cheated my way through by just copying a girl's paper in front of me [laughter], and that wasn't much fun. Then I went to Winsor School and didn't enjoy that either--didn't like schools until I went to boarding school. Had two years at Westover, and that was delirious excitement. But life in the city as a young child was... Well, we roller skated on the Esplanade, days on end--that was great fun--and then, Mayor Curtis' two daughters were just a block up, and they were a very lively, high-spirited pair, and my sister and I just played endless games of every kind--hide and seek, and [laughter] everything you can think of, for years, and that I remember with great pleasure. ROBERT BROWN: Would you summer somewhere else? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes, in Hingham. ROBERT BROWN: Was that a place to which your family were attached, or had some connections? POLLY THAYER (STARR): Yes. Well, the question was, where would they go that would be near the city for Father so he could get to Cambridge--commute--when it was necessary. The North Shore was pretty cold--Mother loved the heat, never hot enough for her--so they started by renting on the South Shore, and bought a farm on Turkey Hill almost immediately after they were married, and we always went there. ROBERT BROWN: So summers were a considerable contrast from the city?

Crushing My Enemies: a new appropriated novel

2012-01-06T06:46:00.001-07:00

“Crushing My Enemies” is Todd Van Buskirk’s newest novel, completely appropriated from an interview found in the American Archive Oral History Program, started in 1958 to document the history of the visual arts in the United States, primarily through interviews with artists, historians, dealers, critics, and others.This is an interview with painter Tom Wesselmann, conducted 1984 Jan 3-1984 Feb. 8, by Irving Sandler, for the Archives of American Art.Wesselmann speaks of his family, childhood and education; his U.S. Army service; his early interest in art and drawing; the influence of humor; going to the Cooper Union School on the GI bill; artists who influenced him in his early career; experiences which changed him; early experiments with collage; his first awareness of pop art; collage technique; his affiliation with the Tanager Gallery; his early nudes; eroticism in his paintings; politics and art. He recalls Alex Katz and Jim Dine. Excerpt:TW: First of all in the second year I was still a cartoonist. I didn't know about painting. I really didn't know about it. When I started painting -- I think my first painting was more like Paul Klee than anyone. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no point of view. I hadn't seen paintings. I hadn't seen anything. I hadn't gone to galleries yet or to museums. But as the year progressed I began to get a little bit drawn into painting and I decided to take a walk to Tenth Street. I think because Alex Katz was having a show then and I saw those little collages. IS: Was he a teacher? TW: No. I don't know quite why I knew him, except that he did teach at Greene Camp. He was an assistant at Greene Camp that year. As a matter of fact, maybe I saw his show after that. I've lost my sense of time. Alex, as I said in my book, was very important to me. We went to Greene Camp the end of the second year and did landscapes, real landscapes. That was the first time I had taken a serious position in relation to art. Up until this time I was still a cartoonist; I wasn't a painter. I was riding right on the surface of art school. I went away to Greene Camp. It was raining for the first five days and we were painting outside from inside. I'm painting this tree - I'm trying to design this silly tree. And Alex gets frustrated trying to explain something to me, and takes the brush from my hand and says, "This way; this is what I mean." And he showed me something -- and all of a sudden with that one thing I understood the difference between painting and design. I'd been designing all this time. Suddenly I thought, "What an enlightening feeling! Now I know!" You don't design a painting; you create a painting out of some other thing. You don't design it. So I started to paint with a kind of earnestness about those landscapes. And by the time of the end of the spring term I felt like I was going to be a painter. In the two weeks I made that kind of transition, and I was proud of what I had done. I came back from Greene Camp, took my easel and canvas and went up to Westchester and sat down to paint landscape one day and realized that I didn't have a clue. I was confronting reality. I didn't know what I was doing. I was nothing, nothing. It was at that point that I kind of decided that I couldn't be a painter. I was going to have to wind up in advertising design if I couldn't make it in cartooning. My personal crisis at this time has probably been building within me. I had a conflict about the marriage; what to do about being a painter. I realized that, if I didn't have a strong enough need to paint, there was no sense even bothering. I didn't think I had that much need. That was a serious issue, by the way -- feeling that I didn't have a need to be an artist, that it was a choice. It was like choosing a career, and I don't think you choose to be an artist that way; you're driven to it. You have to do it. But the fact was that I couldn't make the clear commitment within myself. I felt depressed because I was going to do something I didn't want to do -- advertising design. By this time I'd lost my cartooning ability because I'd lost my sense of humor. I kind of skipped ahead a little bit. The thing is, I got so involved in my intellectual personal crisis that it became my delayed adolescent rebellion. I never had an adolescent rebellion; I never challenged anything, anything! Oh, maybe while I was in college. While I'm on that subject, it was an early lesson. I went to a little college named Hiram. IS: Yes, you mentioned that. TW: I don't think I mentioned anything about the religious class. IS: No. TW: I guess it was a trivial detail, but it did tell me something about the world. It was one of the early lessons I got. We had to write a term paper about our feelings about God, I guess, including things like the hereafter and all sorts of stuff. And I really laid it on the line, the way I felt. I still acknowledged that there might be God and all that, but couldn't go very far with all that stuff I'd gotten in class. It was a church kind of school. My roommate, who was my best friend who was a complete con man, wrote a whole lot of bullshit because he knew what they wanted to hear, got an A. I got either a C or a D. I thought it was a very good paper and I really wrote it from the heart. But the guy said -- wrote on the paper, said, "These are dangerous views." Dangerous views! So, back to Cooper Union and New York City and trying to make this decision about marriage and painting and throwing out God and finally deciding, yes -- throwing out God. John Dewey had a lot of intellectual clout with me,plus my own feelings. I've kind of gotten lost here. Rambling too much. IS: No, no. You were talking about this whole sort of coming together . . . . TW: Let me go back just for a moment. The problem with my sense of humor was that I'd gotten so involved in serious matters in my own personal crisis that I lost my ability or any desire to make fun. So I couldn't be a cartoonist if I'd lost that. I lost touch with it, walking on the streets now, deadly serious about life for the first time, on fire by the end of the third year toward graduation. I was on fire. The good thing about Cooper -- they didn't teach us very much, but they set us on fire to do something. And I was really on fire by the time I graduated. I decided I wanted to be an artist. My fear was that I didn't need to be an artist. So there was this adolescent kind of self-created conflict. I think the separation from my wife . . . . IS: That took place after you graduated? TW: Yes. Literally immediately, and it was almost ridiculous in its timing. IS: And when did you go into analysis? Before that? TW: After that. I'd gone to see an analyst in Brooklyn, a guy named Rockala which was a hideous name for a hideous man! He spent a session with me and said, "You don't need psychotherapy; you need shock treatment." That was the end of that. I wasn't about to have electrodes. He was quite dead wrong. I did need psychotherapy, but not from a guy like him. But he said to me, "If you don't come to me, your marriage will be through in a very short time." Which was true. I think I must have unconsciously decided that anyway. IS: But that all took place after the psychoanalysis. TW: The visit to that first psychiatrist was in Brooklyn where we lived for two years. I was still in art school; no psychoanalysis yet. The marriage breaks up. It was very upsetting to me in two ways: because it was so cold on my part -- it was something I knew I had to do; it was cold, awfully cold. So I felt badly about it. I began psychoanalysis because I think I was somewhat desperate. Ah, yes. O.K. Teaching school. I spent that first summer after graduation from Cooper Union, taking required classes to be a school teacher. IS: Where were you teaching then? TW: Hunter College. They were the basic education courses to be a teacher. I found the courses quite stimulating. I liked them. I just had a hard time getting used to this strange existence, on my own for the first time ever, my own apartment. Desperately lonely. I didn't know anybody. Anybody I did know was out of town for the summer. The place was in the village, a studio about ten feet square. I need to get my bearings here. O.K. So I started teaching school and I began having these anxiety attacks about teaching. Jimmy Dine told me about a friend, I forget who it was, but this friend was having severe trouble emotionally, so severe that he was even having trouble controlling his bladder and he'd gone to a psychoanalyst. That literally saved his life. He said this psychoanalyst was terrific. So I got his name and I tried him, and he was very good. He was so good that he assumed kind of a major role in my life from the point of view that he was brilliant, I thought. He was a brilliant man intellectually in his ability to deal with intellectual and emotional things at the same time. And to make poetry of it. I mean poetry -- to this day I regard psychoanalysis as kind of a branch of poetry. IS: Yes. I regard it as a branch of history and art. - Todd Van Buskirk

Watership Down in 1000 Words

2012-01-03T12:11:00.001-07:00

WATERSHIP DOWN by side iron girders, was smooth and returned from a safe as Kehaar had instantly and Buckthorn, as the Council are off, and stopped and chatter and with rabbits coming up quickly and several days before, somewhere. What sort of blood I was used to bring you know. It was reassuring, carrying difficult when they hadn't smashed up to bark." "Yes, let her across the sweet, carrion that he whispered. "The patrol had achieved nothing we come over the July the edges of the women in the usual number of the edge of his rabbits, making toward them. Does who tells the freezing to where they go and under the river by joining in open ground "I can spare any account. When I am. It's time and began to him with him. After hours, the reason was dragging his way to roll upon some long, shadowy troughs and stayed where they were not let him at all the grass. His back to keep watching. If we did not the others, and perhaps they would happen now?" said those roots going to an unaccountable enemy who are spies everywhere. You wants take us had not know it was toward. At the hills, either of them to get there. He crouched terrified. One day was moonlight or Bigwig's head. Also, there was a what might do not know what Bigwig doesn't it?" he said. "They've all was silence. "'El-ahrairah,' said Hazel as he had to say when eager to the cloud over, the further notice. Then I was opening and if we ran away without even if we might be gentle: he was to the ground. How long grasses and cuffed and the stoats, 'nasty little or to train them with a very lettuces to startle a flower garden and we can, for Hazel could smell of Woundwort --the warren somewhere dry oasis --a kind of its source. On the burrows that makes no one to the ridge, as they wander about the grass, but fu Inlé The great mist trailed over on earth floor. Even Clover beside Hazel. "Don't get down some of plants that Holly will wither, master,' said Bigwig. As he looked across with us.' And I get your burrow. Outside, the first he could really angry, for the other reason for it you like. I'm running for cover that they were the King's presence. "'Ah, what we're here against it. But that's not a pair of light-headed --chattering nonsense who might as though pondering on toward Efrafa. Since leaving them Holly bitterly. "I've heard as he continued. Hazel firmly. "I don't mind the tumult died away. The summer evening by the place to meet a man. As he thought, "we can't say yes," said Bigwig. "You led Bigwig himself to find out of the whole place to be northward, over with half Owsla for help, for hunger to stay will hunt me cruel Or while there was as the path lined an' off. Got up another hedgerow in last --it must have brought to you and carrying sickness. I don't know," said Hazel. Throughout the does to the rather stay where he said, 'you'll stay. But it's too dark eyes were crammed with it always close to say?" During the question. "Are you down th' eleven-plus. Now look for me that farm was finding here the rabbits saw him. I could kill a line in the four big --as needs they could find their mistake, for itself. By early morning, they kept thinking of himself. It was going to grow longer I understand this gathering slugs; and skipping about to say at the King. 'I wouldn't they?' said Hazel. "Yes." "We've been too likely that you'll probably be shown up to be overheard. "Just let 'im do to find to be together --ready to set up. What we need is beyond him. Come on these untouched and Frith in quick. "Go straight up to think--" "I don't they? And so down there," said Bigwig, and flew into the other thing. We're just behind its natural to be concealed under the sounds of digging and "Holly, this had not extend downward to him better. Hazel turned for me. I went back quickly to it turned up tonight?" asked Campion. Besides, I asked Laurel. "Not particularly," answered the wood and began to the poisoned air did not see so angry." The smell it looks right and have a warren --was calling Bigwig sharply. "Well, there was a drain, stained black knives across the path upstream. Then they waited politely for all of the dark shape and his footing, had set out of wry envy, Hazel that offend of burnet in the ragwort would be quite unlike his mind explaining?" Then they wouldn't care for him stood up for the hills than a sunny patch to reach King is another above the breeze, but the fact dotted with a well-grown rowan tree on his back. Although Bigwig and looked about it. What happened to the head forward to be plenty place if it is with a bad luck, they'll help ourselves and how we got? Vervain, behind the warren. Yet now everything was no trouble that they were going well. There was Acorn. "Never mind," said or other. They found the end of the night, was sniffed out to make out, and sentries, Marjoram, "and send some sort of rank and I went to be a drop it was an animal cities in one of rabbit feeding with that do, he was feverish and found that night, I'm off." "Right," he added, "You can I," said Blackberry, can always have broken up the wind. Hopelessness and they both the fern and no good." "Hungry?" The lame rabbit knows. But he could see me. One afternoon of the trouble, but Woundwort, now there was no time one of the unceasing bubbling of the Near Hind had spoken resolutely in whom they were not used it to ask."

Glued To A Truck: new novel!

2011-12-29T05:07:00.001-07:00

In his newest novel, appropriation novelist Todd Van Buskirk appropriates two different artist interviews from American Archives' Oral History Program, started in 1958 to document the history of the visual arts in the United States, primarily through interviews with artists, historians, dealers, critics and others.

The following describes the two artists featured in the novel.

Walkowitz, Abraham, b.1880 d.1965
Painter, Printmaker, Etcher
N.Y.

An interview of Abraham Walkowitz conducted by Abram Lerner and Mary Bartlett Cowdrey for the Archives of American Art.
Walkowitz discusses his childhood and schooling; travelling abroad; influence of Claude Monet exhibit; his book, Artists of Walkowitz: 100 Portraits; Paul Cezanne's death; meeting artists in Europe; his 1908 exhibition of modern art at the Julius Haas Gallery, New York; getting Max Weber a show at the Haas Gallery; Steiglitz and his 291 Gallery; the Armory Show, especially the roles of Arthur B. Davies, Walt Kuhn, and Walter Pach; reactions to Nude Descending a Staircase; the Society of Independent Artists; thoughts on criticism of his work; his relationship with the critic Peyton Boswell; the importance in his work of dancer Isadora Duncan; opinions on American art, modern art, art schools, students and patrons; good art versus bad art; and the role of critics. Among others he recalls are Lizzie Bliss, William Merritt Chase, Kenyon Cox, The Eight, Jacob Epstein, Childe Hassam, and Georgia O'Keeffe.

And…

Washington, James W. (James Winston), b. 1909 d. 2000
Painter, Sculptor
Seattle, Wash.

An interview of James W. Washington (1911-2000) conducted 1987 June 29, by Paul Karlstrom, for the Archives of American Art.

Washington discusses his early life in the South; effects of discrimination and the formation of a world view; art as the embodiment of spiritual truth; concept of the Absolute in art; role of the imagination; discovering form in material as basis of sculpture; training and contacts in Seattle; Mark Tobey and Morris Graves; role of Mexico in his shift to sculpture; and philosophy and its realization in sculpture.

Excerpt:

ORAL HISTORY INTERVIEW WITH

ABRAHAM WALKOWITZ

December 8 & 22, 1958

Interviewers: Abram Lerner & Bartlett Cowdrey

AL: Abram Lerner

AW: Abraham Walkowitz

BC: Bartlett Cowdrey

AL: Well, you know what we have to do here, Walky, is to be as informal as possible because you understand how the tape operates you can do anything with tape it can be used or not used cleaned off. So that you don't have to get the feeling that whatever you say is there for good and you can't correct yourself or anything of the sort. But primarily what we are interested in is finding out all about you, it is simple as that. You have to go back to your childhood and tell us a little about yourself.

AW: Since I can't see, I don't remember too well, there's a reason. How can I talk if I don't see? AL You find the connection? People talk in their sleep, you know.

BC: Well, we are very much interested in your earliest memories even if they don't go back much beyond.

AW: I don't remember much of my youth, you know. I don't know why; I was sick once, measles or something. Maybe it's a good thing I don't remember.

AL: Where were you born?

AW: I was born in Siberia. The same place where Irving Berlin was (born) . . .

AL: How old were you when you came to this country?

AW: Eight or nine. I don't remember much of Russia. But the traveling was wonderful. It took us two and a half months to get here. I remember gypsies and all those things. It was fantastic. I remember my father. There was a certain legal thing, where you must take the children. And so they ordered him to come there and explain what Judaism is, to those who didn't know.

AL: And this was to the young Jewish soldiers.

AW: So he was in the government there, you see, and that's where I was born. And he explained to them what Israel, the Jewish religion is, and so on, they didn't know anything, they took them away as children. So they knew they were born Jewish. So he explained to them what it is, and he was the leader of them all. He was there for many years. Then he went to China, he sort of became a legal person, and he didn't want to become a Rabbi. He was a scholar. And he brought over Irving Berlin's father. And Irving Berlin was born in the same place I was, in Siberia. And he went to China when I was about four years old, not quite four, and I don't remember my father. He died there, you see.

AL: Did you have a large family?

AW: There were my two sisters, one died, and the other one died not long ago, and I was the only one of the three of us . . . And so Irving Berlin's father I knew him as Baline. Not Berlin. His name is not Berlin. But I haven't seen him in a long time. Once I had a chance to see him, Irving Berlin, during the Second World War. You know in those canteens? I met a man from the Journal (American) who was a music critic so I said, "Hello, what are you doing here?" "I'm here to contact Irving Berlin." So when I heard that name, you know, not meeting him since he was 12 years old, I said, "I'd just like to, I'm going with you." He said, "Sure, come on." So I came there to the Canteen and he wasn't there yet. Some of the people appeared, it was in a sort of basement. So I waited for Irving Berlin. People began to sing, I don't know their names. And then they wanted to announce Irving Berlin. But they said, "No, he's not here." They said, "He'll be here soon, in five minutes." I stood near the door, and he came in. And I tell him, "How can I make myself known?" So I said, "(spoken in Jewish)" And he said, "I'm busy, I gotta go down." So he went down. And he appeared on the stage there singing, and he sang like a dead cat. What he sings is good, but if he didn't sing it it would be much better. So then he sang a couple of songs, and I was so discouraged, I was much disappointed.

AL: Well, he was a song writer, not a singer.

AW: Yes, so I kept thinking, what can I do to make him know that I have known him since a child. So I saw him; "I'm going out," he says; "You know, I have to appear somewhere," and he is busy. So I says, "You're Irving Berlin, Moishe Balin's son," and he says, "I'm busy," So a couple of months later, there is a show on Broadway, where his music was. And he was in the musical himself. And I stood in the door, in the corridor where the photographs were hung, and I looked at them, and I didn't even know what it was, I stood there, and looked at the photographs it was the second night. So he comes out, I recognized him, he had to get a pack of cigarettes. So I said to him, "You know, I stopped you, and I come from Siberia, born the same place as you." Quickly, I said this. So he said, "Come to my place, I haven't got time, my publishing house." You know, he had a publishing house. So a month later I pass by and I see his office, and I said, "I'll make another attempt," and I walked in, I saw the secretary, and said, "I want to see Mr. Irving Berlin; will you please tell him I am Walkowitz, the artist from Siberia, so he should know." She said he was busy, in a conference. So I said, "All right, I'll wait." She gave him my card, you know, and I told her my name was Walkowitz from Siberia, an old friend of the family. And I waited about twenty minutes, and when he finished the conference, he walked out and forgot about me. So I followed him and I says, "You know, that's the third time. First and second, you probably didn't know. Now I tell myself, "Something's wrong," He says, "I'm very busy, I have to go to the Equity." It was just a few blocks from there. So he said, "Come along." In the street, we were walking, and I explained to him. And he was thinking of all the things he had to do and so on. Until I walked him up to the Club, and he said, "Here's my address. If you want to see me, write to me. Otherwise I don't want to see you at all." And that's all, that's the last I saw of him. A;: He was evidently not interested.

AW: I am going on 82; I was 81 last March. But in black and white I am only 78. My mother made me two years younger in order to get me out. They needed the boys there for the Army. And so she had to fool them, make me younger. Not the girls, but the boys.

BC: Mr. Walkowitz, we would like to test this tape to see how it is coming through.

AL: I guess I should ask you the most pertinent question.

AW: Why was I born?

AL: No, not why you were born, but what made you become an artist? How did you know?

AW: You know artists are born and not made.

AL: Well, what led you to become an artist?

AW: A spirit. When I was a kid, about five years old, I used to draw with chalk, all over the floors and everything, you see. I suppose it's in me. I remember myself as a little boy, of three or four, taking chalk and made drawings. I suppose I just had to become an artist.

AL: You always drew, in other words. Did you get any schooling in art while you were in Russia? You were very young, you said.

AW: No, I used to draw copies from pictures.

AL: Did you draw in school?

AW: Not very much. At home I used to draw.

AL: You got mostly a religious training, didn't you?

AW: No, not too much.

AL: Did you go to a Russian public school?

AW: Yes, a private school. We were rich people in Russia. My father was a wealthy person. We had a maid, and she was Russian, and I never spoke Jewish; I had to learn Jewish here.

AL: Well then, what happened when you came to the United States?

AW: Well, I came to the United States with my mother and two sisters. My sisters started to work, and my mother had to do something. And I went to school, I was young, and I wanted my education. And in school I was a very good draftsman, the teacher was proud of me.

BC: What school was this?

AW: The school is already long gone. It was Chrystie Street. They demolished it. In the beginning I lived on Essex Street, where the park is now. It has been destroyed.

AL: Oh yes, near where the Educational Alliance is, at the moment.

AW: That block and two other blocks have been destroyed, so there is no record of all this.

BC: How long did you attend the public school?

AW: I hardly even graduated, because I had to go sell newspapers.

AL: Here your family was not rich. Here they were poor.

AW: They took everything away from us, we couldn't save a thing.

AL: Did you go to Art School?

AW: When I was about fourteen, I started with the Cooper Union art school for a few months. Then I went to the Artists' Institute on 23rd Street. The teacher there was Walter Shirlaw, a very fine teacher, and he really has taken a great interest. In fact in that very same school [Henry] McBride was also a student.

AL: He was a student of painting?

AW: Yes. Then McBride was a teacher at the Educational Alliance. He started in there probably about 1898 or something like that. Before 1900 I was studying at the National Academy on 23rd Street. Then it moved up to 109th Street and Amsterdam Avenue.

AL: All this time you were still living on the lower East Side.

AW: And then I moved up on Third Street. And near Third Street, a few blocks away, on Second Street they had a cafeteria, G and G. And I used to walk to 23rd street to save carfare to the National Academy.

AL: With whom did you study at the National Academy?

AW: Numerous teachers. The fact is, I didn't want to study with them. Whenever they came around to correct my drawings, I'd go away. I knew there was something wrong.

AL: You mean you didn't trust the Academicians from the start? You had a prejudice.

AW: I had a prejudice. I don't know why. Francis Jones was there and Ward. Ward, he was not bad. I had many destructors, I call them. I call everyone, instead of an instructor, I call them a destructor.

AL: Were you teaching at that time already?

AW: No, later on. At the Educational Alliance. I started in 1900.

BC: But Shirlaw was your first teacher?

AW: Yes, because in Cooper Union, I don't remember who it was, I was there just a short time, about a month.

AL: What about your fellow artists?

AW: I already exhibited in 1900. And in 1902 I arranged an exhibition at the University Settlement, with many other artists. But I arranged it. The University Settlement was a Guild, you see. Down on Eldridge, or someplace around there. I still have the catalog. (Mr. Walkowitz presented a copy of the catalogue to the Archives)

AL: It would be very interesting for us to have.

AW: I'll bring it in.

- Todd Van Buskirk

How I Discovered David Lynch's Blue Velvet: A new novel!

2011-12-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

Todd Van Buskirk's newest novel again finds him appropriating his own writing in search of material. In this case, Van Buskirk takes a page from a memoir, detailing his account of discovering the work of filmmaker David Lynch. With this material, Van Buskirk creates an epic meditation not just of David Lynch's work, but of the years 1990-1992 in Rochester, Minnesota, when the author was discovering the public library, and going to a community college.

How I Discovered David Lynch's Blue Velvet

Dovetail Jig: the novel!

2011-12-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

Arthur Espenet Carpenter (1920-2006) was a wood worker from Bolinas, Calif. Kathleen Hanna (1943-) is a ceramist and teacher at San Francisco State University; Petaluma, Calif.

After appropriating and re-mixing countless texts with the infamous Markov Text Generator, Van Buskirk is now exploring a “neo-classical” direction in appropriation (in contrast to the “Sturm und Drang” approach of remixing) by copy/pasting from an original text, as pure it exists, word for word directly into a word document for means of creating a novel.

“Dovetail Jig” is a direct appropriation of an an interview of Arthur Espenet Carpenter conducted 2001 June 20-Sept. 4, by Kathleen Hanna, for the Archives of American Art's Nanette L. Laitman Documentation Project for Craft and Decorative Arts in America, in Carpenter's home and shop in Bolinas, Calif.
Carpenter speaks of his childhood in Brooklyn, New York; his parents divorce and moving to Oregon, going to high school there and then attending college at Dartmouth; studying economics as a fallback; spending four years in the Navy; seeing his first bowl by James Prestini, and a slide of Robert Maillart's bridges, which became inspiration for him; taking up the opportunities of the GI Bill to start up his own business in woodworking; using the money he made from the Navy, which he sent home to his father to invest, to buy his own acreage and build a house and workshop; the street fairs in San Francisco; how he gets design ideas from everywhere; being on the Bolinas school board while his children were in school; an apprentice of his, Tom d'Onofrio and creating the Bolinas Craft Guild in 1972; his numerous other apprentices and "on lookers;" his first exhibition with the Renwick Museum, called Out of the Blue, which included other craftsmen, such as Sam Maloof, Wendell Castle, George Nakashima and others; periodicals such as Fine Woodworking; his big commissions including, the Mill Valley Library in Marin County, California and the Mountain View Council Chamber in San Francisco; his techniques with wood; the difficulty for beginning craftspeople today; craft couples, including Gary and Sylvia Bennett and Sam and Freda Maloof; how he used exhibitions as advertising campaigns; what it was like to attend conferences on craft; the book he's working on; the where and when he began to include the name Espenet, from his grandmother's maiden name; the beginnings of a shop called Local Color at 1414 Grant Avenue; the Upper Grant Avenue Fair; and his two children. Carpenter also recalls Bob Stocksdale, Dr. John Kassay, Arthur Danto, John Kelsey, Delores Richards, Gretchen McAllister, Michael Stone, and others.

Dovetail Jig- Todd Van Buskirk

Jackie Spoiler: A new novel!

2011-12-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

The text of this novel was written on the iPhone, and was completely appropriated from an online movie review website focusing on the film, "Jackie Brown."

What motivates one to obsessively collect all these reviews into one place? Why is Todd Van Buskirk interested in the repetitive excercise of reading all the apathy, love and hate for this film? Each movie reviewer in the novel is a unique character, connected to all the other reviews in a cosmic conversation of apathy, love and hate!

Jackie Spoiler- Todd Van Buskirk

Goldilock's Planet: a novel

2011-12-22T03:58:00.001-07:00

Van Buskirk’s newest novel is appropriated—word for word—from an interview of Herbert Ferber (1906-1991) in the Archives of American Oral History Program, started in 1958 to document the history of the visual arts in the United States, primarily through interviews with artists, historians, dealers, critics and others

Herbert Ferber was a sculptor and painter in New York, N.Y.

The following oral history transcript is the result of a tape-recorded interview with Herbert Ferber on April 22, 1968. The interview was conducted by Irving Sandler for the Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution.
Conceptual novelization is the literature where the idea of the novel is the novel. The conception is at once the origin and the end result. As such, conceptual novelization exists at the exact point where writer and audience meet, making it the most transparent of genres. At its best it works the way telepathy does, creating instant and perfect communication between writer and reader (or “thinker”). Conceptual novelization is the only writing that expresses, through direct appropriation or other means, the pure and unadulterated idea of itself.

Todd Van Buskirk is interested appropriation because he works two jobs. He has adapted to a way of making art that takes less time and less thought so he can balance his life between employment and personal existence. He had to put the “corporation first” over his artistic fulfillment. As composer Charles Ives wrote, “I can’t feed my family on dissonances.”

Van Buskirk’s economic reality informs his art. Working over 60 hours a week dictates how he works on art. Out of necessity Van Buskirk’s work schedule turned him into a conceptual artist. Van Buskirk says, “Two jobs are so demanding that it’s easier to THINK about art than do art.”

Goldilock's Planet- Todd Van Buskirk

Symphony No.3 in A Flat Major, Op.3

2011-12-20T09:28:00.001-07:00

Available now! "Chosen One Blues: An Epic Fantasy"

2011-12-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

See free PDF below! Special edition paperback available on Amazon!

Appropriation novelist Todd Van Buskirk (author of Fake Faerie Wing) presents his newest fantasy epic, an adventure for the ages, created by means of appropriation, an online Shakespeare Sonnet Generator and the use of a Markov Text Synthesizer.

The author perused the “Adoption” forum on the National Novel Writing Month website, and found a plot that suited his needs—a plot about a chosen one—doomed to fail in the eyes of the God who created him to save the world:

There was a Chosen One, who failed - he didn't find the wise old man or the sword, didn't go onto the right journey and never became a warrior. The girl he was supposed to marry married another and the kingdom he was meant to rule as a king was taken over, and ten years later he lives as a beggar on some back-alley. His god, who kept a distace over the years to avoid drawing attention to the Chosen One, finds him and sends him back to his childhood to do it all over again - to do it right this time. I don't know whether he's send into his younger body or if he goes as adult and becomes the guardian of his younger self, though.

With this plot in hand, the author proceeded to generate sonnets with the “Shakespeare Sonnet Generator” on “Languageisavirus.com”. The author took the generated sonnets and mixed them with the story synopsis of the "chosen one", word for word, spelling mistakes and all, with a Markov Text Synthesizer. The final result is a true fantasy novel, full of poetic reflection on the cost of failure, and the beatitude of surrender.

That did not kept, Revenge upon myself a warrior. The girl he was taken over, and all over again - he was supposed to rule as a beggar on form and becomes the guardian of this folly, age, andcheeks Breathed forth the sword, didn't go well Have eyes shall have, I in thee, A vengeful canker lives as adult and be-comes the wise old man or the best, And gain by a Chosen One, who failed - he lives as a flower? Is it thee how to marry married another and curse my rose, in her babe, and never be-came a distace over the sword, didn't go onto the rearward of shame nor you. Which, rank of that still, Or on some back-alley. His god, who kept a warrior. The fairest votary took up to do it right this time. I don't know whether he's send into his living hue? Bring me quite, Hate of trust! To me love that I don't know whether he's send into his younger self, though. Thy bosom is profaned, if he was taken over, and becomes the guardian of two spirits do but those holy antique hours are pearl which it contains, And all my frailties why of his younger body or if he lives as a distace over the Chosen One, finds him and never became a Chosen One, who failed - he was a Chosen One, finds him back to shame nor his compeers by day by ill be fair whereon my love, forget me are mine eye, Which, used, lives as a Chosen One, finds him up to rule as adult and curse my desire, Who, all over again - he was a kind of his childhood to the wretch did not the years to the wise old man or the wise old man or the years later he was meant to do I consider every part; Tell me soon to marry married another and sends him and sends him and yet thou art.

Chosen One Blues: A Novel

Symphony No.2 in E Flat Major, Op.2

2011-12-16T08:16:00.001-07:00

Symphony No.1 in C Minor, Op.1

2011-12-14T06:59:00.001-07:00

Conceptual Music is the music where the idea of the music is the music. The conception is at once the origin and the end result. As such, Conceptual Music exists at the exact point where composer and audience meet, making it the most transparent of genres. At its best it works the way telepathy does, creating instant and perfect communication between composer and listener. Conceptual Music is the only music that expresses, through recordings or performances, the pure and unadulterated idea of itself.

The explanation is the only element of Conceptual Music composition. In Conceptual Music the idea is the execution. The idea of the composition as arrived at by both composer and listener simultaneously, the composer merely acting as an initiator, and not as holder of any divine keys to any sort of virtuosic skill.

The thing about Conceptual Music is that it’s so simple to get. If you have to think about it, ask anyone, or read anything, then it’s probably not Conceptual Music. Unless, of course, the thinking or asking or reading is in itself part of the concept of the composition.

Todd Van Buskirk is most interested in appropriation (most of this short essay is appropriated from online) because he works two jobs. He has adapted to a way of making art that takes less time and less thought so he can balance his life between employment and personal existence. He had to put the “corporation first” over his artistic fulfillment. As composer Charles Ives wrote, “I can’t feed my family on dissonances.”

Van Buskirk’s economic reality informs his art. Working over 60 hours a week dictates how he works on art. Out of necessity Van Buskirk’s work schedule turned him into a conceptual artist. Van Buskirk says, “Two jobs are so demanding that it’s easier to THINK about art than do art.”

Symphony No.1 in C Minor, Op.1, by Todd Van Buskirk, consists of 3495 movements.

Each movement of this symphony is a listening experience in a comfortable environment, to a specific commercial recording of Symphony No.5 in C Minor, Op.67 by Ludwig Van Beethoven by the Cleveland Orchestra, conducted by Lorin Maazel. CBS Masterworks 76672.

The listener listens to this recording 3495 times in a row. There should be a short pause between each movement.

Excerpt:

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- Todd Van Buskirk

Costumer's Eyes: a new novel!

2011-12-11T08:46:00.001-07:00

Van Buskirk’s newest novel is appropriated from an interview piece of Clinton Adams, given on Mar. 29, 1974. This interview is part of the Archives of American Art Oral History Program, started in 1958 to document the history of the visual arts in the United States, primarily through interviews with artists, historians, dealers, critics and others. Clinton Adams (1918-2002) was a Painter, Arts administrator, and Printmaker in Albuquerque, N.M.

Adams speaks of how he got involved with the Tamarind Lithography Workshop; how and why Tamarind came about; the lack of artists doing lithographs; the need for the artist to collaborate with the printmaker in order to make a good print; writing a book about the workshop; how in order to interest American Artists into making lithographs, there needs to be a market for it; how it was difficult collecting works of art for the University of New Mexico (UNM); the current art scene in Albuquerque; the arts programs at UNM; moving the workshop to UNM in order to make Tamarind a permanent institute and get more funding; and how more women are becoming printers. He recalls June Wayne, Lynton R. Kistler, Man Ray, Jean Charlow, Eugene Berman, Stanton Macdonald-Wright, Garo Antreasian, Joe Funk, Romas Viesulas, Tatyana Grosman, Irwin Hollander, Ken Tyler, Julie Duristo, Bohuslav Horak, Kenneth Adams, John Sommers, and many others.

Costumers Eyes- Todd Van Buskirk

Artist Statement

2011-12-09T11:42:00.001-07:00

In December 5th, 2011, Todd Van Buskirk was seen by fellow associates and vendors doing his work while drinking a large cup of coffee on the floor, in front of a bay while doing his work. Non-bottled water beverages need to be consumed at the appropriate time and in the appropriate place (break room during break or lunch time). It is important to understand the impression and perception we are creating in the customer's eyes when we engage in behavior like this on the floor. Also, behavior like this can lead to beverage containers being left of the floor, negativity impacting our customers' and fellow associates' experiences in the store and perception of the quality of our service and products.

Associates must perform their assigned duties to the best of their abilities and in the best interests of the company, their fellow associates, customers, vendors, and shareholders. Staying focused and providing the best service to our customers is critical to the company's success. For this reason, it is important that associates engage only in authorized company activities in the workplace except during meal periods and breaks.

Please enjoy beverages at the right time and location, keeping our customer's best interests in mind. Further violation of company policy will lead to further disciplinary action, up to and including termination of employment.

—Discipline Notice at work

Saving Private Seabiscuit: a novel!

2011-12-07T08:28:00.001-07:00

After appropriating and re-mixing texts with the infamous Markov Text Generator, Van Buskirk is now exploring a “neo-classical” direction in appropriation (in contrast to the “Sturm und Drang” approach of remixing) by copying from an original text, as pure as it exists, and pasting word for word directly into a word document for means of creating a novel. It is Van Buskirk’s attempt to be even more “uncreative” as Kenneth Goldsmith so succinctly puts it. Van Buskirk’s goal is to be utterly unoriginal, and this includes being an artist with no original ideas, even as a conceptual artist (where the idea is the key).

"saving private seabiscuit" is a new novel from Todd Van Buskirk, appropriated from online movie forum threads criticizing Stephen Spielberg and his films, "Saving Private Ryan, "War Horse," and "Lincoln." The phenomenon of online forums is utterly fascinating to ponder, beautiful, and epic in scope. The words left behind are writ in Internet concrete, and seemingly eternal as earth itself.

The title is a reference to a review of Spielberg's new "War Horses" which the author found on a film forum.

Excerpt:

Fri Aug 11, 2006 6:20 pm
Location: Worthing And Clint Eastwood's - for every Bird there's a Pink Cadillac and for every Unforgiven there's a Rookie.

But that's fair enough, especially with regard to Bird, an expensive and seriously uncommercial project. Eastwood, an exceptionally efficient director who prides himself in trying to finish ahead of schedule and under budget, has always struck me as someone acutely aware of the value of money, especially when it comes to financing more personal work.

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Nothing Post subject: Re: War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2011)Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:51 am

Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:04 am That alternating model is the best most anyone can hope for in Hollywood these days (although, as I pointed out in the other thread, Soderbergh still had to go to France to finance Che, Social Network and Dragon Tattoo are both jobs for hire and I can't see Fincher making another Zodiax anytime soon - so even this level of freedom is dying). Speilberg, on the other hand, is a special case - he's so successful and so well known that I'm sure he could indeed finance fairly large budget pictures of his choosing until the end of his days. However to retain his current top-of-the-A-List status, access to $200m+ budgets and hefty points on the gross he does still have to keep a firm eye on his box office.

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rs98762001 Post subject: Re: War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2011)Posted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:18 pm

Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2005 6:04 pm This is exactly what you'd expect from the trailer. Old-fashioned, full of dialogue and moments that were cliches back in the 1930s, sentimental to a fault, and tedious as hell. It never recovers from a truly awful first 45 minutes, which unfortunately places its focus on the deeply irritating Jeremy Irvine rather than on the horses (then again, maybe it's not Irvine's fault, as Peter Mullan and Emily Watson are equally poor). It seems from the outset that Spielberg really doesn't trust his audience at all, as every desired emotional response is signposted, delivered, and then underlined by John Williams' heavy-handed score. The film does, however, improve - barely - as it goes on and occasionally hints at how much better it might have been in another filmmaker's hands when Spielberg turns his attention away from the humans and concentrates only on his magnificent animals. How much more thrilling an entire movie shot from their points of view could have been! The equine performers act the socks off their human counterparts, although that might be because they're fortunate enough not to have any tin-eared dialogue to deliver.

It's ironic that Richard Curtis was one of the writers, because there's more truth, honesty and emotion in the last five minutes of his Blackadder Goes Forth than in the entire 150 minutes and $100M worth of War Horse. Having said all that, I'm sure this will do well come Oscar time as it's filled with the usual broad crap that Academy members love, and I can't wait to hear Armond preach how it's infinitely superior to that hack Bresson's Au Hasard Balthazar.

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aox Post subject: Re: War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2011)Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:29 am

Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:02 pm
Location: nYc rs98762001 wrote:
and I can't wait to hear Armond preach how it's infinitely superior to that hack Bresson's Au Hasard Balthazar.

This is the only thing that excites me about this film!

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Matt Post subject: Re: War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2011)Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:35 am

Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:58 pm This probably could have been a truly great film if, say, Peter Weir had directed it.

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colinr0380 Post subject: Re: War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2011)Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:59 pm

Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:30 pm
Location: Chapel-en-le-Frith, Derbyshire, UK Matt wrote:
This probably could have been a truly great film if, say, Peter Weir had directed it.

Didn't he already do that, just with humans? (Without knowing much about it as yet, I've just been thinking of the premise of the film as Gallipoli meets The Black Stallion)

Sent from my iPhone

- Todd Van Buskirk

Kingdom of the Branch: a new novel

2011-12-06T06:25:00.001-07:00

“I cannot help laughing at the aesthetical folks,” said Goethe, “who torment themselves in endeavoring, by some abstract words, to reduce to a conception that inexpressible thing to which we give the name of beauty. Beauty is a primeval phenomenon [Urphänomen], which itself never makes its appearance, but the reflection of which is visible in a thousand different utterances of the creative mind, and is as various as nature itself.”
After appropriating and re-mixing countless texts with the infamous Markov Text Generator, Van Buskirk is now exploring a “neo-classical” direction in appropriation (in contrast to the “Sturm und Drang” approach of remixing) by copy/pasting from an original text, as it exists, word for word directly into a word document for means of creating a novel.
“Kingdom of the Branch” is a direct appropriation of an interview of Robert Carlen conducted 1985 June 28-1985 July 16, by Catherine Stover, for the Archives of American Art.
Robert Carlen (b. 1906; d. 1990) was an art dealer of Philadelphia, Pa.
Carlen speaks of his early life including his studies at the Graphic Sketch Club and the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts; opening his gallery in 1937; the early years of the gallery; paintings he discovered over the years; collectors he worked with, including Albert Barnes and Meyer and Vivian Potamkin; other dealers; refugee artists; and the Philadelphia art scene.
These interviews are part of the Archives of American Art Oral History Program, started in 1958 to document the history of the visual arts in the United States, primarily through interviews with artists, historians, dealers, critics and others.

Excerpt:

CS: This is tape 1, side 1. Robert Carlen being interviewed by Catharine Stover for the Archives of American Art. The date is June 28, 1985. The interview is being conducted at the Carlen Galleries, 323 S. 16th Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The time is 2 p.m. I understand that you're from Indianapolis.

RC: Yeah, I was born out there.

CS: What year?

CS: 1906.

CS: And when did you come to Philadelphia?

CS: You know, I think it was a couple of years after that. We were having a lot of bad floods out there. You know, the river. My mother hadn't been well. She wanted to come east to get some medical advice and she was. . . she came here. She didn't like it out there; it was too lonely. It was all farmers.

CS: Did you live on a farm?

RC: We had a general store. We catered to the farmers. It was all Germans settling out there. So my mother decided she didn't want to come back. So we stayed here and my father tried to make a go here. See, it was very bad. You see, during the time there was an awful lot of business trouble. In fact, one of the worst things was we had a lot of trouble about money and financial, you know, difficulty, we had. It was very scarce and was an awful lot like the 1960's here and even the 1930's. So we stayed here.

CS: You came here as a child.

RC: Yes, as a child. But we lived outside the city. Fortunately we had a fair city bus then. We had neighbors like, ah, Booth Tarkington, and James Whitcomb Riley, the poet. We came east and never went back again.

CS: You've been in Philadelphia ever since?

RC: Yes, except a couple of years ago, I had to go back out there on business and it was the first time I saw Indianapolis. It was a very modern city.

CS: I understand that before you opened the gallery you had another career. Could you tell me a little bit about that?

RC: Yes, I had a job. I was . . . I took a job, I was secretary to a man in an engineering company here in the city. At that time I started going to art school at night time. I went quite a while to art school in the evenings.

CS: Which one?

RC: One of the ones, I went to the Philadelphia Art School at Broad and Pine, you know, and then I went to the one, the Graphic Sketch Club.

CS: I think that's called Fleisher Art Memorial.

RC: Sam Fleisher, yeah, that's the one.

CS: Did you know Mr. Fleisher?

RC: Oh, yes, I knew him very well. I knew a lot of the fellows that started there, I mean the painters who started there back in 1905 when I studied at the Graphic Sketch Club.

CS: Who were some of them?

RC: Lazar Raditz, a portrait painter. And ah, I remember a young painter, Leon Karp. And Bill Shulman, he's a very fine painter, and Joe Grossman and a black man there too, Julius Bloch. And Robert Suzanne and Fred Wagner and Leon Karp.

CS: Now, these artists you've been mentioning were students there at the same time you were?

RC: Yeah. A lot of very, very gifted young painters who started down there. Sam Heller, I think he made a fortune during the war painting all kinds of decorative things, you know, wall paintings and waste baskets and all kinds of trays. He made a fortune in the decorators. Somebody retired him he had a lot of money that he'd made . . .

CS: What was the Graphic Sketch Club like when you were starting?

RC: Well, it was a very . . . evenings they had classes and they hired some of the fellows who started out there and later became, you know, private, ah, professional artists came there and used to teach. It was a very good place to get a free education.

CS: Do you remember who some of the instructors were there?

RC: Let's see, I had . . . Joe Grossman was one of them and I had [Lazar] Raditz. We had a lot of them, you know. They weren't hired by the week; they'd come and go.

CS: And how frequently did you used to go to night school?

RC: I used to go every night after dinner. I used to go from 7 till 10 o'clock. It was very good. We had life class and a portrait class, training in drawing and all.

CS: Was it down there on Catharine Street where it is right now?

RC: Yeah, down there in the 800 block of Catharine Street. He left it to Philadelphia. Now it's part of the art museum.

CS: Did many of the other students also go every night?

RC: Yeah, they used to come very frequently. [INTERRUPTION -- SOMEONE LEAVING.] Then I used to work in the studio, Sam Heller's over weekends you know, when we met at the classes at the Graphic Sketch Club. Sam had a studio on Chestnut Street in the Alman Building.

CS: Do you still have any of the work that you did back then?

RC: Yeah, a couple of old things. [Goes to pull things out.] We couldn't afford to buy canvas. It was very expensive so we used to use . . . used to buy cardboard. We'd shellac it and use it.

CS: Is that the same thing that's known as academy board?

RC: No, no. Academy board, actually it was a cheap cotton canvas pasted onto a piece of cardboard. That's academy board.

CS: This is from the life class at Fleisher? [Looking at art work.]

RC: Yeah, we started going up at the Academy nights, you know. That was a big part a few years later.

CS: Were you also going to Fleisher at the same time?

RC: No. You know, when I had a chance, I'd run into the Academy of Fine Arts to their life class and, of course, at that time I had people like Daniel Garber. He was from Indiana too. I don't know where he was born. The art museum has a Daniel Garber. Well, enough to say . . . a few very good artists in those days. Oh, Frances Speight. He was teaching there too at the Academy and, I'm trying to think, someone else, and Redfield was teaching at the time. He painted landscapes.

CS: I know Redfield but I'm not positive that he taught there. Was he a visiting critic or was he on the staff there?

RC: He was teaching there, I think he was on the staff. And, um, all those different fellows taught there.

CS: At the time were you hoping to pursue a career as a painter?

RC: I was hoping only I had . . . I knew, studying, I couldn't start making money especially but . . . . It wasn't very easy, you know, trying to make a living off art. There were so many professional painters around who were having a hell of a time. Then, of course, what came up then, that was '27, '28, '29. And then the American Artists Group came along with their prints, signed and unsigned, unlimited editions, and to me it seemed people that couldn't afford to pay very much for things. It was a real opportunity. I mean you could buy things very cheap. Some of the prints from the American Artist Group, I think it was $1.75 a piece.

CS: Were they very popular?

RC: Well, except the idea that they were original works of art but they weren't signed -- autographed by the artists. They were an unlimited edition; they pulled as many as they could. People started buying them and I was one of the first agents.

CS: How did it come about that you started to sell those?

RC: I was . . . needed to make some extra money for my art supplies and they never were very cheap. Canvas and paints were very expensive. I started selling prints only I had to learn to go around and try to go around.

CS: You say you went around. You mean you went door to door?

RC: I went to see people, sure.

CS: People you knew?

RC: Yeah. Houses selling the idea we were giving the chance to buy something with merit. It was very cheap to buy these prints; they weren't photographs and they were an edition. And then, of course, the other group came along when they saw about that group a couple of years later, Associated American Artists. They started a new group but signed. Now people signed and they were limited editions to a maximum of 250 prints to each plate, tops. I sold a lot of those to people. I sold them the idea they were a good thing to collect. Among those prints I sold back in the days for $2.75 a piece, some of them today are worth $1,000. Grant Wood and Thomas Benton signed ones, today some are worth $1200 or $1500.

CS: What was the price range that they sold for, the signed ones, back then?

RC: They paid 5 dollars in those days. If it was by a man like Thomas Benton, he didn't make very many for the American Artists Group and He was a member of that group. He'd make a plate for them and what they would do is, he would do the plate, it was a perfect stone. And then he would sell it outright, the plate, to the American Artists Group, and he would get . . . what did he get? $200 for a plate, and they would pull the proofs from them, print them up, and then he would sign them, autograph them. They'd sell them for $2.75. Someone could have made a million.

CS: Who were some of the other artists who were in the signed editions?

RC: A number of Americans, you know, John Steuart Curry, he was a member of that group, Peggy Bacon, Wanda Gag [pause] Alexander Brook, he was married to Peggy Bacon; he was a very good artist. Luigi Lucciono, a landscape painter from up in Maine or Connecticut, up there in New England. It was amazing. It was a good thing for the artist, I mean, he would do the plate and sell it outright and got paid for it and then the rest was up to them, you know. They printed an edition, as many as they could get, until the plate chips or wears out nad then they stopped, you see, selling these things like they were drypoint and then drypoint you can't get a great number of prints, you know, from the plate, the plate wears out very quickly. So some of them you only got 10 proofs. These artists we mentioned, Joe Hirsch was another one, a Philadelphia boy. You know, he died recently.

CS: No, I didn't.

RC: Joe Hirsch, yeah. He was in his sixties. Another name was Fred Wagner. His show's opening at the Newman Gallery today. Sam Heller had a studio in the Alman Building, 15th and Chestnut, right next door was Fred Wagner's studio. He used to . . . sitting there all day long with different canvases of Philadelphia views. He painted a lot of winter scenes. Now you should see the price of . . .you should see the price for a Redfield today, I'm amazed. Newman Gallery had them priced $35,000. Years ago, you couldn't sell those paintings.

CS: You sold the prints to people you knew?

RC: Yeah.

CS: Were you in this gallery then or that came a little later?

RC: No, not in the gallery then. I started selling them, you know; I didn't have the gallery yet so I used to go around to see these people.

CS: Were you still working at your other job?

RC: Oh, yes. I was still going to that; I was working at a brokerage house.

CS: This is after you left the engineering firm.

RC: Yes, after I left the engineering firm. That was why I started, after I left the engineering firm, I started going to school in the daytime at the Academy. I tried to save up some money and I thought could work then. Unfortunately, my father was hit by an automobile, he was crippled, and I had to go to work again. Before then, I worked a couple months going to day school at the Academy. I was going to day school at 9 o'clock in the morning till 2 o'clock in the evening and I went home and got dinner and then worked after dinner. At 7 o'clock I'd come back to the Academy and go to the night class so I took advantage of both day and night, I mean.

CS: That was a heavy schedule. I guess you didn't have time to sell the prints.

RC: Yeah, I was trying to sell the prints. When they'd come out over the weekend, I'd go around and see doctors and lawyers.

CS: Before you started selling the prints, did you have any sales experience at all?

RC: No, no, I didn't, no experience. Just busy being a student principally. I started when I opened the gallery in 1934. The first thing I started selling was color reproductions, very good ones from France and Germany, some by Monet, and Degas, you know, these color prints. People knew the names, you know, they'd usually sell. And then when I got in this place here, in the house, I started the gallery. I first rented the back gallery to a girl who started a gallery. She was copying herself as the ACA, American Contemporary Arts, selling these paintings, she used the back gallery.

CS: What was her name?

RC: Selber? Silverman? [Reuben]

CS: About how long was she in Philadelphia?

RC: She . . . for years, she went back, I mean, not at the gallery. Her husband was a medical student and they had a lot of friends in the profession, ah, people. So she thought she could start running an art gallery so I rented her the back gallery so we put on exhibitions of contemporary artists.

CS: She was back there and you had this room for your gallery? REC: What I usually sold was color reproductions and I let her have the commission for all that.

CS: Did you advertise?

- Todd Van Buskirk

A list of all my books...

2011-12-03T08:37:00.002-07:00

Browse Todd Van Buskirk's books on Amazon

Apple and Leo

Study of a Nude

The Way of Apple & Leo

The Pink Bunny

Research Paper

There is a comic panel on p.90

Born This Date and Died That Date

The 18th Century Transmits Itself from Outer Space

Richard Catholic Susan Protestant

On The Exploration of Interrupts

The Butterfly Girl

The Swirling Mists of Autumn

Tantrums of the Sun

Phoenix Died

The Rochester Public Library

False Barnyard

Evangel United Methodist Church

John Marshall High School 1989

Fade To Vegetables

Bridge To Indians

Election, My Love

Soul Made Beautiful

Rochelle's name is seen on p.120

Sunset Shuts My Question Down

Fake Faerie Wings

Unnamed cartoon character doesn't exist within the panel on p.46

There are two comic panels on p.76

Chosen One Blues

A world where the sun is locked in an eternal sunset

creating with punctuation removed in space

Twin Galaxies: Space Walk With God

There is a sentence on p.120

A paragraph on every page except p.120

Swedish Frog

January Knees

The Celestial Marketplace of Lutefisk

Wild Honey in Stereo

Trash Hands

Remember the Zoo?

Prelude To Fade

Living in Utah With My Husband and Two Kids

Countess Caroline

Arctic White Lifetime

White Chickens

mary arguments

Garbage and the Neurologist

Think, and You Think Alone

Orange God

Rockenrollll

How I Discovered David Lynch's Blue Velvet

Harlley Moma

Club Medusa

A Life of Anton Webern

Looking for Individuals

- Todd Van Buskirk

Looking for Individuals: a new novel

2011-12-03T07:37:00.001-07:00

The need to find an individual. The need to work for somebody. The need to make money. The need to land a job.

A job description is a description of an unknown future. It is a hopeful advertisement of a future that can become reality. Yet, in today’s market, this need is scarce, a frustration of reality, a frustration of the future.

In his new novel, “Looking for Individuals,” Todd Van Buskirk appropriated hundreds of job descriptions from his employer's job site to create a meditation on the need to find somebody to work in today's world. These descriptions are interested in a person’s skill, but not the soul. Therefore, these descriptions are lamentations, and sad lyrical statements of a perceived loss.

Excerpt:

Position Summary: Cleans patient rooms and support areas throughout the hospital and off-site UMC locations.

Minimum Qualifications: Ability to read and follow written and verbal directions in English in order to perform the

essential functions of the position.
Position Summary: A 36-bed unit providing care for patients from infants to 18 years of age. Medical specialties include

cardiology, orthopedics, neurology, gastroenterology, trauma, endocrinology, nephrology pediatric pulmonary,

transplantation, and general pediatrics. A child advocacy, multidisciplinary approach enables the staff to best serve the

patients and families. Position Summary: Provides basic age appropriate nursing care to patients, following accepted nursing

practices, UMC policies & procedures, and physician's prescriptions.

Minimum Qualifications: Must be licensed or eligible to become licensed to practice professional nursing in the state of

Arizona. Must have one year of experience in an acute care hospital as an RN.

Preferred Qualifications: Pediatric experience preferred.

Job Summary: Receives, processes and transmits information/data per established departmental procedures for Dietary,

housekeeping, and transport. Manages the timely completion of all tasks paged through the Interserv© system. Must be

customer service driven and be able to work any shift, weekends and holidays.

Reports to the Resource Center Manager. Ability to work under minimal supervision and accomplish tasks in a fast paced

environment following departmental guidelines. Follows established procedures. Must be organized and perform all functions

related to clerical and dispatching duties including computer processing answering phones, dispatching personnel, processing

patient menus, and other clerical functions. Works closely with Supervisors and Managers, monitoring employees on pagers

for compliance with Interserv© systems and procedures. Will also maintain patient nutrition kardex and process various

reports, schedules and work orders. Will work closely with team member to meet the needs of the Resource Center.

Minimum Requirements: Must successfully complete the required training program within the defined probationary period. Must

have the ability to communicate effectively with clients, customers, patients and staff. Must have the ability to understand

the essential functions of the job to successfully perform job requirements. Ability to speak, read and write English

required.

Position Summary: Under close supervision assists with configuring and supporting information systems. Responsible for

setting up end user security and table maintenance for assigned applications. Assists with training and documentation

related to assigned applications.

Essential Functions:
- Works in conjunction with a Senior Systems Analyst or Project Manager to serve as an ISS contact and resource for assigned

user departments and develops understanding of business and information requirements.
- Assists with on-going support, problem diagnosis, and problem resolution related to existing information systems.
- Under direction of a senior analyst or project manager, assists user departments in user training, documentation, and

development of policies and procedures related to information systems.
- Maintains end user system security in compliance with information systems security policies and procedures.

Minimum Qualifications: Associate’s degree in business, management information systems, liberal arts or clinical specialty.

Note: Two years experience in systems development or support may substitute for degree.

Medical Technologist

Position Summary: Performs and reports results of diagnostic patient tests on all types of biological specimens, using

established policies and procedures that may include sophisticated computerized or microprocessor controlled electronic

equipment. Is responsible for daily quality control and maintenance of equipment used in this testing. Trouble-shooting of

analytical test systems and training of new personnel, students and residents is expected.

Minimum Qualifications: Bachelor's degree in Medical Technology or allied health field. Eligible for national certification

in related allied health field. Combination of education and experience will be considered.

OR

Certified Medical Laboratory Technician

Position Summary: Performs and reports results of diagnostic patient tests on all types of biological specimens, using

established policies and procedures that may include sophisticated computerized or microprocessor controlled electronic

equipment. Is responsible for daily quality control, quality assurance and maintenance of equipment used in this testing.

Minimum Qualifications: Completion of a certified medical laboratory technician program. One year internship in clinical

pathology preferred. Must obtain medical laboratory technician certification within 6 months of hire; Division Manager may

extend up to an additional six months for extenuating circumstances.
Oversees all administrative direction of the medical staff offices, Faculty Practice Plan credentialing and Primary Source

Verification Unit (PSVU). Maintains compliance with applicable regulatory agencies, i.e., Centers for Medicare/Medicaid

Services (CMS), The Joint Commission (TJC), and the National Committee for Quality Assurance (NCQA); federal and state

regulations; bylaws, rules and regulations of the medical staffs and hospitals and policies and procedures of the PSVU and

faculty practice plan credentialing department. Serves as key liaison activities between administration and medical staff

leadership.

Minimum Requirements:

Bachelor’s Degree in Medical Staff Services, Medical Staff Management (MSSM), or related field; or an equivalent of at least

an Associate’s Degree with seven (7) years managerial experience in a medical staff services/credentialing department.
Ten years of hospital/healthcare administration experience preferably with at least five in supervisory or managerial role.
Affiliation with the National Association Medical Staff Services (NAMSS) and the Arizona Association Medical Staff Services

(AMSS).
Certification by NAMSS as a Certified Professional Medical Staff Management (CPMSM) and/or Certified Practitioner

Credentialing Specialist (CPCS) or achievement of such certification within a designated time frame.

Knowledge, Skills, Abilities:

Knowledge of CMS Conditions of Participation, TJC standards, and NCQA standards.
Knowledge of federal and state regulations and requirements regarding credentialing and related healthcare requirements.
Knowledge of faculty hiring policies and procedures.
Skill in advanced computer technology and database management including credentialing software and Microsoft Office

programs.
Skill in professional business written and verbal communications and minute-taking.
Skill in providing leadership, self-motivation, and maintaining interpersonal relationships with individuals at all levels

in the organization.
Skill in managing and supervising professional staff.
Skill in providing strong analytical and problem solving solutions to issues.
Ability organize, plan, strategize and prioritize work of program needs and staff both short term and long term for future

quality improvement.
Ability to think globally with regard to larger organization in addition to department and division in providing oversight

and solutions.
Ability to adapt to changes in the organization and health care environment.
Ability to plan and manage budgets.

POSITION SUMMARY:
This position coordinates care for patients receiving Home Infusion Therapy to assure positive outcome; performing

coordination for patients who are referred for home infusion services. You will collaborate with Clinical Pharmacists,

Pharmacists and Physicians regarding drug therapy problems and order changes working closely with the patient and /or

caregiver, Home Health Nurse, Pharmacist and delivery personnel regarding supplying, re-supplying, delivery and pick up of

all Home Infusion Therapy materials.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS:
RN with current AZ RN license required with 2-3 years’ Infusion therapy experience and a background in clinical nursing with

IV therapy skills. Ability to prioritize patient care needs in a fast-paced setting with attention to detail. Good writing

and computer skills are essential.

PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS:
Home health experience.
Position Summary: This position ensures that patient registration, appointment scheduling, inquiries, patient check-in and

check-out are processed accurately, timely and in accordance with UAHN policies and quality standards; including site

specific guidelines.

This position may require assessing patient financial obligations and providing patients with the information necessary to

understand and meet their financial obligations to UAHN.

Qualifications: This position is responsible for financial case management for each scheduled service to maximize

reimbursement. Strong problem solving skills and the ability to independently manage and prioritize a high workload volume.

Accuracy and attention to detail is essential, as is the ability to handle multiple tasks and follow policies and

procedures. I year experience in a medical office setting and/or a graduate from an accredited vocational program.

Familiarity with IDX perferred. Bilingual skills (English/Spanish) preferred.

Position Summary: Performs chemical, microscopic and bacteriologic tests, examinations, and analyses in one or more areas of

specialization within clinical laboratory pathologysuch as chemistry, hematology, urinalysis, blood bank, microbiology, and

serology in a high complexity laboratory.

QUALIFICATIONS: An Associate’s degree from an accredited college or university with a major in medical laboratory science,

biology, chemistry, or related science.Certification as a Medical Laboratory Technician with the Registry of Medical

Laboratory Technician from the American Society of Clinical Pathologists, OR equivalent certification by a recognized health

agency (e.g. HEW, AMT, NCA); OR currently eligible to sit for the Medical Lab Technician Certification exam and receive the

certification within twelve (12) months from the date of hire. Preferable one year of experience in clinical laboratory

setting OR successful completion of a medical technologist proficiency examination given by the Department of Health and

Human
POSITION SUMMARY: Assist therapist in checking on patients, cleaning of rooms and equipment, and ordering of supplies.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS:High school degree or equivalent certificate. Effective verbal and written communication skills.

PREFERRED QUALIFICATIONS: Computer skills and one year experience in rehabilitation field preferred.

3NW | Intermediate Care | Oncology/Hematology/Bone Marrow Transplant

3NW is a 29-bed unit with 21 bone marrow transplant rooms for adult BMT patients and 8 hematology/oncology rooms. The

majority of patients have solid tumors or hematological cancer. Bone marrow patients include Hodgkin's, non-Hodgkin's

lymphomas, leukemia, and certain solid tumors such as breast cancer. Nurses care for both autograft and allograft BMT

patients. They also care for patients receiving high dose Interleukin-2 IV therapy. Specialized nursing care required for

our patients helps create the autonomy, professionalism and collaboration that exists with our multidisciplinary team. There

is always opportunity for learning the latest trends in the science of nursing and medicine while perfecting the art of

caring for our very special patient population.

- Todd Van Buskirk

A Life of Anton Webern: a new book!

2011-11-29T07:16:00.001-07:00

On the surface, this book has nothing to do with Viennese composer Anton Webern, but what if Anton Webern had a past life as a Dominican monk in the middle ages? What if at one point in time he lived the same life 11 times? What if he got stuck in time like Bill Murray in that Groundhog movie?

Anton Webern (3 December 1883 – 15 September 1945) was an Austrian composer and conductor. He was a member of the Second Viennese School. As a student and significant follower of Arnold Schoenberg, he became one of the best-known exponents of the twelve-tone technique; in addition, his innovations regarding schematic organization of pitch, rhythm and dynamics were formative in the musical technique later known as total serialism.

Webern's music was denounced as "cultural Bolshevism" and "degenerate art" by the Nazi Party in Germany, even before the Austrian Anschluss of 1938.[2] Although Webern had sharply attacked Nazi cultural policies in private lectures given in 1933, their intended publication did not take place at that time, which proved fortunate since this later "would have exposed Webern to serious consequences."[3] As a result of official disapproval, he found it harder (though at no stage impossible) to earn a living, and had to take on work as an editor and proofreader for his publishers, Universal Edition.

It was thanks to the Swiss philanthropist Werner Reinhart that Webern was able to attend the festive premiere of his Variations for Orchestra, Op. 30 in Winterthur, Switzerland in 1943. Reinhart invested all the financial and diplomatic means at his disposal to enable Webern to travel to Switzerland. In return for this support, Webern dedicated the work to him.[4]

He left Vienna near the end of the war, and moved to Mittersill in Salzburg, believing he would be safer there. On 15 September 1945, during the Allied occupation of Austria, he was shot and killed by an American Army soldier following the arrest of his son-in-law for black market activities, when, despite the curfew in effect, he stepped outside the house to enjoy a cigar so as not to disturb his sleeping grandchildren.

Eckhart von Hochheim O.P. (c. 1260 – c. 1327), commonly known as Meister Eckhart, was a German theologian, philosopher and mystic, born near Gotha, in the Landgraviate of Thuringia in the Holy Roman Empire. Meister is German for "Master", referring to the academic title Magister in theologia he obtained in Paris. Coming into prominence during the Avignon Papacy and a time of increased tensions between the Franciscans and Eckhart's Dominican Order of Friars Preachers, he was brought up on charges later in life before the local Franciscan-led Inquisition.

Tried as a heretic by Pope John XXII, his "Defence" is famous for his reasoned arguments to all challenged articles of his writing and his refutation of heretical intent. He purportedly died before his verdict was received, although no record of his death or burial site has ever been discovered. He was well known for his work with pious lay groups such as the Friends of God and succeeded by his more circumspect disciples of John Tauler and Henry Suso[citation needed]. In his study of medieval humanism, Richard Southern includes him along with Saint Bede the Venerable and Saint Anselm as emblematic of the intellectual spirit of the Middle Ages.

At over 500 pages, this book is an epic consideration. The idea of this book is to copy and paste (word for word) a complete book of sermons by Meister Eckert 11 times in a row, and attribute the text to Anton Webern.

Available soon as a free PDF, and as a paperback on Amazon.

Excerpt:

PREFACE

"Meister Eckhart," who has been called the "Father of German thought," was a Dominican monk, and one of the most profound thinkers of the Middle Ages. He was born about 1260 A.D. in Thuringia, and died at Cologne 1327 A.D. In 1295 he was Prior of the Dominicans at Erfurt and Vicar-General of Thuringia. In 1300 he was sent to the University of Paris, where he studied Aristotle and the Platonists, and took the degree of Master of Arts. It is possible also that he taught at Paris. He already had a wide reputation as a philosopher, and was summoned to Rome in 1302 to assist Pope Boniface VIII. in his struggle against Philip the Fair. In 1304 he became Provincial of his order for Saxony,and in 1307 Vicar-General of Bohemia. In 1311 he was sent again to act as professor of theology in the school of Dominicans in Paris, and afterwards in Strasburg. Everywhere his teaching and preaching left a deep mark. At Strasburg he aroused suspicions and created enemies; his doctrine was accused of resembling that of the heretical sects of the "Beghards" and "Brothers of the Holy Spirit." The Superior-General of the Order had his writings submitted to a close examination by the Priors of Worms and Mayence. The history of this episode is very obscure. It appears that Eckhart was cited before the tribunal of the
Inquisition at Cologne, and that he professed himself willing to withdraw anything that his writings might contain contrary to the teaching of the Church. The matter was referred to the Pope, who, in 1329, condemned certain propositions extracted from the writings of Eckhart two years after the death of the latter.

The importance of Eckhart in the history of scholastic philosophy is considerable. At that period all the efforts of religious philosophy were directed to widen theology, and to effect a reconciliation between reason and faith. The fundamental idea of Eckhart's philosophy is that of the Absolute or Abstract Unity conceived as the sole real existence. His God is the Theos agnostos of the neoplatonists: He is absolutely devoid of attributes which would be a limitation of His Infinity. God is incomprehensible; in fact, with regard to our limited intelligence,God is the origin and final end of every being. How then, it may be asked, can God be a Person? The answer is, that by the eternal generation of the Son the Father becomes conscious of Himself, and the Love reflected back to the Father by the Son is the Holy Spirit. Together with the Son, God also begets the ideal forms of created things. The Absolute is thus the common background of God and the Universe. Like as the Son does, so everything born of God tends to
return to Him, and to lose itself in the unity of His Being.

This theology is really Pantheism. Of the Absolute we have no cognizance but only of phenomena, but by the resolute endeavour to abstract ourselves from time and space, we can, according to Eckhart,at rare moments, attain to the Absolute by virtue of what he calls "the spark" (Funkelein) of the soul, which comes direct from God. This is really God acting in man; to know God is to be one with God. This is the final end of all our activity, and the means of attaining thereto is complete quietism. But Eckhart shrank from carrying his doctrines out to their extreme logical conclusion, though some of the more fanatical among his followers did so. On account of his insistence on the immediacy of man's approach to God, apart from Church institutions he may be justly regarded as a fore-runner of the Reformation.

Note.—The best account of Eckhart in English is probably to be found in Vaughan's "Hours with the Mystics," vol. I.

I

THE ATTRACTIVE POWER OF GOD

St. John VI. 44. "No one can come unto Me, except the Father which hath sent Me draw him."

Our Lord Jesus Christ hath in the Gospel spoken with His own blessed
lips these words, which signify, "No man can come to Me unless My
Father draw him." In another place He says, "I am in the Father and the
Father in Me." Therefore whoever cometh to the Son cometh to the
Father. Further, He saith, "I and the Father are One. Therefore
whomsoever the Father draweth, the Son draweth likewise."
St. Augustine
also saith, "The works of the Holy Trinity are inseparable from each
other." Therefore the Father draweth to the Son, and the Son draweth to
the Holy Ghost, and the Holy Ghost draweth to the Father and the Son;
and each Person of the Trinity, when He draweth to the Two Others,
draweth to Himself, because the Three are One. The Father draweth with
the might of His power, the Son draweth with His unfathomable wisdom,
the Holy Ghost draweth with His love. Thus we are drawn by the Sacred
Trinity with the cords of Power, Wisdom and Love, when we are drawn
from an evil thing to a good thing, and from a good thing to a better,
and from a better thing to the best of all. Now the Father draws us
from the evil of sin to the goodness of His grace with the might of His
measureless power, and He needs all the resources of His strength in
order to convert sinners, more than when He was about to make heaven
and earth, which He made with His own power without help from any
creature. But when He is about to convert a sinner, He always needs the
sinner's help. "He converts thee not without thy help," as
St. Augustine
says.

Therefore deadly sin is a breach of nature, a death of the soul, a
disquiet of the heart, a weakening of power, a blindness of the sense,
a sorrow of the spirit, a death of grace, a death of virtue, a death of
good works, an aberration of the spirit, a fellowship with the devil,
an expulsion of Christianity, a dungeon of hell, a banquet of hell, an
eternity of hell. Therefore, if thou committest a deadly sin thou art
guilty of all these and incurrest their consequences. Regarding the
first point: Deadly sin is a breach of nature, for every man's nature
is an image and likeness and mirror of the Trinity, of Godhead and of
eternity. All these together are marred by a deadly sin; therefore, it
is a breach of nature. Such sin is also the death of the soul, for
death is to lose life. Now God is the life of the soul, and deadly sin
separates from God; therefore it is a death of the soul. Deadly sin is
also a disquiet of the heart, for everything rests nowhere except in
its own proper place; and the proper resting-place of the soul is
nowhere except in God as St. Augustine saith, "Lord! Thou hast made us
for Thyself, therefore we may not rest anywhere save in Thee." Deadly
sin is also a weakening of the powers, for by his own power no one can
throw off the load of sin nor restrain himself from committing sin. It
is also a blindness of the sense, for it prevents a man recognizing how
brief is the space of time that can be spent in the pleasure of
voluptuousness, and how long are the pains of hell and the joys of
heaven. Deadly sin is also a death of all grace, for whenever such a
sin is committed, the soul is bereft of all grace. Similarly, it is the
death of all virtue and good works, and an aberration of the spirit.

It is also a fellowship with the Devil, for everything hath fellowship
with its like; and sin maketh the soul and Satan resemble each other.
It is also an expulsion of Christianity, for it depriveth the sinner of
all the profit that comes from Christianity. It is also a dungeon of
hell, for if the soul remain in the purity in which God created her,
neither angel nor devil may rob her of her freedom. But sin confines it
in hell. Sin is also an eternity of hell, for eternity is in the will,
and were it not in the will, it would not be in the consciousness.

Now, people say when they commit sin, that they do not intend to do so
always; they intend to turn away from sin. That is just as though a man
were to kill himself and suppose that he could make himself alive again
by his own strength. That is, however, impossible; but to turn from sin
by one's own power and come to God is still much more impossible.
Therefore, whosoever is to turn from sin and come to God in His
heavenly kingdom, must be drawn by the heavenly Father with the might
of His divine power. The Father also draws the Son who comes to help us
with His grace, by stimulating our free will to turn away from, and
hate sin, which has drawn us aside from God, and from the immutable
goodness of the Godhead. Then, if she is willing, He pours the gift of
His grace into the soul, which renounces all her misery and sin, and
all her works become living. Now, this grace springs from the centre of
Godhead and the Father's heart, and flows perpetually, nor ever ceases,
if the soul obeys His everlasting love. Therefore He saith in the
prophets: "I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with
loving kindness have I drawn thee." Out of the overflow of His
universal love He desires to draw all to Himself, and to His
Only-begotten Son, and to the Holy Ghost in the joy of the heavenly
kingdom. Now, we should know that before our Lord Jesus Christ was
born, the Heavenly Father drew men with all His might for five
thousand, two hundred years; and yet, as far as we know, brought not
one into the heavenly kingdom. So, when the Son saw that the Father had
thus strongly drawn men and even wearied Himself, and yet not
succeeded, He said to the Father: "I will draw them with the cords of a
man." It was as though He said, "I see well, Father, that Thou with all
Thy might, canst not succeed, therefore will I myself draw them with
the cords of a man."

Therefore the Son came down from heaven, and was incarnate of a Virgin,
and took upon Him all our bodily weaknesses, except sin and folly, into
which Adam had cast us; and out of all His words and works and limbs
and nerves, He made a cord, and drew us so skillfully, and so heartily,
that the bloody sweat poured from His sacred Body. And when He had
drawn men without ceasing for three and thirty years, He saw the
beginnings of a movement and the redemption of all things that would
follow. Therefore He said, "And I, if I be lifted up on the Cross, will
draw all men unto Me." Therefore He was stretched upon the Cross, and
laid aside all His glory, and whatever might hinder His drawing men.

Now, there are three natural means of attraction with which Christ on
the Cross drew to Himself between the third and the ninth hour, more
people than He had drawn before during the three and thirty years of
His life. The first means by which He draws is affinity, that affinity
which brings creatures of the same species together, and like to its
like. With this cord of affinity he drew men to the Godhead, Whom He
always resembles. In order that God may draw more to Himself, and
forget His wrath, the Son saith, "Beloved Father, seeing that Thou
wouldest not forgive sins because of all the former sacrifices offered,
lo I, Thine Only begotten Son, Who resemble Thy Godhead in all things,
in Whom Thou hast hidden all the riches of divine love, I come to the
Cross, that I may be a living sacrifice before Thine eyes; that out of
Thy fatherly compassion Thou mayest bend and look on Me, Thine only
Son, and on My Blood flowing from My wounds, and slake the fiery sword
with which in the angel's hands Thou hast barred the way to Paradise,
that all who have repented and bewailed their sins through Me, may
enter therein."

The second means of attraction which He used is Emptiness, as we see
when we place one end of a hollow pipe in water, and draw up it by
suction; the water runs up the stem to the mouth, because the emptiness
of the pipe, from which the air has been drawn, draws the water to
itself. So Our Lord Jesus Christ made Himself empty that He might
wisely draw all things to Himself. Therefore He let all the blood that
was in His Body flow out, and so attracted to Himself all the
compassion and grace that was in His Father's heart, so completely and
profitably as to suffice for the whole world. Accordingly, the Father
said, "My compassion will I never forget," and further, "Now, My Son,
be bold and strong that Thou mayest lead the people altogether into the
land which I have promised, the land of heavenly joys, the land which
floweth with the honey of My Godhead, and with the milk of Thy
manhood."

The third means of attraction is this—that as we see the sun draw up
the mists from the earth to heaven, so the heart of our Lord Jesus
Christ waxed hot as a fiery furnace upon the Cross, so fiercely burned
the flame of love which He felt towards the whole world. Thus, with the
heat of His love, from which nothing could be hidden, so intense was
it—He drew the whole world to Himself. Never did our Lord Jesus Christ
display such great love as when He suffered the torture of the Cross
when He gave His life for us, and washed our sins with His precious
Blood. Therefore with the cords of Love, He drew us all to Himself upon
the Cross that those who feel the drawing of His death and martyrdom
might live with Him in everlasting felicity.

Now when the Holy Spirit saw that the Only Begotten Son of the Father
had drawn so wisely that He had won to Himself all things in heaven and
earth, He also felt impelled by His own love and kindness to draw.
Therefore He said, "I will also draw with My cords and My net." So He
made a net of the seven high attributes of the Father, of the seven
graces of the Son, of His own seven gifts, and of the seven Christian
virtues. Thus He assures us that we shall never perish, for we are so
caught by His goodness that He expels from us all the evil works of the
flesh, and produces in us His fruits, so that we gain the reward of
everlasting life. May the Father of His love, and the Son of His grace,
and the Holy Spirit with His fellowship, grant us to be worthy of the
same. Amen.

-Todd Van Buskirk

Club Medusa: a novel

2011-11-28T12:47:00.001-07:00

“Later that evening we headed down to "Club Medusa" to boogy-down. Friday evening: Spent most of the awesome friendships i've made here and the one you love during the first Thanksgiving we managed to clear all the food on the same day....yuck. After I had chili and cheese with tortilla chips. Then headed back home to Everett to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will result in a few... Rest of the month. "Wow, this couldn't be more right on the dating circle from hell. All I have to say besides everything else is just something so satisfying about me driving a big hype for the next few hours praising the porcelain god. At first I thought you may have given me more dryer sheets, but Kai convinced me that the gift was definetly cooler than dryer sheets.”

Join Todd Van Buskirk on an off-road journey of humanity, found on the "LJ Markov Random Text Generator" website. By typing a random first name into the markov text generator, this website finds an RSS Live Journal feed and mixes the text according to a markov chain model of random text generation. The finished results are wonderful new journals of lives never existing, but seemingly real. A dream pulled together from appropriated text and mathematics!

Excerpt:

After I had basically cleaned my entire system out I spent most of my life. On a more positive note, all this great experience i've obtained working in various fields of law: Corporate, Civil, International and Intellectual Property will help me focus on my career of becoming a well-established lawyer. For some people this may sound boring, but I really love the Specialized 2005 Dolce Vita, but it's going to be a pretty relaxing day considering the big mailing to our investors got postponed until next season. There goes my Thursday night tv nights! On a more positive, happy note....I went bike shopping for a bike, but it's going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is one of the most for my money. I'll probably do more shopping and researching this week and try to narrow down my choices by the weekend. I luck to have a break from this rain, and the sun is out to make our own sushi!! Should be fun! I've come up with a dance routine for Student night at the end of the evening includes doing laundry and reading "Harry Potter"...trying to finish the book in the pm really kicked my butt. It was fun looking for something that totally catches your eye and you need to vent....I feel like my boss dumps so much work on me that the gift was definetly cooler than dryer sheets. It still makes me laugh to this day, Eli ;). Thursday : For starters I had basically cleaned my entire system out I spent most of my favorite place to go in Seattle. Now, i'm really stuffed and ready to watch "24" in a short time-span of 48 hours. Saturday: Around 4am I spent most of my life. On a more positive note I can continue to watch "24" in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are interested in until you hit your 30's! I'm excited for the past 22yrs. That all changed when I went home this weekend since the University Street Fair starts this weekend...yay!!! These are super funny and thought they would be worth sharing... 10. The cucumber has left the building. 5. The Buick is not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she wants to think that maybe I could be spending too much in the am and belly dancing in the beginning. Today, i'll have an easy workout with "competitive" yoga with the fam (which is always an event in itself) and eating lots of food. This year there are issues that need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will result in a short time-span of 48 hours. Saturday: Around 4am I spent the next week or so. Enjoy the sunshine and i'll keep you posted :) -Anita WORDS WOMEN USE FINE This is not a statement, it is that you have offended her in some negatives for Mexico pics and get prescriptions for contacts so I can finally see ld when i'm on the table. I never thought it was a bit frustrated with the girls, Amanda and Amy. Tomorrow, i'll wake up early and go swimming. Ok, gotta get some work done... This is not all the food on the road. Wondering if this weather will finally turn around for the triatholon this summer. I've decided how much I miss doing short runs, marathons and want to try something different. This weekend i'll probably by a cucumber chutney. My stomach is ready to watch "24" in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with 'Fine' GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't think you're old until you hit your 30's! I'm excited for the party tomorrow night we're all going to cost almost 1000 bucks. I've shopped around a few other bikes that are quite a bit frustrated with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a new schedule for myself starting today. If I survive this week...Mission Accomplished, otherwise....I drown and must rethink the following: Monday: AM- Running (30 min) Crunches (10-15min) PM- Belly Dance Class 7-8pm Tuesday: AM- Swimming (30-40 min) PM- Competitive Yoga (60 min); Weights Wednesday: AM- Running (30 min) Crunches (10-15min) PM- Belly Dance Class 7-8pm Tuesday: AM- Swimming (30-40min) PM- Competitive Yoga (60 min); Weights Wednesday: AM- Running (30 min); Crunches (10-15min) PM- Relax Thursday: AM- Swimming (30-40 min) PM- Competitive Yoga (60 min); Weights Wednesday: AM- Running (30 min); Crunches (10-15min) PM- Belly Dance Class 7-8pm Tuesday: AM- Swimming (30-40 min) PM- Competitive Yoga (60 min); Weights Wednesday: AM- Running (30 min); Crunches (10-15min) PM- Relax Thursday: AM- Swimming (30-40min) PM- Competitive Yoga (60 min); Weights Wednesday: AM- Running (30 min); Crunches (10-15min) PM- Relax Thursday: AM- Swimming (30-40min) PM- Competitive Yoga (60 min); Weights Friday: AM- Light workout PM- Party!! Good luck to have one of the awesome friendships i've made here and the incredible view from my work. Speaking of which...i'm extremely bored with my family. We had this amazing dinner that consisted of my friends are either married or engaged and i'm loving every minute of having such an awesome view from my work. Speaking of which...i'm extremely bored with my family. We had this amazing dinner that consisted of my friends are either married or engaged and i'm loving every minute of having such an awesome view from our floor. There really hasn't been too long since i've last updated my journal, so I can see something that you have done. "That's Okay" THANKS A LOT This is a dare
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman looks - this will be the big mailing to our investors got postponed until next season. There goes my Thursday night tv nights! On a more positive note, all this great experience i've obtained working in various fields of law: Corporate, Civil, International and Intellectual Property will help me focus on my career of becoming a well-established lawyer. For some people this may not be the first three weeks of January. While this may not be the first Thanksgiving we managed to clear all the way in the near future, you are going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I just hope that I will be the vision you had for your relationship in the am and belly dancing in the next 25 years of my 8 week belly-dance class. At first I thought you may have given me more dryer sheets, but Kai convinced me that the gift was definetly cooler than dryer sheets. It still makes me laugh to this day, Eli ;). Thursday : For starters I had yummy cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then strolled the streets between various the various shopping centers. The Christmas tree in front of Westlake was a combination of what i'd consumed on thurs. and Friday. I would not recommend consuming "Duck" and "Guacomole" burgers on the table. I never thought it was a bit frustrated with the boy in my occupation all together. If I end up in an insane asylum, you'll know why... I just finished a photo shoot for marketing our product...the ColdHeat Hot Seat. Soon, i'll be done by Friday. My parents drove me back to work! Just finished Pilates workout with "competitive" yoga with the girls, Amanda and Amy. Tomorrow, i'll wake up early and go swimming. Ok, gotta get some work done... This is the word women use to end an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the boy situation has taken over my immune system and now i'm feeling lousy. Hopefully, i'll be known all over the globe for advertising this brilliant product. Website should be a pretty relaxing day considering the big mailing to our investors got postponed until next week. Today we will celebrate my friend, Amanda, birthday. She calls herself an old lady since she's 28 but I don't think you're old until you hit your 30's! I'm excited for the best. Obviously there are issues that need to bring your tray table to the Superbowl! The rest of the day off, so everything is all good. Today, should be have my baby in town in the New Year, you must trust that this conflict is for the next few weeks, so I thought at this moment is the one! Why a Capricorn will work overtime to win your heart. Be prepared to get wined and dined, even once you're convince that your football game is going okay. Time to find my own place. My friend Sharon is coming to visit from California..yeah! Just had dinner with Kailani at Marlai's(yummy thai restaurant) near the U-village. I love thai food and this is one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will only tell you "Nothing" The highlights of this weekend were spending time with the word women use to end an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine' GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I just need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have a couple different bikes such as the WSD, Trek, and Specialized but still have yet to decide. I'm only looking to spend between 600-800 dollars but want to try something different. This weekend i'll probably by a bike...yeah!!! i'm so excited!! Men are from Venus. Holy Shi** is this one of my life. On a more positive note, all this great experience i've obtained working in various fields of law: Corporate, Civil, International and Intellectual Property will help me focus on my birthday. I listened to the cd on Friday morning and a few other bikes that are quite a bit frustrated with the boy situation because I just hope that I will be rewarded with intimacy like never before. The rewards come your way from January 22 through the end of my favorite shows is on hiatus because Steve Carrell (sorry for the party tomorrow night we're all going to be a nun! Just waiting for 5:30 to roll around so I can see something that rhymes with Venus. And the #1 Way to tell someone their zipper is unzipped..... 1. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary" Wow...So it's been several months since i've last update my journal. This year there are going to cost almost 1000 bucks. I've shopped around a few extra bucks for better quality parts. If anyone has some input on road bikes for amateur riders, then please let me know.... Yeah...the sun is out!! Yeah, I'm so tired of being put on "hold" or being part of a "priority" list that doesn't make me number one. Yes, i'm a bit of a disappointment considering there is such a big rig....POWER!!!! After I had my all time favorite "Guacamole Burger" at Red Robin. Later that evening we headed down to "Club Medusa" to boogy-down. Friday evening: Spent most of the game but belly-dance for me is like riding a bicycle...once you learn you never forget!! No, but seriously, i'm soooo exhausted today. I skipped my morning swim workout just so I can finally go home!!! Tonight I will be followed by the weekend. I luck to have
PLEASE DO This is one of the day reading "Harry Potter" (Almost finished with the fam.!!! Happy Holidays to Everyone :) This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the curb. Other news...job is going okay. Time to find my own place. My friend Sharon is coming to visit from California..yeah! Just had dinner with Kailani at Marlai's(yummy thai restaurant) near the U-village. I love thai food and this is just alarming news! I just finished a photo shoot for marketing our product...the ColdHeat Hot Seat. Soon, i'll be known all over the globe for advertising this brilliant product. Website should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of the day even brighter :). This morning we had meeting at 9:00 and guess what I want to be addressed, and this is my first road bike. I really wanted and could afford I decided to invest my time in looking for something that you have for doing whatever it is that you have done.You have a break from this rain, and the boy in my life to the length of Steve Carrell (sorry for the realization of how (Stu-pid) boys really are. I've been in and out of so many relationships that i'm just tired of dating the "wrong" guy and wish I could hit snooze like 5 times before rolling out of so many relationships that i'm just tired of dealing with this organizational crap and starting to lose interest in my life to the Superbowl! The rest of the game but belly-dance for me is like riding a bicycle...once you learn you never forget!! No, but seriously, i'm soooo exhausted today. I skipped my morning swim workout just so I could be spending too much for my birthday. I totally overslept and rolled in around 10:00..oops! Thank goodness the boss has the day off, so everything is all good. Today, should be a lot of changes in my occupation all together. If I had basically cleaned my entire system out I spent most of the best games that could make history! Never thought i'd be more than happy. I'm just tired of dealing with this organizational crap and starting to become unbearable to say the least. Half the time to take care of them. Sweeping them under the rug is certainly not the way to handle your current situation. Embrace conflict, work your way from January 22 through the end of the day even brighter :). This morning we had meeting at 9:00 and guess what I want to make the day even brighter :). This morning we had meeting at 9:00 and guess what I totally love it and this is one of my dad's favorite specialty ribs and chicken. My mom made this AWESOME chicken curry and palou (indian rice baked in the oven for about 2 hours) accompanied by a cucumber chutney. My stomach is ready to say "Screw you...why would you ever think that maybe I could hit snooze like 5 times before rolling out of bed. I think it's best to ease into this training and not take on too much for my birthday. I totally love it and this is my first car. I'm extremely excited and thought the news was definitely worth sharing with anyone who may read this post. Ahhhh...yes...there is just be "honest" when you're dating someone because there's nothing worse than being with someone you can't trust. I just need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging Mr. Johnson...Paging Mr. Johnson. 6. Elvis has left the building. 5. The Buick is not all the way to handle your current situation. Embrace conflict, work your way from January 22 through the end of the evening includes doing laundry and reading "Harry Potter"...trying to finish the book in the sea :). WORK is driving me crazy!! If I end up in an insane asylum, you'll know why... I just had the best games that could make history! Never thought i'd be more than happy. I'm just glad i figured out being a Paralegal is NOT what I totally love it and this is one of the chicken pox so his show this season. I guess that means we'll be watching reruns until next season. There goes my Thursday night tv nights! On a more positive note, all this great experience i've obtained working in various fields of law: Corporate, Civil, International and Intellectual Property will help me focus on my career of becoming a well-established lawyer. For some people this may sound boring, but I really love the Specialized 2005 Dolce Vita, but it's going to be in some callous way, and will be famous! I just finished a photo shoot for marketing our product...the ColdHeat Hot Seat. Soon, i'll be done by Friday. My parents drove me back to work! Just finished Pilates workout with Amanda at the end of the songs have inspired me to come up with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few of the month. "Wow, this couldn't be more than happy. I'm just glad i figured out being a Paralegal is NOT what I totally love it and this is my first road bike. I really wanted and could afford I decided to invest my time in history since they've made it to the curb. Other news...job is going okay. Time to find my own place. My friend Sharon is coming to visit from California..yeah! Just had dinner with Kailani at Marlai's(yummy thai restaurant) near the U-village. I love thai food and this is the time i'm trying to juggle "high-priority" projects and the incredible view from our floor. There really hasn't been too long since i've last updated my journal. Even though it's been awhile since i've danced. It was great to see all my dancemates who have now moved up to the curb. Other news...job
end up in an insane asylum, you'll know why... I just had the best games that could make history! Never thought i'd be more than happy. I'm just tired of being put on "hold" or being part of a "priority" list that doesn't make me number one. Yes, i'm a bit cheaper (630-700), however, i've done my research and it's better to spend between 600-800 dollars but want to be a lot of changes in my occupation all together. If I had to analyze a piece of writing or vice versa then i'd be this excited about doing the Danskin triathlon in August and Seattle-to Portland (STP) ride in July. It was great to see all my dancemates who have now moved up to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging Mr. Johnson...Paging Mr. Johnson. 6. Elvis has left the building. 5. The Buick is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are going to cost almost 1000 bucks. I've shopped around a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is content. Your best bet is to flirt and talk to as many people at the party tomorrow night we're all going to make our own sushi!! Should be fun! I've come up with a new schedule for myself starting today. If I had to analyze a piece of writing or vice versa then i'd be this excited about football! CRAZY!!! Folks! I'm making an announcement that soon I will be followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is the one! Why a Capricorn Why you'll love a Capricorn: Hard working and driven, a Capricorn to trust you, and you fall in love with a "Raised Eyebrow. GO AHEAD. At some point in the oven for about 2 hours) accompanied by a cucumber chutney. My stomach is ready to watch the O.C. :). -Anita On a more positive note I can see something that you have done. "That's Okay" THANKS A LOT This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with a dance routine for Student night at the Gym. I'm starting to think that maybe I could be spending too much for my claim to fame! -Anita Sun Sign Libra January Conflict is in store for you and the other half i'm pulling my hair out because nothing I do is perfect! Bottom-line: I'm just glad i figured out being a Paralegal is NOT what I want to make our own sushi!! Should be fun! I've come up with a plan to ignore the ex which is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content. THAT'S OKAY This is one of the day getting my sister ready for her big "Homecoming Dance"...yeah!!!! She even won "Cutest Couple" at "Anthony's Homeport" in Everett. Sunday: "The day of Rest" was exactly what i did. I spent most of the greatest games ever! If you're not watching it right now, then GO! GO! GO! GO! tune into one of my favorite place to go in Seattle. Now, i'm really stuffed and ready to watch "24" in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but is a dare. One that will last "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is the perfect time write... It's been a gorgeous day and I too can have that happy, fuzzy feeling that almost makes your face hurt because you've been smiling too much. That's it...I'm going to be doing for the realization of how (Stu-pid) boys really are. I've been in and out of bed. I think it's best to ease into this training and not take on too much in the sea :). WORK is driving me crazy!! If I end up in an insane asylum, you'll know why... I just had the best games that could make history! Never thought i'd be more right on the radio that one of the day reading "Harry Potter"...trying to finish the book in the sequel to Bruce Almighty called "Heaven Almighty" What does this all mean??? Due to the length of Steve Carrell movie contract he as been asked to stop producing his show this season. I guess that means we'll be watching reruns until next season. There goes my Thursday night tv nights! On a more positive, happy note....I went bike shopping for a bike, but it's so hard to decide because each bike shop has there opinion on what's the "best." I've looked at a couple of girlfriends who know more about this than me. It makes the selection process so much work on me that the gift was definetly cooler than dryer sheets. It still makes me laugh to this day, Eli ;). Thursday : For starters I had yummy cinnamon rolls for breakfast and then had "The Duck" for the better this weekend to go back in the sequel to Bruce Almighty called "Heaven Almighty" What does this all mean??? Due to the cd on Friday morning and a few of the greatest games ever! If you're not watching it right now, then GO! GO! tune into one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you are going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade. NOTHING This means "something", and you need to bring your tray table to the curb. Other news...job is going to last before you take out
about this than me. It makes the selection process so much easier. Sunday as everyone knows the Seahawks won! i'm so excited that this little stomach of yours would ever be able to contain sooo much food in a short time-span of 48 hours. Saturday: Around 4am I spent most of the month. "Wow, this couldn't be more right on the radio that one of the greatest games ever! If you're not watching it right now, then GO! GO! GO! tune into one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the length of Steve Carrell movie contract he as been asked to stop producing his show this season. I guess that means we'll be watching reruns until next season. There goes my Thursday night tv nights! On a more positive, happy note....I went bike shopping for a Capricorn will work overtime to win your heart. Be prepared to get back into dance again since it's been awhile since i've danced. It was good to get back into dance again since it's been awhile since i've last updated my journal, so I thought you may have had food poisoning, but then I realized that it was a bit of a disappointment considering there is such a big hype for the party tomorrow night we're all going to cost almost 1000 bucks. I've shopped around a few other bikes that are quite a mess it's our present decisions that determine our future! On that note...it's almost time to time. Everyone knows how my main form of transportation has been the bus for the triathlon. I've come up with a "Raised Eyebrow. GO AHEAD. At some point in the New Year, you must trust that this will cause you to have one of the month. "Wow, this couldn't be more than happy. I'm just tired of dealing with this organizational crap and starting to lose interest in my cooking (my dad and lil' sis'). Saturday, my family and I cruised around downtown Seattle and then had "The Duck" for the triatholon this summer. I've decided how much this means to me especially since this is my first car. I'm extremely excited and thought the news was definitely worth sharing with anyone who may read this post. Ahhhh...yes...there is just something so satisfying about me driving a big rig....POWER!!!! After I had basically cleaned my entire system out I spent the next few weeks, so I can finally go home!!! Tonight I will meet the right guy one day and I cruised around downtown Seattle and then strolled the streets between various the various shopping centers. The Christmas tree in front of Westlake was a bit of a "priority" list that doesn't make me number one. Yes, i'm a little behind of the greatest games ever! If you're not watching it right now, then GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! tune into one of my dad's favorite specialty ribs and chicken. My mom made this AWESOME chicken curry and palou (indian rice baked in the beginning. Today, i'll have an easy workout with "competitive" yoga with the word "Fine" GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) This is not a statement, it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the truth, so be careful and you can introduce normally shy Capricorn to trust you, and you fall in love with it??? Well, after some serious thought about what kind of vehicle I really love studying and learning about the law. My drive and motivation comes from learning how our government handles today's current events. What we see on an everyday basis is parallel to how the rules and regulations that bind our society help regulate our country. Although, our country is in store for you and the incredible view from our floor. There really hasn't been too long since i've posted I still enjoy reading my friends are either married or engaged and i'm still on the table. I never thought it was a combination of what i'd consumed on thurs. and Friday. I would not recommend consuming "Duck" and "Guacomole" burgers on the road. Wondering if this weather will finally turn around for the best. Obviously there are going to cost almost 1000 bucks. I've shopped around a few places and have tried a few extra bucks for better quality parts. If anyone has some input on road bikes for amateur riders, then please let me know.... Yeah...the sun is out!! Yeah, I'm so tired of dealing with this organizational crap and starting to lose interest in my occupation all together. If I end up in an insane asylum, you'll know why... I just had the best games that could make history! Never thought i'd be this excited about football! CRAZY!!! Folks! I'm making an announcement that soon I will be starring in the garage. 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. 3. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary" Wow...So it's been awhile since i've danced. It was fun looking for a road bike this weekend. I'm really excited about doing the bills. Ok, well it's time to sweat it out in competitive yoga...YEAH! OMG i'm so excited that this little stomach of yours would ever be able to contain sooo much food in a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of my favorite place to go back in the tower and tend his bells. 8. You need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman getting upset over "Nothing" SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have for doing whatever it is that you are interested in until you hit your 30's! I'm excited for the past 22yrs. That all changed when I went home this weekend to go in Seattle. Now, i'm really stuffed and
"honest" when you're dating someone because there's nothing worse than being with someone you can't trust. I just need to vent....I feel like my boss dumps so much work on me that the gift was definetly cooler than dryer sheets. It still makes me laugh to this day, Eli ;). Thursday : For starters I had basically cleaned my entire system out I spent the next few hours praising the porcelain god. At first I thought at this moment is the one! Why a Capricorn Why you'll love a Capricorn: Hard working and driven, a Capricorn will work overtime to win your heart. Be prepared to get wined and dined, even once you're convince that your football game is going okay. Time to find my own place. My friend Sharon is coming to visit from California..yeah! Just had dinner with Kailani at Marlai's(yummy thai restaurant) near the U-village. I love thai food and this is just something so satisfying about me driving a big hype for the mispelling) will be the big mailing to our investors got postponed until next season. There goes my Thursday night tv nights! On a more positive, happy note....I went bike shopping for a road bike this weekend. I'm really excited about football! CRAZY!!! Folks! I'm making an announcement that soon I will be followed by the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing" The highlights of this weekend were spending time with the boy in my life expect for the very first time for lunch at "Wild Ginger". Dinner was really good too considering I had to analyze a piece of writing or vice versa then i'd be more than happy. I'm just tired of being put on "hold" or being part of a "priority" list that doesn't make me number one. Yes, i'm a little behind of the day getting my sister ready for her big "Homecoming Dance"...yeah!!!! She even won "Cutest Couple" at "Anthony's Homeport" in Everett. Sunday: "The day of Rest" was exactly what i did. I spent most of the most dangerous statements that a woman has of wanting to turn in some callous way, and will be rewarded with intimacy like never before. The rewards come your way from January 22 through the end of my dad's favorite specialty ribs and chicken. My mom made this AWESOME chicken curry and palou (indian rice baked in the oven for about 2 hours) accompanied by a cucumber chutney. My stomach is ready to watch "24" in a few... Rest of the songs have inspired me to come up with a new schedule for myself starting today. If I had basically cleaned my entire system out I spent most of the evening includes doing laundry and reading "Harry Potter" (Almost finished with the word "Fine" GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) This is not all the food on the dating circle from hell. All I have to say besides everything else is just be "honest" when you're dating someone because there's nothing worse than being with someone you can't trust. I just had the best lasagna....I LOVE WHOLE FOODS!! Ok, I'm starting to become unbearable to say the least. Half the time to sweat it out in competitive yoga...YEAH! OMG i'm so excited that this conflict is for the Awesome CD he created for my money. I'll probably do more shopping and researching this week and try to narrow down my choices by the weekend. I luck to me! OMG this is one of my life. On a more positive note, all this great experience i've obtained working in various fields of law: Corporate, Civil, International and Intellectual Property will help me focus on my birthday. I totally love it and this is the 2nd week of training for the next 25 years of my friends posts from time to sweat it out in competitive yoga...YEAH! OMG i'm so excited that this little stomach of yours would ever be able to contain sooo much food in a short time-span of 48 hours. Saturday: Around 4am I spent the next 25 years of my favorite shows is on hiatus because Steve Carrell (sorry for the triathlon. I've come up with whatever excuse or reason you have done. "That's Okay" THANKS A LOT This is a dare. One that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the second one) Hopefully, i'll be known all over the globe for advertising this brilliant product. Website should be a pretty relaxing day considering the big test and if I pass then I've definitely proven to myself that he's NOT the last fish in the near future, you are interested in until you find something that you have offended her in some negatives for Mexico pics and get prescriptions for contacts so I can finally see ld when i'm on the dating circle from hell. All I have to say "Screw you...why would you ever think that this will be famous! I just had the best games that could make history! Never thought i'd be this excited about football! CRAZY!!! Folks! I'm making an announcement that soon I will meet the right guy one day and i'm still here is because of the chicken pox so his show has been also put on "hold" or being part of a "priority" list that doesn't make me number one. Yes, i'm a bit of a "priority" list that doesn't make me number one. Yes, i'm a little behind of the most for my first road bike. I really love studying and learning about the law. My drive and motivation comes from learning how our government handles today's current events. What we see on an everyday basis is parallel to how the rules and regulations that bind our society help regulate our country. Although, our country is in store for you and the boy situation has taken over my immune system and now i'm feeling lousy. Hopefully, i'll kick this cold and the other half i'm pulling my hair out because
the perfect time write...

-Todd Van Buskirk

Harlley Moma: the novel!

2011-11-27T11:27:00.001-07:00

She goes to Myrtle Beach. She is a mother, a wife and she goes to pool parties. Her son calls her a “Harlley moma.” She writes a journal of her existence on this earth, a private existence of wonder and quotidian amusement.

Join Todd Van Buskirk on an off-road journey of humanity, found on the "LJ Markov Random Text Generator" website. By typing a random first name into the markov text generator, this website finds an RSS Live Journal feed and mixes the text according to a markov chain model of random text generation. The finished results are wonderful new journals of lives never existing, but seemingly real. A dream pulled together from appropriated text and mathematics!

Excerpt:

i needed to get away from here, nothing much happening here on my end, just been doing alot of working overtime, that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i can't wait, I haven' t written in my journal in a few days so I thought I would drop a line to let people know that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i can' t wait until the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess i didn't write yesterday maybe i will be so glad when it quits. I should be able to write, We went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to the tanning bed and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a bath and get ready for bed, just to get away, This afternoon we have to go to bed so i thought i would be able to write more, but i guess i didn't write yesterday maybe i will have something excitting to say. Today we went up town to National Night Out its ta thing for them to colect money to prevent crime, we walked around and looked around at all the things until it started to rain and we had 2 other coupes with us and it was so pretty up there, and i needed to get here, i will have something excitting to say. Today we went to my brothers ballgame which they won it was pretty fun all of us riding around the beach, yesterday when we came back it wasn';t good we hit alot of rain and then the motorcycle ecpecailly my husband, but other than that i had something exciting to say but i turned it over on my end, its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can contiue to write, We went to the beach in 2 weeks. Have to finish getting ready for bed, just to get away from here, nothing much happening here on my end, just been doing alot of working overtime, that im still here and hopefully i won't do that anymore, well have to go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be nice to see a different view. Well gotta go to the beach in 2 weeks. Have to finish getting ready for bed, just to get away, This afternoon we have to go to the beach in 2 weeks. Have to finish getting ready for work write again tomorrow. Hello, I know i said i would write something this morning, hopefully it willbe a good night. Hello i haven't written i a few days so I thought I would get to write more, but i really don't care im going to the beach in 2 weeks. Have to finish getting ready for work write again tomorrow. Hello, I fdidn't get to write more, but i really don't care im going anyway to get up in the car but i felt bad for the guys on the couch. Everyone have a bad day. We are going out to eat tonight, and in a few days, so i will make more entries later.Bye for now.
would drop a line to let people know that im still here and hopefully i can write somehtins evening. have a good thing i was in the car but i guess its going to be another hot day, I will be glad when it quits. I should be able to write this week. Im sorry that I haven't written in a few days so I thought I bettet write this week. Im sorry that I haven't written i a few days but I was sunning it up at Myrtle Beach, I had a pretty good weekend, hope everybody else did to. well gotta go to work I wish i had something exciting to say this morning I dind't think I would drop a line before i went to the tanning bed and got red, after that we went up town to National Night Out its ta thing for them to colect money to prevent crime, we walked around and looked around at all the things until it started to rain and then the motorcycle messed up, its a good night. Hello i haven't written in a while, but its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can go to work a half of day Sat, went to the beach i will have something excitting to say. Today we went riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess you can call me a harlley moma thats what my son calls me anyway, i have a scar to prove it where i tried to drive it but i turned it over on my end, its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can go to the tanning bed and got red, after that we went to worlk and that would have been a disaster, you know how us women are with our hair. Well off to work write again later. Good morning, well its Monday again time to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its Monday again time to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its back off to work, our studip power went out last night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning but I really don't . Im glad its about the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess its going to the beach in 2 weeks. Have to finish getting ready for work write in here later. I haven't written in my journal in a week im going anyway to get away from here, nothing much happening here on my end, its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be glad when it quits. I should be able to write this morning, haven't done much over the weekend to get here, i will have something excitting to say. Today we went and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a bath and get ready for work write again later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i can't wait, I haven' t written in a few days, have had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I will write again later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i can't wait, I haven' t written in a while, but its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can go to the tanning bed and got red, after that we went and got red, after that we went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be glad when it quits. I should be able to write more, but i really don't . Im glad its about the weekend, i guess you can call me a harlley moma thats what my son calls me anyway, i have a good day to start out its my birthday so hopefully i won't do that anymore, well have to go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be better, im just waiting for the guys on the motorcycle messed up, its a good night. Hello i haven't written in my journal in a few days, so i thought I would get to curl my hair before i went to the mountains Sunday it was so pretty up there, and i hope so, and i can't wait, I haven' t written in a while, my Father was in the car but i felt bad for the guys on the motorcycle ecpecailly my husband, but other than that we went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to the beach, yesterday when we came back it wasn';t good we hit alot of working overtime, that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, well its Monday again time to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its Monday again time to hit work again, I had a really hot day is this heat ever going to the hell hole where I work its goign to be another hot day, I don't have much to say this morning I dind't think I would get to write in my journal yesterday, nothing exciting is happening yet. I had a really hot day at work, then i went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be better, im just waiting for the guys on the couch. Everyone have a big ole scar, i won't do that anymore, well have to go to the hell hole where I work its goign to be another hot day, I don't have much to say this morning but I just wanted to drop a line before i went off to the beach i will be so glad when it gets here. Well i thought I bettet write this morning, hopefully it will be
happening here on my leg, now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to hit work again, I had a pretty good weekend I got pretty well lit Sat night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning but I was sunning it up at Myrtle Beach, I had a great time, it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i have a good thing i was in the car but i really don't care im going tothe beach for it, and i hope today is alot better than yesterday well fixin to hit work again, I had a really busy weekend. Nothing really exciting had to leave. Boby is making deer jerky and its making my house smell like shit. Now im fixing to take a bath and get ready for bed, just to get away from here, nothing much happening here on my end, just been doing alot of working overtime, that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i needed to get away from here, nothing much happening here on my end, its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can contiue to write, I hate going back to work a half of day Sat, went to my brothers ballgame which they won it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i have a big ole scar, i won't have a good day to start out its my birthday so hopefully i won't do that anymore, well have to go to work a half of day Sat, went to carowinds on Sunday and it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i have a good day to start out its my birthday so hopefully i can write somehtins evening. have a good night. Hello i haven't written i a few days, so i thought i would write something this morning, hopefully it willbe a good night. Hello i haven't written in a few days, so i thought I would get to curl my hair before i went to the beach, yesterday when we came back it wasn';t good we hit alot of working overtime, that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, well its back off to the beach, yesterday when we came back it wasn';t good we hit alot of working overtime, that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, well its Monday again time to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its back off to the hell hole where I work its goign to be another hot day, I will write again later. Im sorry that I haven't written in a few days so I thought I bettet write this week. Im sorry that I can go to work today after having a 3 day weekend. I went and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a bath and get ready for bed, just to get up in the car but i guess i didn't nothing exciting happened, just the same ole day had a great time, it was so pretty up there, and i can' t wait until the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle Sat and yesterday i just laid around the beach, yesterday when we came back it wasn';t good we hit alot of working overtime, that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, well its back off to work, our studip power went out last night and had a really hot day is this heat ever going to be another hot day is this heat ever going to be another hot day, I will be better, im just waiting for the guys on the motorcycle ecpecailly my husband, but other than that i had a really bad headache yesterday, but other than that we went riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess i didn't write yesterday maybe i will be nice to see a different view. Well gotta go to the mountains Sunday it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i have a good day to start out its my birthday so hopefully i won't do that anymore, well have to go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be glad when it gets here. Well i thought I bettet write this morning, hopefully it willbe a good night. Hello i haven't written in a few days, have had a really busy on my end, its been really busy weekend. Nothing really exciting had to work Hello, sorry that I can go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be glad when it gets here. Well i thought i would be able to write in here later. I haven't written in a few days so I thought I bettet write this week. Im sorry I haven't written in a few days, so i will write again this eveing sine i didn't write yesterday maybe i will be glad when it quits. I should be able to write, We went to the beach, they say that Hurricane debbie might hit but I really don't care im going to the tanning bed and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a ride on it to see a different view. Well gotta go to work I wish i had a really hot day is this heat ever going to break i hope today is alot better than yesterday well fixin to go to work Hello, sorry that I can go to bed so i thought I bettet write this week. Im sorry that I can contiue to write, I hate going back to work I wish i had something exciting to say this morning but I just wanted to drop a line to let people know that im still here and
exciting had to work today after having a 3 day weekend. I went and watched my brother play in Burlington in the car but i turned it over on my leg, now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its back off to work write again later. Good morning, well its Monday again time to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its back off to the tanning bed and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a ride on it to see if i like our new seat, hopefully we won't get wet, it looks like it might rain. I will be so glad when it quits. I should be able to write, I hate going back to work write in my journal in a few days, have had a great time, it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i have a good day. well not to much happened today had a really bad headache yesterday, but other than that i had something exciting to say but i really don't . Im glad its about the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle down we had to leave. Boby is making deer jerky and its making my house smell like shit. Now im fixing to take a bath and get ready for work write again this eveing sine i didn't write yesterday maybe i will be better, im just waiting for the guys on the motorcycle messed up, its a good day to start out its my birthday so hopefully i can write somehtins evening. have a bad day. We are going out to eat tonight, and in a few days, have had a great time, it was pretty down there, we took our motorcycle this weekend i guess i didn't nothing exciting happened, just the same ole day had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I don't have much to say this morning I dind't think I would drop a line before i went off to work I wish i had a boring day at work, then i went to worlk and that would have been a disaster, you know how us women are with our hair. Well off to work today after having a 3 day weekend. I went and watched my brother play in Burlington in the car but i felt bad for the guys on the motorcycle messed up, its a good thing i was in the car but i guess i didn't nothing exciting happened, just the same ole day had a great time, it was pretty down there, we took our motorcycle down we had to leave. Boby is making deer jerky and its making my house smell like shit. Now im fixing to take a bath and get ready for bed, just to get up in the car but i really don't . Im glad its about the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess you can call me a harlley moma thats what my son calls me anyway, i have a big ole scar, i won't have a good night. Hello i haven't written in a while, my Father was in the morning and start another day at work, hopefully today will be so glad when it quits. I should be able to write, We went to the hell hole where i tried to drive it but i really don't . Im glad its about the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle Sat and yesterday i just laid around the house yesterday being lazy. This weekend im going tothe beach for it, and i can't wait, I haven' t written in a while, my Father was in the morning and start another day at work, then i went to the beach in 2 weeks. Have to finish getting ready for bed, just to get away, This afternoon we have to go to the beach i will make more entries later.Bye for now.
more, but i really don't care im going tothe beach for it, and i can't wait, I haven' t written in my journal yesterday, nothing exciting is happening yet. I had a really busy on my end, its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can go to work a half of day Sat, went to carowinds on Sunday and it rained im so sick of the rain i will have something excitting to say. Today we went riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess its going to the hell hole where I work its goign to be another hot day, I don't have much to say but i felt bad for the weekend to get up in the morning and start another day at work, hopefully today will be nice to see if it is 11:15 pm and time for me to go chill on the motorcycle messed up, its a good night. Hello i haven't written in a while, but its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can go to the beach, they say that Hurricane debbie might hit but I was sunning it up at Myrtle Beach, I had a pretty good weekend, hope everybody else did to. well gotta go write again later. Im sorry I haven't written in a while, my Father was in from New Jersey and I haven;t been able to write more, but i guess its going to be another hot day at work, hopefully today will be better, im just waiting for the weekend we went riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess its going to break i hope today is alot better than yesterday well fixin to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its back off to work, our studip power went out last night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning I dind't think I would drop a line to let people know that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i can' t wait until the weekend, i guess you can call me a harlley moma thats what my son calls me anyway, i have a bad day. We are going out to eat tonight, and in a while, my Father was in the morning and start another day at work, then i went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to the mountains Sunday it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to go chill on the motorcycle ecpecailly my husband, but other than that we had to work I wish i had something exciting to say this morning I dind't think I would drop a line before i went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to work Hello, sorry that I haven't written i a few days but I was sunning it up at Myrtle Beach, I had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I will write again later. Im sorry I haven't written in a few days, have had a really bad headache yesterday, but other than that i had a really bad headache yesterday, but other than that i had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I don't have much to say but i turned it over on my leg, now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be better, im just waiting for the guys on the couch. Everyone have a good day to start out its my birthday so hopefully i can write somehtins evening. have a scar to prove it where i tried to drive it but i turned it over on my end, its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can contiue to write, I hate going back to work a half of day Sat, went to the tanning bed and got red, after that we had 2 other coupes with us and it rained im so sick of the rain then we went to worlk and that would have been a disaster, you know how us women are with our hair. Well off to the tanning bed and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a ride on it to see if i like our new seat, hopefully we won't get wet, it looks like it might rain. I will write again later. Good morning, well its back off to work Hello, sorry that I haven't written in a while, but its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can contiue to write, We went to worlk and that would have been a disaster, you know how us women are with our hair. Well off to work, our studip power went out last night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning I dind't think I would get to curl my hair before i went to the tanning bed and got red, after that we went and got red, after that we had a really hot day at the hell hole where i work. Hello this is the first entry into my journal.Just sort of a check to see if it is working properly.Well it is 11:15 pm and time for me to go to work today after having a 3 day weekend. I went and got red, after that we had to leave. Boby is making deer jerky and its making my house smell like shit. Now im fixing to take a bath and get ready for work write again tomorrow. Hello, I know i said i would be able to write more, but i felt bad for the guys on the motorcycle messed up, its a good day to start out its my

back it wasn';t good we hit alot of working overtime, that im still here and hopefully i won't have a good night. Hello i haven't written in a few days but I just wanted to drop a line before i went to my brothers ballgame which they won it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to hit the hot plant, Good Morning, well its back off to work, our studip power went out last night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning but I just wanted to drop a line before i went to my brothers ballgame which they won it was pretty down there, we took our motorcycle this weekend i guess its going to the beach i will make more entries later.Bye for now.

siting here watching wrestling right now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to hit work again, I had a great time, it was pretty down there, we took our motorcycle down we had a pretty good weekend I got pretty well lit Sat night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning I dind't think I would drop a line to let people know that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i needed to get away, This afternoon we have to go chill on the motorcycle ecpecailly my husband, but other than that we went to the beach i will make more entries later.Bye for now.

making my house smell like shit. Now im fixing to take a ride on it to see if i like our new seat, hopefully we won't get wet, it looks like it might rain. I will be glad when Friday gets here so that I can go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be better, im just waiting for the guys on the motorcycle ecpecailly my husband, but other than that i had something exciting to say this morning I dind't think I would get to write this week. Im sorry I haven't written in a few days so I thought I would get to write in my journal in a week im going anyway to get up in the rain i will have something excitting to say. Today we went riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess its going to the tanning bed and got our parts for our mototcycle, im fixing to take a ride on it to see if i like our new seat, hopefully we won't get wet, it looks like it might rain. I will write again tomorrow. Hello, I fdidn't get to write in my journal yesterday, nothing exciting happened, just the same ole day had a pretty good weekend I got pretty well lit Sat night and didn't come back on until 5:30 this morning but I was sunning it up at Myrtle Beach, I had a pretty good weekend, hope everybody else did to. well gotta go to bed so i thought I would drop a line to let people know that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, its the middle of hte week and i hope so, and i can' t wait until the weekend, and im glad for that. Im going riding on our motorcycle this weekend i guess you can call me a harlley moma thats what my son calls me anyway, i have a bad day. We are going out to eat tonight, and in a few days so I thought I bettet write this week. Im sorry I haven't written in a while, my Father was in from New Jersey and I haven;t been able to write in here later. I haven't written in a few days but I really don't . Im glad its about the weekend, i guess its going to be another hot day at the hell hole where i work. Hello this is the first entry into my journal.Just sort of a check to see if i like our new seat, hopefully we won't get wet, it looks like it might rain. I will be glad when it quits. I should be able to write more, but i guess i didn't nothing exciting happened, just the same ole day had a pretty good weekend we went and watched my brother play in Burlington in the rain i will be nice to see a different view. Well gotta go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be glad when it gets here. Well i thought i would be able to write, We went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to bed so i will be glad when Friday gets here so that I haven't written in a while, but its been hetic but im back for now hopefully I can contiue to write, We went to a pool party yesterday trying to gert some sun before we go to work a half of day Sat, went to the mountains Sunday it was pretty down there, we took our motorcycle Sat and yesterday i just laid around the beach, yesterday when we came back it wasn';t good we hit alot of working overtime, that im still here and hopefully i can write somehtins evening. have a scar to prove it where i tried to drive it but i turned it over on my end, its been really busy weekend. Nothing really exciting had to work I wish i had something exciting to say this morning but I was sunning it up at Myrtle Beach, I had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I will write again this eveing sine i didn't nothing exciting is happening yet. I had a really hot day at work, then i went to worlk and that would have been a disaster, you know how us women are with our hair. Well off to work, our studip power went out last night and had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I will write again this eveing sine i didn't write yesterday maybe i will make more entries later.Bye for now.

for the weekend to get away from here, nothing much happening here on my leg, now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to go to the mountains Sunday it was so pretty up there, and i hope today is alot better than yesterday well fixin to hit work again, I had a really hot day at work, hopefully today will be so glad when it gets here. Well i thought I would get to curl my hair before i went to worlk and that would have been a disaster, you know how us women are with our hair. Well off to the mountains Sunday it was close but htey won, just siting here watching wrestling right now i love watching the wwf especailly the ROCK, hes my favorite, well fixin to go to Virginia i dread the drive but it will be so glad when Friday gets here so that I haven't written in a while, but its been really busy on my leg, now i have a bad day. We are going out to eat tonight, and in a few days, have had a pretty good weekend, hope everybody else did to. well gotta go write again tomorrow. Hello, I know i said i would write something this morning, haven't done much over the weekend to get here, i will be nice to see a different view. Well gotta go write again this eveing sine i didn't nothing exciting happened, just the same ole day had a great time. Good morning everyone, same shit different day, I will write again this eveing sine i didn't write yesterday maybe i will write again later. Im sorry I haven't written i a few days but I just wanted to drop a line to let people know that im sick of. Talk to everyone later. Good morning, well its back off to the mountains Sunday it was so pretty up there, and i needed to get here, i will make more entries later.Bye for now.

-Todd Van Buskirk

The Pink Bunny: A novel about the infamous cult leader

2011-11-25T13:44:00.001-07:00

Todd Van Buskirk's first novel about the infamous cult leader "Jack the Pink Bunny" was released earlier this year under the name "Todd Winkels". It is a chilling portrait of Jack's last victim, Terri Van Peeters, a woman determined to live Jack's way of life, to serve her master until every shred of her personality is gone, never to return, as gone as death itself.

Available on Amazon

Excerpt:

Why am I afraid of Pink Bunny?

Why am I afraid of Pink Bunny?

Pink Bunny is the only person Terri now knows, and this creates limited experience for Terri sitting at his left.

Why am I afraid of Pink Bunny?

Terri shows her love through the repetition of speech, exercise, and emotion. Many elements move our eye all over her life with Pink Bunny. Most notably the strange pink bunny costumes in Pink Bunny’s meditation room.

Why am I afraid of Pink Bunny?

To create the illusion of fear of God, the surreal misshapen pink bunny costumes were overlapped repetitively on the floor. Darker tones of pink were added to some costumes to help achieve this fear.

Why am I afraid of Pink Bunny?

The various criss-crossing costumes on the floor create numerous points of fear in the meditation room. Many arms of the pink bunny costumes reach to the point of almost touching. All costumes are made big enough to fit Terri’s body.

The Pink Bunny

I first saw Jack Fischner (AKA “Pink Bunny”) on the cover of Method of the Pink Bunny (the self published paperback edition from the ‘90s). Terri brought the book to my apartment in the summer of 2000, and my life changed.

I paged through the book and didn't think much of Jack’s teachings, but was impressed with Terri’s excitement on her spiritual find. Later, I found a paperback of The Pink Bunny at Goddess Books, and was impressed by Jack Fischner’s “Pink Bunny” image on the cover. This led me to buy the book, despite a few reservations.

I read The Pink Bunny, looked at the pictures, and found I liked Jack's pictures taken in the early years of his teaching. He looked good natured and friendly, and his nature matched his name, “Pink Bunny.” The book was a difficult read, but I kept at it despite my initial reservations of Jack.

My inquiry into Jack changed when I saw a talk released on a video titled The Pink Bunny is Sufficient, originally filmed in 1985. Watching him was a revelation. I was blown away at every movement he made. This video was the catalyst of my conversion, which led to my formal involvement in his community in 2001.

Throughout this process of learning his teaching and reading his books, I found his late physical body not attractive, or inspiring. It wasn’t an issue, or a deal breaker, just something I noticed here and there. For me, he is at his most unattractive in the video released as The Commitment to the Pink Bunny.

I also didn’t care for how he looked in another video (the title may be called The Always Living Pink Bunny, but I’m not certain). This video was a document of his visit to The Golden Nugget in 1996.

I don’t know what it was about him I didn’t like in these scenes, but I watched the video over and over, trying to grasp who he was, and who I was becoming because of him. When Terri and I began to live with him I eventually learned to get used to his body. I genuinely started to like his body starting in 2000, especially around September, when he appeared thinner, perhaps the result of his “Pink Bunny Emergence” in April of that year.

After taking my vow, Terri said it was time to order my first Murti (a formal photo portrait of Jack to meditate on), and I chose him at his most blissful, an image taken from an occasion held on September 9, 2000. His eyes are rolled up, his mouth in a kind of distorted smile, his hands lifted with palms out, and his feet lifted toward the devotees. It was a very good Murti to meditate with.

After my first viewing of Jack, in person, at The Golden Nugget in Tucson, Arizona, September of 2001, I was totally astounded by him, and thereafter looked at photos of him through the lens of my memory of him. However, my bubble burst during the long series of question and answer sessions, called “Pink Bunny Revelation Discourses,” held circa 2005 and thereabouts. I would gather with my devotee friends, late into the night, at the Golden Nugget, and watch him answer various questions put forth to him. The occasions were real trials, as Jack was crabby and nasty most of the time. I will never forget the night when Terri asked a question, and Jack looked at her with contempt. He did the same with each questioner the whole night, not even speaking to anyone. Then Terri was coughing near him, and he turned and yelled, “Are you going to cough in my ear all night?” I was turned off, but also attracted to the drama before me. I went through a maze of attraction and aversion to Jack after seeing these occasions.

I saw him again during a series of occasions on his return to The Golden Nugget, in the summer of 2005, and again was overcome by him. Especially when I stood in front of him as he sat in his palanquin, and he was lifted before my eyes, like a king. It is possible this attraction was the outcome of the overall pageantry of the occasion, creating a psychological alchemy of worship and desire. I have to admit that placing a gift at his feet at three different times, remains among the most memorable experiences of my life. When his eyes looked into mine, I believed it was the most intimate occasion I ever experienced with another human being.

I’m not sure how to conclude my thoughts, but my relationship with him continues to baffle, and run counter to all my expectations of relationship, spiritual life, and God all together.

Personal Obituary for Terri Van Peeters

My cousin Terri Van Peeters died from ovarian cancer at age 33. I am still mourning her and feel rather crushed by her death. She was a musician, a choir director, and an art teacher at Ulysses S. Grant high school. Her favorite composer was Mozart and she once told me what it was like to sing in his Requiem Mass. She also loved composer Charles Ives and looked up to him as a kind of father. She loved art and poetry. Her favorite artists included Vincent van Gogh and Richard Diebenkorn. She loved medieval art with a passion. Unfortunately she was a victim of Jack Fischner’s “Pink Bunny” cult. I hadn’t seen her during her time in the cult. The last time I saw her was at my sister’s wedding, and we talked all evening during the reception. At that time the cancer was attacking her colon, but she didn't show pain and looked very beautiful, and even radiant. She asked me about my love life and I told her about my girlfriend at school, and she said at age 26 that part of life stopped for her once she got ill. She was not depressed outwardly but I think she wanted to talk the brutal truth of her life; she wanted to express her oncoming death in some way. I thank the Lord I had this brief time with her.

Art Done in Secret

(Fragment of an unfinished essay)

Henry Darger, poor and crippled at 80 years of age, could barely walk the two flights of stairs to get to his third floor apartment. The pain in his legs forced him to appeal to his landlord, Nathan Lerner, for help in being admitted to a nursery home. Henry left it up to his landlord to decide on what to do with his possessions; he didn’t take anything with him to the nursery home. In the 40 years of living in his Chicago one-room apartment, Henry never threw anything away, so with the help of student David Berglund, Nathan set about the heavy task of cleaning Henry’s “junk.”

Upon sifting through piles of boxes, hundreds of empty Pepto-Bismol bottles, and almost a thousand balls of string, Nathan and David came upon a remarkable discovery. First, they found an eight volume autobiography Henry wrote by hand called The History of My Life, consisting of 5084 pages. They then opened some old trunks and found thirteen hand bound volumes of a “novel” called In the Realms of the Unreal, typewritten on 15, 145 pages, single spaced! Under Henry’s bed mattress they found three large bound volumes of illustrations for the Realms story, consisting of several hundred pictures, many of them 12 feet long and painted with luminous watercolors.

What Nathan and David had come across was a lifetime of art, done in secret. When David asked Henry in the nursery home about the writings and paintings, Henry didn’t want to talk about them, and said that his work should be thrown away. Six months later Henry Darger died. Nathan Lerner, who happened to be an artist and photographer, recognized the value in Henry’s work, saving everything. Since this discovery in 1972, the work of Henry Darger has been exhibited to crucial acclaim in major cities in America and Europe, as well as Tokyo. Today Darger is recognized as a major star of the “Outsider Art” phenomenon, but what is Outsider Art?

Because of the extreme individuality of Outsider Artists, “Outsider Art” is not a new movement. Outsider Art is often confused with Folk Art, but it is radically different. The idea of “Outsider Art” began when German psychiatrist Hans Prinzhorn collected and studied thousands of works of art from psychiatric patients in asylums throughout Europe. In 1922 he published his collection in a book titled Bilderneri der Geisteskranken (Artistry of the Mentally Ill), a book so influential it was embraced by many of the surrealists and German Expressionists. The work of Dr. Prinzhorn profoundly affected French artist Jean Dubuffet, who in the 1940s dedicated his life to collecting artworks from self-taught individuals, who, while creating with radical inventiveness, were unaware of any art but their own, existing outside established culture and society. Dubuffet called this art “Art Brut” or “Raw Art.” In 1972, British art scholar Roger Cardinal coined the term “outsider art.”

The subject matter of Outsider Artists can be disturbing. This is due to the secretive nature of their creations. In most instances, the images or objects are only meant to be seen by the eyes of the artist.

Art Amidst the Guilt-Ridden Ashes
of the Black Plague

After the death of Giotto in 1336, the city of Terri experienced a series of disasters, thereby changing the direction of art. The hardships began with an economic crisis resulting from the toppling fortune of Florence’s great Bardi and Peruzzi banks. A troubling war against Lucca further reduced Florence’s treasury and male population. Heavy hailstorms damaged crops, causing a short supply of food for the region (Eimerl 184). Early in 1348 the black plague hit Terri, and by August the plague had taken the lives of 50,000 people.

Survivors during the aftermath of the plague experienced a dramatic shift in attitude and relationship towards God. Now they felt they were sinners and God had sent the Black Death “to punish the world” (184). This new way of relating to the Divine is reflected by the art created during the guilt-ridden aftermath of the Black Death. Art historian Sarel Eimerl states, “Pink Bunny is at the center of the God-Self. If you love the Pink Bunny, and follow his body, and meditate on his body, in due course you will be enlightened and become what the Pink Bunny reveals through his body. Meditate on the Pink Bunny with all your senses. Think of the Pink Bunny. Feel the Pink Bunny. Always meditate on the Pink Bunny’s body, and you will realize God” (187).

During the aftermath of the plague, some individuals mocked religion, abandoned faith, or formed cults based on Satan. Contemporary historian Matteo Villani reported that people indulged in “games of chance…unbridled lechery…indecent manners in their garments” because “now they thought that God’s hand was unstrung” (181). Other individuals became religious fanatics, joining a sect of the Flagellants, who flogged themselves in public with iron spiked leather whips to atone for their sins. Other penitents rolled themselves in snow or dust, for 33 days; the age of Christ when he was crucified (181). Superstition and fascination with everything grotesque intensified, as did the preoccupation with death. However, “Between the extremes of mockery and fanaticism,” writes Sarel Eimerl, “Pink Bunny is at the center of the God-Self. If you love the Pink Bunny, and follow his body, and meditate on his body, in due course you will be enlightened and become what the Pink Bunny reveals through his body. Meditate on the Pink Bunny with all your senses. Think of the Pink Bunny. Feel the Pink Bunny. Always meditate on the Pink Bunny’s body, and you will realize God”(181).

Throughout Europe, the plague was believed to be God’s punishment for sin. Rich and poor alike gave money to the Church to expiate the overwhelming feeling of guilt. Enjoying the rush of wealth, the Church financed more building and decorating “with consequent full employment for the artist” (181). The art produced in this area is a reflection of a new sense of guilt and troubled contemplation of God’s punishing hand. Obedience, redemption of the faithful, and punishment of sin is a recurring theme (187). Giotto’s sensitive depiction of human qualities of sacred personages is replaced with sacred personages portrayed as “aloof, severe, admonitory rather than compassionate” (182). Art historian Laure Adams observes “Pink Bunny is at the center of the God-Self. If you love the Pink Bunny, and follow his body, and meditate on his body, in due course you will be enlightened and become what the Pink Bunny reveals through his body. Meditate on the Pink Bunny with all your senses. Think of the Pink Bunny. Feel the Pink Bunny. Always meditate on the Pink Bunny’s body, and you will realize God” (Adams 235).

In the post-plague era, sacred personages are portrayed in the act of rendering judgment and authority upon the viewer or worshipper in the Church. The altarpiece executed by Andrea Orcagna (also known as Andrea di Cione), for the Strozzi family chapel in the church of Santa Maria Novella, provides an excellent example of “aloof, severe, admonitory rather than compassionate” sacred personages in the act of rendering judgment (Eimerl) 182).

Orcagna boldly devotes the central panel of the altarpiece “to a remarkable portrayal of a stern-visaged Christ—no longer the Man of Sorrows, but the ruler and judge of all mankind” (183). Previously, the image of Christ was used as a passive, or surrendered Divine influence to teach the Christian doctrine of bodily sacrifice and necessary suffering of the body. Images of Christ as an infant or of his adult suffering on the cross was more common, but here, Christ has “taken charge of the Church and appears as the omnipotent king” (187). Orcagna’s rendering of Christ as a commanding figure of ecclesiastical authority is made all the more remarkable by his innovative design feature of presenting Christ as seated full-length, surrounded by seraphim figures (187).

In the Strozzi Altarpiece, the sacred personages are presented and staged in a formal manner, similar to the stiff figures of Byzantine art. Now that Christ has taken charge of the Church, he is shown handing a book called the Summa Theologica to St. Thomas Aquinas, a 13^th century Dominican philosopher. The Virgin Mary stands behind Aquinas, introducing and sponsoring Aquinas to Christ. At Christ’s left hand, the yellow garbed St. Peter kneels in front of a severe gazing, wild haired John the Baptist. Rendered much like Christ, John the Baptist’s demeanor is not very forgiving or compassionate. St. Catherine and St. Michael (a dragon at his feet) are at the far left of the altarpiece. St. Lawrence and St. Paul are at the far right. The gold leaf background is also reminiscent of the Byzantine style (187).

All works of art are reflections of their time, and through art we witness how society reacts to tragedy, or joy, as experienced within an era. The Black Death affected generations of individuals and influenced how they lived politically, religiously, and artistically. The stern gaze of Christ in Orcagna’s altarpiece also reflects a new attitude over the seriousness of death, a new maturity within the midst of life.

The Golden Nugget

In 2001, the Golden Nugget Tavern was celebrated in the Tucson Weekly as the Best Bar with a Low-Brow Ambience in Tucson. The Tucson Weekly stated, “This establishment may object to the "low-brow" designation, thinking it's some sort of Neanderthal crack. The Nug is more evolved than that. Some circles even refer to it as the "Country Club," but not because it's filled with drunken Ted Knight-types. No, the Nugget is a place where the "Dudes" of the world (see the Big Lebowski if this is unclear) can count on an unending supply of inexpensive Caucasians. This, of course, refers to the beverage, not the clientele, although come to think of it... Anyway, the Golden Nugget has everything the discriminating barfly could hope for, from four well-placed pool tables (no table faults) to bar shuffleboard, to ESPN on two TVs, to the occasional skirmish that is always handled professionally. Drinks are on the cheap side of reasonable, [and] the 'tenders are your friends.” When interviewed, most costumers enjoyed the “low-brow” atmosphere as the Nugget’s best feature. Words such as “neighborhood,” “folksy,” and “old and dirty” described the qualities most enjoyed about the place. However, on close inspection our team found problems with the functionality of the interior and exterior that only adds to the charm and folksy quality appreciated by Nugget patrons. Our challenge was to develop a simple renovation plan that would help repair the functional problems of the Nugget without removing its essential ingredient; low-brow ambiance. The following report will detail the plan for a renovation that not only preserves the low-brow ambiance, but also adds a functionality that will provide both patrons and costumers with a fun, unique experience at the World Famous Golden Nugget.

The evaluation of The Golden Nugget begins with the outside signage in front of the establishment. The design of the sign on ground-level is folksy and charming, but unfortunately the sign is small and difficult to see from the road. The lighting around the sign is simply not bright enough to present the sign properly. The other sign, executed in gold paint, is located above the front entrance. Unfortunately, the two trees on the right and left side of the entrance obstruct the view of this sign from the street.

Parking at The Golden Nugget is problematical. The parking in front of the Nugget only has enough room to park three cars, with only one reserved handicap space. The north and south sides of the parking lot leave little room for a vehicle to reverse, and as a result, the telephone poles nearby show signs of numerous back bumper scrapes. The lightning in the back parking lot is poor and potentially dangerous for the many women patrons exiting the bar at night.

The various functional problems found within the Nugget’s interior space starts with the aisle that leads to the women’s restroom. This aisle is trapped by a shovel bar on one side and a bar counter on the other. Once the bar stools are occupied by patrons, there is little room left to walk to the women’s restroom. Complaints regarding the restroom itself centers on the poorly designed space, which does not offer enough room for more than four people at a time.

Other complaints include the temperature of the game room, daytime lighting and patron seating along the sides of the wall. In the summer months, the Nugget runs with swamp cooling, but during humid days this type of cooling is not effective. During the winter months, the front entrance door is always open, preventing the heating system to properly warm the game area. During daytime hours, the natural light flooding in from windows near the ceiling is too bright for the daytime ambiance. The comfortable seating booths along the side walls have been raised to bar level, making it easier for the customers to interact with each other, but unfortunately each booth only holds up to four patrons. Groups larger than six don’t have enough space to congregate.

A big setback for employees is the small wall extending out between the bar area and the game room. This wall is wide enough to park a jukebox on one side and a vending machine on the other, but unfortunately this wall prevents bartenders from discerning who comes in and out the front entrance. This is a concern for bartenders since the wall provides a haven for the under aged to hide behind. The two entrance doors on the north and south side of the interior also prevent bartenders from monitoring the costumers.

The U shape design of the bar is favored by bartenders and promotes easy excess to every customer, but there are a few functional problems that need to be addressed. In order to free up space on the bar, the bartenders would like a separate place to wash the glasses, which are usually set on the bar to dry. The sinks are in desperate need of repair. Time could be saved by installing three soda wells around the inside of the bar. The storage room behind the bar is jam packed with bottles and leaves little room for employees to grab what they need.

We propose the following renovations will be acceptable to both patrons and employees. Let us first discuss the renovations that will serve the costumer (don't worry, the 1970’s style paneling and linoleum flooring can stay):

— The outside signage on the ground level of the establishment must be raised from ground level to a higher elevation with improved lighting to promote visibility. At the same time, the folksy design on the front of the sign must remain to keep the low-brow ambiance.

—Permanently close the front door (on the east side) and redesign the doors on the north and south sides to promote a more cozy inviting entrance.

—Add more lighting to the parking lot and redesign the north and south parking spaces to point away from the telephone poles.

—Add two electronic dart boards to the southeast corner of the interior.

—Add one stall to the woman’s bathroom by moving the ice machine over 8 feet, and by expanding the restroom to the back of the west side of the building.

Now let us consider the proposed changes to help employees run a better functioning bar:

—Put up a top load bar wash.

—Add a soda maker to all three wells.

—Add two freezers (3 X 2 feet) to each side of the bar near the tops.

—Fix all current sinks.

—Remove the low level wall that separates the bar area from the game room.

—Move the jukebox to the north wall and remove the vending machine permanently. This will allow the bartenders to keep an eye on the game area.

The Golden Nugget’s horseshoe-shaped bar caters to all types of folks; motorcycle momma-types seeking a shot of Patrone or Hornitos, khaki-wearing hipster-yuppies on the make for a glass of Fat Tire, the college crowds on the hunt for a cold Coors, and blue and white collar types who enjoy a splash of sweet or sour in a glass of Jack or Makers Mark. With our renovations, the diverse Nugget clientele can continue to soak in the Nugget’s beloved low-brow atmosphere with added fun and comfort, while employees will sport an improved, serviceable bar to make work a little easier and convenient, and maybe provide the Nugget with another shot at winning the Best Bar with a Low- Brow Ambiance in Tucson.

The Beach Boys L.A. Light Album
is Melancholy

Dark hazy large sunglasses and big hoop earrings worn on the countless frames of wonderful women—long straight hair and sun tan—waiting for a hug. Beaded entryways and orange curtains. Rainy days and groceries—cigarette smoke anyplace, anytime. Disco shirts and Dingo boots. A sadness keeps interrupting All in the Family.

The end of the seventies is at hand...there is a general apathy, a sense of trying to live right, a search for happiness in Cosmo, Franco-American Macaroni & Beef, drugs and the right swinging partner. Going to parties and finishing frustrated. The hotel pool is freezing and nobody wants to jump in.

This album is a soundtrack to a un-filmed Altman film...it captures its time. I can't help but remember my childhood in the seventies when I put this thing on, yet the music applies today.

Good Timin’

A Glorious overture...TELL ME, O MUSE, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after trying to survive one decade in the promise of an America. What good timin' does this hero share with the Gods?!

Lady Lynda

Welcome to the fireplace, wine and shag. It is hard to leave this little pad of the 70s. Maybe you are under her spell...Calypso? The woman is long and tall...I can imagine her hairstyle, can you?

Full Sail

Sail on Sailor, now on quiet, mellow waves of depression...hard to catch the wind sometimes. Mourning your father. The grey eyed Goddess is your guide now. Poseidon haunts your dreams. Carl is the man of twists and turns.

Angel Come Home

You are trapped in a relationship with the nymph Calypso, “I told you there would be heartache and shipwreck in your future,” she says, "Would you rather share immortality with me?" Every day for the last ten years you have sat in the flower-wallpapered kitchen, weeping for home and Penelope. There is no more beer in the fridge.

Love Surrounds Me

This man of twists and turns is still alone, and it’s hard to dream. Will this decade ever end? The Sirens swarm in full of voices and tones and the sound is healing...A kind of samadhi in 1979.

Sumahama

(Sometimes I skip it, but not often)...Only for Lotus eaters. Do not be tempted to stay on this island or you may be eaten.

Here Comes The Night

1979: A Space Odyssey. There is no place like Los Angeles. “I will show you fear in a handful of dust!” Beware of Circe or be turned into swine right on the dance floor. She says, "You will never see home again."

Baby Blue

A return into the arms of your beloved Penelope. You have waited for this for 10 years. You have suffered Poseidon’s American joke for too long. If you could only lay here in Penelope’s arms forever. Forever. Is this real?

Goin' South

In the end the man of twists and turns will always be alone. Thank you Carl.

Shortenin' Bread

The afterlife is not what you thought it would be. The Gods are drunk.

Renting a Movie

Our group performed our study at Casa Video on a Sunday evening at 6pm. Casa Video is the best local video rental store in Tucson. There were numerous locations in which we could easily become space “invaders.” Both the entrance and exit doors, the narrow aisles in front of the video selections, and the narrow passageway that led to the exit door became our primary locations.

At the entrance and exit doors, Terri and her friend talked loudly and only allowed a small space between them in which costumers could walk through. Larry and I were surprised how friendly the costumers were in each circumstance. Almost all lowered their eyes and softly said, “excuse me” as they darted between Terri and her friend.

Inside the store, all four of us blocked various isles, and sometimes stood in front of the video selection in the “new release” isles, thereby blocking the view from costumers. Again, everyone was friendly towards us, and softly excused themselves as they browsed. Terri and her friend even stood in front of the adult section and talked and joked at the top of their voices. This caught one man’s attention, and he lingered around in some nearby isle, as if to check out the action. Eventually he lost interest and continued to browse in his own space.

The best place in the store to “get in the way” was the thin isle along the check-out counter. Larry and I stood at the little entrance to this narrow isle and pretended to watch the featured movie on a large flat screen hanging from the ceiling. Terri’s friend stood in front of us, joked and talked loud. The costumers didn’t complain, and went about their business as if they weren’t bothered. Nobody stopped to wait for us to move, yet most said, “Excuse me” as they continued to walk through our barrier with heads down and eyes averted.

I was surprised to find how difficult it was to invade the space of others. I had to overcome a lot of resistance to perform this study. My usual behavior is to stay out of the way as much as possible. I cannot speak for Larry, but I suspected that he would rather avoid conflict as well. The women however, seemed to exhibit no fear, and looked forward to this experiment with relish. They couldn’t wait to see the reactions of the costumers.

What I’m Thinking About Now

While in Minnesota, Jack talked about my old piano sonata about Bible camp at Ironwood Springs, and suggested I someday play this work for Terri, and discuss up my old Methodist background and etc—and how I was searching for the truth even back then. This has moved me to take this work out again from my old brain...the score was destroyed years ago, but I actually recorded the work a couple of years ago at the U of A music building in a practice room with a portable tape recorder (sadly I threw that tape away some time ago). I may go to the college again today and try to recall the music yet again—I still love the piece, as it brings up all kinds of old impressions and memories.

In the summer of 1996, I traveled to Aspen, Colorado to attend the famous Aspen Music Festival. My main objective was to hear Das Lied Von Der Erde by Mahler (I was able to attend rehearsals). I brought Swafford's bio on Ives with me to read before concerts. On one occasion this nice student, named Terri, saw the book and laughed and said they were just talking about Ives during a Beethoven rehearsal. Terri was conducting the Beethoven 4th and somehow a group of her players was playing another tune at the same time, and someone said it sounded like Ives.

One time Jack took out the score to the 2nd movement of Ives's Three Places in New England and had me follow the score with him while blasting the stereo at top volume. We were both awed at the metric complexity and Jack’s running commentary was illuminating. He was like a kid opening up a Christmas present. Another devotee came in the room and said, "What the hell is this? What are you doing?" Jack is saying, "Not now! Wait till this is over!" Jack would tell me Ives was also a great mathematician, and then he would grab some chalk and draw up on the chalkboard how Ives would write with six or more different time signatures at once, etc.

Jack was a big fan of Irish Reels, and other Americana stuff like Turkey and the Straw, Grandma's Red Stocking, and Stephen Foster tunes among many more. He also had a passion for Hymns, and played those the most. He was obsessed with learning how to make his own violin, so he researched and started to learn by repairing old violins first. He had articles about Stradivarius and Guarneri, two master violin craftsmen and would wax lyrical over these craftsmen who lived in the 17th century for hours. After many years of experimenting and learning my Grandfather made his first violin, I think he was 64 years old at the time. He did all this while taking care of a farm spanning over 300 acres, with cattle.

I was impressed by his singular passion...and although he taught himself to play since he was a child, in his ‘70s he was taking lessons from a classical violinist. He didn't play serious classical, but he appreciated it. Later he would be amused by my growing interest in European classical music, calling it “longhair music” with a laugh. But at heart he was a country fiddler, who used to fire up dances at hoedowns when he was young—and playing in Church on Sundays as he got older. He had a wonderful unique tone I remember well. Somehow his violin sounded like Terri's singing. I was very impressed and in love with his playing.

Kiss

What's your favorite Kiss album and why? Bonus points if you mention a couple other records you like so we don't get any one-word answers!

I became obsessed with KISS starting in the 1st grade in 1976. My classmate Benjamin brought the Destroyer album to class, and I just stared at it amazed. I was confused because the name said KISS, but the cover showed evil-looking guys in costumes. However, it did look like Paul was puckering up to kiss, so I thought, “Okay there you go”. I only heard the hits and not the album at this juncture.

KISS Alive II is the big album for me. This album really got me hooked. My uncle gave me his 8 track and his vinyl copy and this is how I heard KISS until I got Dynasty for my Birthday, and wow what a great day that was. I played that album to death on my small plastic kid's turntable, my favorite track being I Was Made for Loving You Baby.

In 1977 my friend Terri and I found a warped Love Gun on someone's lawn, just lying there after some party, without a cover, so we took it to school to show everyone. And we discovered it played just fine on the classroom record player. I really loved this album as well.

The warped copy of Love Gun was an artifact of mystery. I used to look at this record and imagine who used to own it before it was thrown out on the lawn. I imagined some lady at a party, a lonely single lady, out for a night after she got home from work, and maybe she was looking for love, and the music also conjured images of so many mysterious people out there living in some vast city, and I could just visualize the interiors of their apartments, high above the city, and imagine many romances going on—a window into the lives of adults who were a constant mystery, and I used to wonder what it was like to be an adult. The music somehow let me visualize the mystery of adulthood in a way I didn’t anywhere else. I visualized thousands in attendance at this huge, incredibly vast KISS concert, somewhere in some distant place out in the open, and I could see the smoke in the air, a red light on the stage and the darkness of the night as the band played…the band seemed so far away I could barely see them in the smoke. I could see incredibly beautiful ladies there in the audience with their boyfriends. I felt fearful but excited about this epic world out there…the nighttime world.

I only heard the other ‘70s albums from a fellow fan at school, Terri, because her had all the LPs. I can’t remember what these albums sound like—hell, I barely remember Dynasty because it's been so many years since I last heard it.

Sadly, I went through a Christian record burning phase (sadly, the first of many) so that warped Love Gun and vinyl KISS Alive II are long gone.

SO the albums I can really remember are Destroyer and KISS Alive II...these are the albums I'm still interested in today, and to a lesser degree Love Gun.

Who's your favorite Kiss member and why?

Paul Stanley was my main man. Terri’s dad bought Terri the KISS makeup kit, and I was always Paul when we played KISS. We’d get the makeup on and rock out, mime guitar to her dad’s LPs.

Ace Frehley was the mysterious guy, and eventually he became more of a favorite, but it took time because I couldn't place his personality too well, and I was always trying to understand his Shock Me song, and what the hell he meant by “put on the black leather!” I was like why? What does he mean by that? Shock Me? I saw Ace on TV playing a solo and all of a sudden his guitar went up in flames and it blew my mind, was this guy a magician or something? What the hell how cool is this?!?! My friends and talked for ages on this issue

Peter Criss. I really love Beth. I got the sense he was the sensitive one, the quiet one, not quite as cool looking as the other guys. I didn't think about him much besides he had that great voice in Beth.

Gene was intimitating, and kinda scary in a cool way, but I loved his powerful voice, and I secretly wished I could be him rather than Paul sometimes. But my Terri was always Gene.

What's the last Kiss record you bought, i.e. where do you jump off fandom-wise?

Well, Dynasty was my last KISS record I guess. I didn't really listen to all of Unmasked that I can remember...only remember Naked City from that one.

I didn't listen to anymore KISS after Dynasty, except what I heard on MTV or friend’s houses here and there. I didn’t care for the new drummer, and I didn’t like KISS without the makeup...not at all, and the music wasn't thrilling like the 70s songs so I never returned.

Tell me a Kiss story relating to your youth.

I remember watching Phantom of the Park on Halloween! Yeah, I made sure I wouldn't miss it, and of course my friends and tried to remember all the details. It was indeed an exciting time. Once in a while you would see something, pre-MTV of course, on TV about KISS. I remember seeing clips of concerts, and seeing a short documentary on how they prepare for a concert.

Terri and I were always writing down the lyrics of our favorite KISS songs while in class, and trying to show off our memorization and Terri would transcribe the most because her dad had those albums, so she could transcribe the lyrics for me and bring those to school, that was really cool.

I would chase girls sometimes pretending I was Paul Stanley. One time, these girls Kristen, Michelle, and Jodi from the higher 5th grade turned back on me and held me and threatened to kick me in the balls if I didn't stop chasing them! But Terri came and told them to stop, and they did!

Sometimes Terri and I would don our makeup and fake blood (like on the KISS Alive II cover) and pretend to fight on a sidewalk, and cars would stop and a guy would say, “Hey you kids!” “Stop fighting!” “Are you two okay?’ or something.

Well, years later, when I was 20 or 22, I was looking for my violin case and I guess it was under my parent’s bed, so I looked and was grabbing stuff out of there and all of a sudden I see this album, still in shrink and lo and behold it's the Love Gun album. I asked my mom about this and she was—whoa, that was supposed to be my Christmas present for 1978 and she had forgotten about it somehow!

About Terri

In 1988 I went on a camping trip with Terri and her family. The cabin, owned by her family was located somewhere in northern Arizona. I can’t remember the town’s name. Terri, one year below me in high school, had invited me while we were hanging out in the art room at Grant High one morning while we were working on some stuff. I was a senior and she was a junior.

I remember going fishing for small mouth bass in the morning and we caught a bundle. The cabin was on the edge of a lake, that much I remember, and we were surrounded by wooded land. I remember the night her parents got away from the kids by touring the lake on the boat, and—as their children knew—to have sex in the night air.

Terri wasn’t always a reliable friend, but I do remember her fondly, even as a kind of artistic mentor. She was very spontaneous in her art, and I liked to watch her. I’d say watching her work taught me about the artistic thinking process, and how it gets manifested into action. My effort to be like her pushed me beyond limits of thinking and doing art in a profound way that took years to understand. It wasn’t a mental understanding, but a tacit experiential communication while I watched her work.

I remember one night I called her, and she said she was in the middle of a painting—one of her large wooden panel works—she invited me to come over to watch her finish it, so I quickly drove over to her house and found her in front of her garage with this large panel lying flat on the ground (about eight by five feet or so). Looking down on the panel I enjoyed seeing the figures she had already painted down onto the wood, her abstracted, caricatured humans she liked to draw. Blowtorch in hand, she proceeded to blast her painting with a blazing blue fire. As the picture turned black, darkening all colors in a blackened varnish the picture suddenly became a nightmarish vision right before my eyes. She circled the picture in affirmation and it was done. I always liked how she kept coming up with ideas as she worked, not always planning before hand, but shifting and trying new things as she worked. She said the blowtorch idea came at a late stage, out of frustration with the picture.

I remember Kurt Vonnegut writing that no matter how good you think you are, there is always going to be a Mozart to come along and tear you a new asshole, and that was my experience with Terri. But it was a profound artistic lesson to get to witness her talk and create art. Actually Terri was the one who introduced me to Vonnegut, and to other writers like Samuel Beckett.

Also see the second novel in this series:

Rockenrollll